phoenix1 Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 In no contact, early part. In huge pain and obsessed with what my ex is doing and with who. My imagination is a painful place. Feel hurt, lonely and depressed. Pretty sure he's keeping company with someone, or someones...and I am by myself. Makes me feel pathetic. My days right now? Keeping incredibly busy, and then coming home hoping it's time to go to sleep so I don't have to think about anything anymore. Everything takes huge effort, because I really don't feel like doing anything. Want to be further down this path, now! Ughhhhh!!!!
Taucher Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Hi Phoenix, Sorry to hear what you are going through. How long ago did you break up? You say early NC? Anyway, what you are feeling; I think everyone on this forum have had exactly the same thoughts and feelings, and it IS hard. But it DOES get easier. As hard as it is, you need to try and not think about what your ex is doing. There is no way you can know for sure, so worrying about it is not helpful. When you think about him and wonder what he is doing at that moment, the truth is he could be with someone, or, more likely, he could be wondering what YOU are doing, or rading a book or...anything. Not knowing should eventually lead to not caring. I am nearly 3 months since break up...and it IS easier but I still wonder. You cant control what an ex does though, you can ONLY control what YOU do. And that is FAR more important. Take care T
DSM2709 Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Hey Phoenix1, I understand what you are going through. I am experiencing the same feelings with my ex gf. I hate not being with her, and thought of her being with someone else, just drives me overboard. Thoughts just run through me like crazy, even though she tells me she's not with anyone, it's hard to believ because she's attractive, and I know she has alot of guy friends. Maybe it's my insecurity that is driving my thoughts, I wish I could change, but it's hard. I'm trying really hard to keep pressing on. God bless you and I hope for the best for you. Take Care.
on edge Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 OP, This is perfectly normal. And I completely understand your frustration about wanting to be further down the path. It takes time to heal, and most of the time it takes longer than we want. Take some time for yourself. Do some of the things that you used to enjoy before you started your relationship. For me, it was working out and riding my road bike. For you, it could be anything. Or maybe you want to try something new like ceramics, ballroom dancing...I dunno. Just do something for yourself.
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