borbiusle Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 I'm 100% sure I screwed up royally and have 0 chance of getting her back but anyways here we go . We dated/had sex for about 6 months. I went on vacation for a whole month, most of the time being spent in a remote beach area of Honduras with my family where it's hard as **** to get cell phone reception, so I didn't talk to her much. When I came back, we had super-good sex that night, massage, candles, making-out, everything. After that night, she went on a trip to her brother's wedding for 5 days, and came back all weird and distant. My GF calls me, crying on the phone about personal problems, and gave me the whole "lets be friends" speech. At first I was cool about it, but in my gut I felt something was terribly wrong. Come to think of it, I had a really vivid dream one night during my vacation where I caught her cheating on me, but it was too surreal and out of place for me to pay any mind to it. Anyways, I ultimately let that and my emotions get the better of me, I got paranoid, and did stupid things. I called my ex 15 times in a row one night, she didn't pick up, I txted her crap like "Why are you ignoring me?" I went to her house that night to see if she was there, her car was gone, and some random dude's car was parked in front of her house. The front door was wide open but I didn't want to risk going to jail for trespassing so I simply left. The next day, I visit her unannounced at 6am and try to get her side of the story. She tells me she was sleeping last night. I tell her what I did last night, that I love her, and that I don't appreciate her lying to me. She doesn't take my snooping around well(obviously) and gives me the "WTF" face. She ignores my original question and ultimately she tells me she feels the "spark" in our relationship is gone and she hasn't felt the same about me for a while now. I leave basically telling her that she is a liar and shouldn't have wasted my time. At work, I text her 2 more times about what she really was doing the night I went to her place. Again, she denies doing anything wrong and then tells me I'm treating her like crap, I need to grow up, stop talking to her, etc. I send a txt back, just letting her know I don't want beef and she can go do whatever she wants. I haven't talk to her since. I think I've burnt every bridge imaginable here lol. I just want honest opinions here, I know what I did was extremely irrational and creepy but something inside of me doesn't want to accept that it's over and it's time to move on.
frustrated&sad Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Hey, B, I'm sorry for your hurt. However, after reading your post, it sounds like it is most likely not going in the right direction. My suggestion is that you go no contact for awhile. Perhaps after some space and distance you can then try again? Right now, though, she's probably just going to get more distant and upset if you keep contacting her.
deux ex machina Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Yes. Well. You did kinda screw the pooch there, must admit. You have a sense of humor about it, which helps. We have all had our moments of absurdity, 'tis certain. None are immune. Your last paragraph was right on point, and the fact that you can sort of step outside of yourself and see that is great - it shows you do have an idea of the scope of this. I highly recommend you get a book from your library called, "How to Break Your Addiction to a Person". This is Primal sh-t you're dealing with, little to do with her, per se. The book will aid you in ways I cannot. Another thing... ...remember this, and never forget it: You say, "I love you." She thinks, "I don't love you. You are annoying. GO AWAY." That's the way it is right now. So by going to her to straighten things up right now? You are merely reinforcing in her mind the fact that she doesn't want to be with you atm. Every time you contact her now, you are actually hurting the "cause". Hope you get the book. Good luck to you. Really. And stay away from her. Remember what I said.
boogieboy Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Yeah you blew it and your being co-dependent right now. You saw what happened, but she will lie as long as you let her. The situation is too obvious right now. SHe left you for someone else because she got bored of you. So leave her alone, accept the situation and move on. You dont want to accept it because youre stubborn, but you have to accept it whether you like it or not. You will get over her in a few months, or you can start flirting with new girls to forget about her. When you are finally over her you will realize why she left you so you dont make those mistakes again. BTW if she tries to contaact you, ignore her. SHe wont be calling to get back together. It rarely works that way.
Author borbiusle Posted August 3, 2009 Author Posted August 3, 2009 Yeah you blew it and your being co-dependent right now. You saw what happened, but she will lie as long as you let her. The situation is too obvious right now. SHe left you for someone else because she got bored of you. So leave her alone, accept the situation and move on. You dont want to accept it because youre stubborn, but you have to accept it whether you like it or not. You will get over her in a few months, or you can start flirting with new girls to forget about her. When you are finally over her you will realize why she left you so you dont make those mistakes again. BTW if she tries to contaact you, ignore her. SHe wont be calling to get back together. It rarely works that way. You're right and on a conscious level, I do see it for what it is, I just hate how my mind is on autopilot constantly flirting with the idea of us seeing each other again, even after I've taken steps to completely shut her out of my life (deleted all txts/photos, blocked myself from her facebook/myspace, stopped going to her neighborhood even).
Thomas X Forever Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 First off, the mere fact you made this topic and talked about how much you care, CLEARLY contradicts all the "lol"'s you put throughout your original post. So are you trying to play it cool with us, or are you trying to convince yourself it's all a big joke? Either way, you look like a tool. Especially after saying how you kept having sex with her... That aside, it doesn't matter what you did, but now only what you can do. And that's to leave her the **** alone. Period.
boogieboy Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 You're right and on a conscious level, I do see it for what it is, I just hate how my mind is on autopilot constantly flirting with the idea of us seeing each other again, even after I've taken steps to completely shut her out of my life (deleted all txts/photos, blocked myself from her facebook/myspace, stopped going to her neighborhood even). Thats ok, we all did it, it will take time for your mind to come off autopilot, but you will eventually do it. Theres plenty of things and people to do to forget your ex. Youre on your way because you see it how it is. The internal conflicts are natural.
Author borbiusle Posted August 4, 2009 Author Posted August 4, 2009 First off, the mere fact you made this topic and talked about how much you care, CLEARLY contradicts all the "lol"'s you put throughout your original post. So are you trying to play it cool with us, or are you trying to convince yourself it's all a big joke? Either way, you look like a tool. Especially after saying how you kept having sex with her... That aside, it doesn't matter what you did, but now only what you can do. And that's to leave her the **** alone. Period. Umm, I never said we kept having sex, nor am I trying to be a badass or a comedian on the internet. In retrospect, everything I did made me look like an ass, completely out of my character, I just thought it was funny at the moment before everything really started settling in and start ****ing with me. You're right, I do care on some level, I've admitted that. I'm just gonna ride these feelings out and stay NC with her and not talk about this with anyone anymore, it keeps bringing me back to Stage 1 of all of this. Thanks for the input.
Soul Bear Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 Either way, you look like a tool. Pot calling kettle... You are probably one of the most annoying, self absorbed people on here, and a good few of your posts really wrile me up. You need to get your ego and emotions in check. You seem like a lost soul. Take this as constructive critiscism Thomas.
CaliGuy Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 First off, the mere fact you made this topic and talked about how much you care, CLEARLY contradicts all the "lol"'s you put throughout your original post. So are you trying to play it cool with us, or are you trying to convince yourself it's all a big joke? Either way, you look like a tool. Especially after saying how you kept having sex with her... That aside, it doesn't matter what you did, but now only what you can do. And that's to leave her the **** alone. Period. Thomas, As patient as people have been with you.... As much good advice people have given you... As kind as people have been to you... This is very disappointing to see. I'll not be offering anymore advice to you. If you want to treat people like crap who come here for help, then I guess you're learning about karma the hard way.
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