cutiebutt Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 I cant anymore...im broken. I dont know what to do. He broke up y'day. tellin me we will never have a common future. He said me moving there wont ever be possible, he said its gna be worse after every visit and he cant take that anymore. He had tears in his eyes, he looked desperate and he kept sayin im sorry. I dont know what to do. I told him i wont give u up. I wont give THIS up -- its so damn special .. I said i will just give up if u tell me u DONT love me....cuz then it makes no sense. He hesitated, stuttered and said, i dont love you. And closed the cam. i cant stop crying idk what happened ... like 12 hours before that we were so happy, he txted me all night that he cant wait to have me there again, to kiss me and now its all gotta be over??? i cant anymore i cant... Link to post Share on other sites
Lovelymisa Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 oh I am so sorry for your pain...I cannot imagine if this happens to me. What you are going through is my number one fear. I have nightmares about this often that he would break up with me on cam and saying he doesn't love me In 10 days we would have been doing LDR for 2 months, and we have another 6 months to go... I am so scared he would not hang in there for me... I am so sorry you are heartbroken cutie, but please please try to be strong. If he is giving up now...he is not the one for you hun. I think he is just overwhelmed with everything...and the fact that he can't simply relocate to you and vice versa..its all just too much and dawned on him perhaps. Why don't you give him a few days and see if possibly he would come back and realized he mad a mistake by giving up... What is yours will always be yours, you will never lose what is meant to be yours...please be strong. *big hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
Cora Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 Oh hun your post brought me to tears! I can feel the pain in your words. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I know that it sucks and I know how it feels to go through that hurt. Nothing I can say is going to make you feel better. I wish that there was something, anything I could do. Just try to hang in there and stay strong. This isn't easy I know, especially when it feels like part of your world just died. You are in my thoughts and prayers! Big (((HUGS))) to you! Link to post Share on other sites
AnnPod Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 Breaking up in a LDR - very, very weird. Being left by someone who has never really been there anyway feels surreal. But look at your situation: A transatlantic LDR (and I am in one as well) means taking extremely big risks, spending a lot of money to see each other, the time difference that makes it difficult to talk, and then one has eventually to move like really far, you probably have to get married for visa, someone has basically to give up his/her life and start a new one. And then seeing someone only every few months, the goodbyes, the uncertainty, always missing someone, jealousy, this is emotionally very challenging. So if two people decide to go for a thing like that, they must be in some way sure that this is a major thing between them, because otherwise it is a too hard thing to go through. And this also brings you very quickly to the question how serious you are with someone anyway. So if he says he doesn't love you, accept it (hard) and move on (even harder). This means to change your habits: Block him from chats, delete him from facebook, make this a clear cut. Be careful if he tries to conctact you. Focus on yourself and your own life. It's gonna be hard, but you can get through it. This happens to everybody. Also Kopf hoch Und versuch so oft wie es geht zu lächeln, wenn's wieder geht. Link to post Share on other sites
carvidep Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 *hugs* *more hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
somuchpain Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 Im so sorry:( damn i cant ever imagine that sort of pain. Very heart breaking news:( so sorry to here it. I know theres not alot anyone can say to make it go away but all i can say is be strong, and focus on you and not him, and time will heal you. Link to post Share on other sites
MSUE Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 I'm so sorry you have to go trough such pain...but someway somehow you have to think of the positives...better now then later when you have even more of yourself invested...you are getting a clean start...you might meet someone that wont have to be LDR someone that can truly be there...you'll go trough a grieving process then healing and moving on...stay strong stay as positive as possible...keeep ypur head held high...you deserve to be w someone that truly loves u and can truly be there Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 I'm so very, very sorry. Just sending my thoughts and wishes out to you, so you'll feel better soon -- and yes you WILL feel better, each and every one of us does, it just takes some time. Honestly though, if someone drops you after a while LD they really weren't made out of the sort of stuff that can last a lifetime together with you, honey. It's better to know now than after you've given up everything to be with him, no? Link to post Share on other sites
Lovin a scrapper Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 I cant tell how sorry I am to hear that news. If there is anything that any of us on the Shack can do for you, just let us know and Im sure that we will do what we can. I think that Elswyth is right. Better to know now before giving up everything. I know that is no consulation though. Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 I'm so sorry to hear that... wow. I think he just got really overwhelmed with the distance and couldn't take anymore. Some people are more strong than others emotionally. This is one of my biggest fears too though, that one day I will wake up and get a text or a voicemail from my boyfriend saying that he wants to just end things. But I'm so sorry to hear that. Like AnnPod said though, block him from chats, delete his number, any saved texts, emails, etc. Get rid of anything that will remind you of him and try to start afresh. Yes, easier said than done I know, but that will help alot. Link to post Share on other sites
Spirit of the Ocean Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 Aww Cutie, I'm so sorry to hear your news I know you must be feeling horrible right now so try not to be alone too much. You probably feel like sitting at home and hibernating but it's good to surround yourself with friends and family and just love. Long distance can really get to you I know and I feel for you. Remember, you can always come here and vent, there will always be someone to listen. *Hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
Just Call Me Reba Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 I'm very sorry you have suffered this loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you in the hopes that a new ray of sunshine will come your way...and this pain will subside. It's never easy, but it seems like there are alot of people here who have written you some kind thoughts. Hopefully you will find some peace for now with that! Take care....my best to you....Reba Link to post Share on other sites
OceansApart Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 I am so sorry. Its heartbreaking to read the post.. I can't imagine what you are going through right now. I think the people that are in long distance relationship are one of the strongest, and hope that I really hope that your love overrules it all and you guys can work this out. I am going on a year now with my boyfriend and I don't know what I would do if we were to end things. I love him so much. I hope the best for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Mei Mei Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 Oh I feel so sorry to hear what you are bearing now. Yes, love across ocean as you do, I have the intrinsic fear of the scene you are facing also. But do pour your feeling out. All of us here can understand how it is and is very much willing to support you! Do love yourself most and cherish yourself. You are a lovely babe and I hope to do anything I can to give you help and support! " big huggggggggggg' Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 I cant anymore...im broken. I dont know what to do. He broke up y'day. tellin me we will never have a common future. He said me moving there wont ever be possible, he said its gna be worse after every visit and he cant take that anymore. He had tears in his eyes, he looked desperate and he kept sayin im sorry. I dont know what to do. I told him i wont give u up. I wont give THIS up -- its so damn special .. I said i will just give up if u tell me u DONT love me....cuz then it makes no sense. He hesitated, stuttered and said, i dont love you. And closed the cam. i cant stop crying idk what happened ... like 12 hours before that we were so happy, he txted me all night that he cant wait to have me there again, to kiss me and now its all gotta be over??? i cant anymore i cant... I'm very sorry for your pain. I have been in a similiar situation. I couldn't eat for 9 days. I was beyond devestated. I felt like I couldn't breathe, and I was sure I'd never find happiness again. I couldn't understand at the time how he could something so special go between us. Now that I have moved on and healed from that situation, I am able to look at it for what it is. When I read about people with these "I just can't take it anymore!" "I just can't go on with things this way!" bla bla bla excuses, it just makes me smirk. People these days, they have 101 excuses for just plain sucking sometimes. The reality is it, when these people tell us they don't love us; it hurts but at the same time we think "no, it can't be true!". They are right though, they don't love us. Because life is hard sometimes, relationships can be hard. You don't just quit on someone for your own selfish reasons when you trully love them. We think it's the end of the world sometimes when we're in an LDR don't we? What about if one of us were to be in an accident and severely maimed? What is one of us were to be involved in a career scandal and have our reputation and job security destroyed? What if you had a miscarriage, or a child abducted? I mean LDR's are difficult, but they are very low key in terms of real life problems some couples will have to face. Yet people are ready to fall apart over distance? It's sad man, purely sad. If you can't handle a LDR how the hell will you ever learn to handle the more heavy and severe tribulations a couple can face IRL? So, I'm sorry this has happened to you, but you deserve someone who is going to love you one day and who is going to step up to the plate and go to bat. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 I couldn't agree more with you, H2H. OP, you haven't posted for a while, hope you're okay. Do check in if you can? We're all very concerned about you. Link to post Share on other sites
Bayern Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 Sorry to hear it. I would assume he only said that to end both your pain. Viel glück. Link to post Share on other sites
Maggs Posted August 7, 2009 Share Posted August 7, 2009 I'm so sorry this happened to you! I can't imagine how devastating you must feel. Know that you've got lots on here thinking about you. So let us know how you're getting on. Take care Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts