Author trahn Posted August 5, 2009 Author Posted August 5, 2009 @D-LISH, You make good points and I see where you're coming from but i'm not one to be vengeful. What I was more irked by was the fact that she didn't say "i'm sorry" or even apologize. At the beginning of our conversation we started talking about random things and then she quickly mentioned a "spontaneous" family BBQ which I thought was peculiar to say the least. So there was some quick awkward silence and I said, "so I guess we're not going out tonight" and she responded "unfortunately, not." LOL.... No, hey, i'm sorry...nothing. I'm not saying she had to say she's extremely sorry and go on and on, but i'm wrong for her to at least say sorry about the last minute notice? Yes, when I initially posted this I was curious as to what other possibilites would be strongest vs. a "family bbq" but the lack of apology is what I thought was not really considerate. Anyway, I've noticed she's all of a sudden been "short" with her responses in the text or two we've had since the weekend and I think I may know why. It looks like there is more then meets me eye here and after I find out for sure i'll post back.
lucy9216 Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 trahn, well that may not be the best way to break a date I will agree with you on that one. That would irritate me a little as well, did you go with counter date yet? if so how did it go?
Author trahn Posted August 12, 2009 Author Posted August 12, 2009 @ Lucy, the counter-date went well....we had a great time, I was myself and treated her like a lady. I have a natural sense of humor (or so i've been told) and she laughed quite a bit. I thought things went well..BUT.....I'm getting MORE confused by the day....I work with a girl that is big into the zodiac signs and once I told her this girls sign she told me "there's your problem." This girl one day seems great, the next MINUTE she sems totally different.....I can give 10 more EXAMPLES since this post....but if I say she's a GEMINI and i'm a TAURUS does that help?
monkey00 Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 @ Lucy, the counter-date went well....we had a great time, I was myself and treated her like a lady. I have a natural sense of humor (or so i've been told) and she laughed quite a bit. I thought things went well..BUT.....I'm getting MORE confused by the day....I work with a girl that is big into the zodiac signs and once I told her this girls sign she told me "there's your problem." This girl one day seems great, the next MINUTE she sems totally different.....I can give 10 more EXAMPLES since this post....but if I say she's a GEMINI and i'm a TAURUS does that help? I wouldn't really get sucked into that zodiac BS. Don't listen to anyone else trying to pry into your dating life. Do what feels right to you. If things went well with her on the counter-date then great. If she accepts more date offers and things are running smoothly and progressing I don't see why there would be issues. So what are you referring to she's totally different the next minute? Let's talk about her body language on your date - it reveals a lot, what can you say about that?
Author trahn Posted August 12, 2009 Author Posted August 12, 2009 @ monkey, ok, her "body language" shows she is having a great time she playfully touched me a few times,...things like that. We had a nice kiss (nothing too intimate) after the last date and as I said things went well...but here is the thing. I've sent her a couple of texts thoughout the time we've dated and she usually responds the same day, and promptly at that. After this past weekend (she already had plans with friends and family) so we didn't see eachother, I wrote her Monday (text) to see how her weekend went and just to say Hi. The entire day goes by she doesn't respond, I leave her a VM after I leave work no response.....same thing today...then at the end of the day she writes me out of the blue saying she has been busy (not enough hours in the day) she says....lol. I'm sure she was busy but prior she had not let days go by without responding to text or voice mails...all of a sudden she's hard to reach. That is just one example...often times during conversation she seems to "flip" or change. I'm telling you I was NOT into zodiac signs AT ALL and never paid any attention to them but this girl I work with sent me a link and it was about Gemini Women and how they have "2 different personalities and faces" and i'm telling you, if you knew this girl you would be VERY SCARED by what you read on that Zodiac stuff.....i'm not remotely joking. I usually use LOGIC when thinking but i'm telling you I couldn't just plug a RANDOM girl into that Zodiac breakdown...this girl fit the bill and description PERFECTLY.....so i'm telling you i'm wondering if there isn't more to Zodiac signs then I've really given credit for......either way, i'm working on setting up another date this week or weekend but this girl is VERY VERY TOUGH TO READ.
monkey00 Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 @ monkey, ok, her "body language" shows she is having a great time she playfully touched me a few times,...things like that. We had a nice kiss (nothing too intimate) after the last date and as I said things went well...but here is the thing. I've sent her a couple of texts thoughout the time we've dated and she usually responds the same day, and promptly at that. After this past weekend (she already had plans with friends and family) so we didn't see eachother, I wrote her Monday (text) to see how her weekend went and just to say Hi. The entire day goes by she doesn't respond, I leave her a VM after I leave work no response.....same thing today...then at the end of the day she writes me out of the blue saying she has been busy (not enough hours in the day) she says....lol. I do find that odd. If a girl wasn't interested in a guy she wouldn't playfully touch him. She's definitely sending mixed signals. Anyway if I were you, I would avoid the SMS thing. Usually when I'm dating a girl I keep it light, I call ONLY to set up dates, we chat for a bit and I get to the point. I never call/text to chat only. Talking too much will allow yourself to slip into the 'boring' zone which I like to call being her girl friend. I'm not sure but it sounds like you may have fallen into the friend's zone after your last date. Her busy thing may be a way of brushing you off. I would say call again to set up another date, if she doesn't answer her phone just tell her it's (name), and to call you back. If she calls back, you set a date...if she accepts or counter-offers great. AND if she doesn't happen to call back, I would probably let this go or do NC for a couple of weeks and call out of the blue to make plans. I'm sure she was busy but prior she had not let days go by without responding to text or voice mails...all of a sudden she's hard to reach. You might be making yourself too readily available, which screams desperate/easy. Follow a 1:1 ratio, for each call you make that she misses, she should call back. If you find yourself calling her often and her not giving you the time of day, then just lay back. If you find a girl calling you more often than you her, you're obviously on the right track. I also forgot to mention that if a girl is really into a guy, she'll make things easy for him. nuff said.
Author trahn Posted August 12, 2009 Author Posted August 12, 2009 @ Monkey, you may be right.....I don't have a ton of friends (my choice) and maybe I am too readily available. Really, i'm not into delving too "deep" into playing games. There's always some level of game but I feel like if you like a girl or a girl likes a guy then there shouldn't be as many games as there was in JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL...lol. I mean my confusion is...if she isn't interested, just ignore my calls all together....I'll respect that and move on. You may be right on the "SMS" text stuff..but she has SMS TEXT ME out of the blue too and when I respond it's turned into a more lengthy SMS TEXT conversation...so there's no real way to avoid that......the 1:1 thing makes sense to me...but I feel like this girl "may" be playing hard to get and I feel if I didn't play into it that i'd just leave it be and move on and I feel she has enough solid qualities that I wouldn't want that....so that goes against your point of a girl "making things easy for a guy she likes." I think some girls will play hard to get and if you take that approach from Jump Street you may miss out on a great opportunity. I am more straight forward.....if a girl tells me by actions she wants a friendship or isn't interested I oblige quick...i'm always myself and never try or attempt to be something other then "myself" so I just go with the flow so to speak. Anyway, yeah, there's big time mixed signals here and i'm gonna try to find out more about why if we set up another date anytime soon..that's for sure.
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