donna29 Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 Hi All, Its been 5 weeks since i threw the cheating ex out but instead of feeling better i am feeling worse, today has been horrible ive never felt so weak as i have today....how long before i start to feel like me again?? Still struggling to believe he was leading a double life for the last 3 yrs with another woman, thoughts and visions and Arhhhhgggg...... At the moment i feel ike i cant be a mom to my little boy but dont know how to pick myself up... Im 29 and feel 60......Im telling myself im better than his cheatin ass will ever be.... When will this feeling of the last 10yrs of my life being a lie with him ease from my stomach? Sorry to drone on...xx
MSUE Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 I'm sorry you are hurting this much...Were the last 10 years a lie? or the last 3 years? nothing should ever get on the way of you being able to be a mom to your lil boy...if you are feeling this way maybe you should seek help from a therapist or something along those lines...
Author donna29 Posted August 2, 2009 Author Posted August 2, 2009 hiya, thanks for the reply when i was talking about my son perhaps i worded it wrong, im finding it hard doin day to day stuff as a mom should, hes only little he dosent understand, we were together 10 yrs and he cheated twice which both total amost 5 yrs of our 10 so i just feel robbed....im gonna go see the doc i think, a one night stand i could get over but to have another house family etc thats wot doin my head in but my baby shuldnt suffer because of his ass of a dad...xx
hopesndreams Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 Timeframe is different for everybody. It's been 3 1/2 months for me. I had a pretty good day yesterday but am feeling down in the depths of despair today. I was with my H for 10 years as well and am struggling looking back through the years at this and that and now actually knowing he wasn't the man I thought he was. You did the right thing throwing him out and because of that, I believe that you will heal much quicker than those that weren't able to. As for your child, you just got to get with it and do what you can do. I have a year old grandson that for the past 5 months have missed out on because of so much sadness. Even though he lives with me and I take care of him as much as I could, there are times, perhaps too many times, I just want to be alone and wallow. Try not doing that, you are his mum and he needs you.
ahotmess Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 I am soo sorry for your pain. But I think I atleast somewhat understand...though I'm thankful that I'm not trying to deal with 10yrs of a relationship. My ex left me for my married best friend. My ex and I were looking at houses to buy and talking about a spring wedding....so it wasn't some little fling (or s I thought). The breakup and their hook-up, including her leaving her hubby happened SOOOO quickly. My ex and I rarely had bad times..... it was great and then it was gone. My trouble lies in trying to not think about this great wonderful relationship that I had. I'm trying to turn my "prince charming" into a bad guy and that is pretty hard. My head says "look what he did!" I would tell anyone who was in my shoes what a loser he must be etc.... but I can't get past the person I thought he was. It's disgusting really. My heart (or whats left of it really) goes out to you. Just know that you're not alone.
gavinus Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 you are not alone! We all share the same thing...pain and grief. All I can say is take one day at a time, if you can't do that then take an hour at a time. There is somebody out there for all of us who will treat us right, every day that goes by is another day we are getting stronger, take care
Author donna29 Posted August 3, 2009 Author Posted August 3, 2009 Thanks all so much for the replies.... I know in my head hes the biggest loser ever and would be quiet happy neer to see him again.....my son has asked for him loads and i keep saying hes working....where we live is a small place and people keep coming telling me stuff about him.... Its mad just how many people are in the same boat as me, u feel so loney yet its happening to every1. There is 1 thing tha makes me feel better.....the first time was with a woman 20 yrs older than me and the 2nd time she was 10 years older...hes 29 same as me so hes quiet pothetic really the problem must be im too young for him:p Your all rite my little boy needs me and i have to pull myself out of the rut and be a good mom to him, im ratting around in my house and theres only so much you can say to your child so im wallowing a bit... If someone loves you they dont treat you this way surely hes just an idiot.... Again thanks all for sharing my pain and your stories
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