SadieLadie Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 PLEASE HELP!!My boyfriend and i have been together a little over a year, and recently moved in together, not really for romantic reasons but more because his place was closer to my school, i'm 18 and he's 25 and although i am younger i often feel like the mature responsible one, i am working very hard to get my bachelors and become a Registerd Nurse, he hasnt had a jod for almost 6 months now and hes not even looking anymore, hes a musician, and a good one but it seems like he dosent understand that he needs some sort of backup, i dont want to end up supporting him forever, he has jokingly said how he will be the stay at home dad and that scares me to death its not the future i have in mind for myself. also he is soo bothersome sometime, he just pokes fun at me, he's always making fun, and hardly ever compliments me anymore,he bites hard for no reason , and pinches, abd makes fun of the way i say certain words and i know hes joking but its really annoying sometime, hes like a 2nd grader who makes fun of a girl becuase he likes her, i mentioned this to him several times that he cant just be mean to me and then kiss me when he wants to have sex, aside from that, he dosent know how to be romantic, he'll just get a dopey smile on his face and start kissing my or unzipping his pants!! not appealing, i tried to incourage him ot be more romantic with me by showing him one night he came home from band practice i lit candles all over the room and had some music playing i gave him a massage and then made passionate love to him, and he loved it, but i dont think he would ever think about doing the same for me, and it breaks my heart. anyway, i dont know what to do i love him to death, hes a very sweet man, and i know he means well, but i just dont know if he will ever shape up and be the man i need.
Hkizzle Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 I think there's a difference between you don't understand him and you love him. You just described him, a lazy inconsiderate bum, so you understand him perfectly. What you want to know is how to change him right? Actually, he cracks me up because he reminds me of a period in my early twenties when I was unemployed. I then became successful banking. Look, if he's no longer lookinf for work and dependent on you. The worse thing is to support that. Kick him out and make him get a job or starve and he'll respond faster than if he had a safety net. As for his mean streak. Not much you can do about that if you tell him you don't like it and he still does it.
boogieboy Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 You cant change him. And he doesnt want to change. What you see is what you get for the rest of your lives. So if you want someone who is romantic, and supports you financially so YOU can stay home with the kids, this aint the guy.
b3nx Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 I planned a weekend away for me and my girl. We were going to go Friday ad Saturday night. Now I have to work fridy night. I am unable to find a place that will allow just a one night stay on Saturday. I was thinking we could do it te same time the following month. I don't want her to be annoyed at me like I already had to cancel going away Friday night now I migy hve to cancel whole weekend but I want t to be an awesome time so do you think she will be yay annoyed with going away a month later?
mortensorchid Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 I understand him. He has a working girlfriend with her act together and he doesn't. Why should he change or do something with himself? KICK HIM OUT. He has a mother already, and that's not your job to be his mother. Either tell him to get it together or tell him that he can move back home with his mom until he does. End of story. You will end up resenting him as well as yourself. He can move onto another gal and leech off of her until she wises up too. But do something about it before it's too late for both of you.
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