lucy loo Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 I always find that men have the same patterns when it comes to me. They pursue me and chase me like mad in the beginning and once they get me they slowly back off and then eventually dissapear out of my life.. Iv dated several men over the last couple of years but none of my experiences turn into rleationships. Im 22. Has anyone else had the same experience???????????????
Author lucy loo Posted August 2, 2009 Author Posted August 2, 2009 Then why the **** dont they just say that.. Instead of wasting their time taking you out on dates and spending money on you... Surely it would be easier just to let the girl know from the beginning that thats all you want.. A lot of girls just want no strings attached sex too.. why go to so much trouble and sometimes for months on end just for a shag????
steveraves Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 Because most girls do get turned off when you say that all your interested in is a good F$ck. If he told you all he wanted from you was sex, would you have given it to him?
Author lucy loo Posted August 2, 2009 Author Posted August 2, 2009 so you deceive them for months on end knowing all you want is sex and nothing else..
steveraves Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 so you deceive them for months on end knowing all you want is sex and nothing else.. Would I do that? No! It would be to exhausting. You didn't answer my question though. If he told you all he wanted from you was sex would you have agreed? I suspect though that if this went on for months, and not a couple of weeks, it was something more than sex that turned him away...
Author lucy loo Posted August 2, 2009 Author Posted August 2, 2009 I would be able to recognise that it was just sex and not get too attached... what else could make a man turn away or suddenly dissapear.. if it was not the case that he was not just after an easy few shags
steveraves Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 Exactly how long are we talking about before you had sex? Had it gotten to the point where you loved one another?
Author lucy loo Posted August 2, 2009 Author Posted August 2, 2009 aftere three dates (3 weeks) he stuck around for months afer that though and then one day i didnt reply to his text (he asked no quetions) he went on holiday and I never heard from him again
steveraves Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 If I read what you wrote correctly after 3 dates you had sex. My guess is there wasn't much there relationship wise.. Maybe in the future try waiting longer, go on more dates, develop a relationship and then have sex..
Hkizzle Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 Then why the **** dont they just say that.. Instead of wasting their time taking you out on dates and spending money on you... Surely it would be easier just to let the girl know from the beginning that thats all you want.. A lot of girls just want no strings attached sex too.. why go to so much trouble and sometimes for months on end just for a shag???? The answer to your question is success ratio. I make it a policy of mine not to lead girls on, and I find that when I go on dates with girls I can take 80% of them what a relationship and would be hurt if I just had sex and moved on. Men know that whilst some women are happy to have casual sex, their success ratio drops significantly if they don't let the girl think there's at least the potential for a relationship. It's not too much trouble for many guys. They like the process of the entire chase, and the short term companionship. Deception is common in human behavior, just need to spot it. But I find women are very bad at spotting which men are just playing games, especially once they are attracted. I was thinking of writing a book about how men operate. A lot of my female friends go through what you go through. It's a global trend.
Hkizzle Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 If I read what you wrote correctly after 3 dates you had sex. My guess is there wasn't much there relationship wise.. Maybe in the future try waiting longer, go on more dates, develop a relationship and then have sex.. Steve makes a good point. The main difference between men and women is this. Whilst women will often also have casual sex and not want more from a guy, a woman generally won't go to a great deal of effort or deception to get the sex. A man however early on will classify a woman into either: 1) Just potential sex partner 2) Someone they want to have a proper relationship with. Whether a girl is classfied in the first group depends on two things. The integrity of the man, so if you're with a big player then you could be the nicest girl in the world and still be seen as just a sex partner. The other thing is how the girl interacts with the guy. This she can control, not to have sex too soon, not to seem too easy. The main thing is, don't assume what you feel is what men feel. Generally women qualify a guy early on, and won't have sex with a guy unless they are interested. Men don't have to be interested to have sex.
WineCountry Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 Then why the **** dont they just say that.. Instead of wasting their time taking you out on dates and spending money on you... Surely it would be easier just to let the girl know from the beginning that thats all you want.. A lot of girls just want no strings attached sex too.. why go to so much trouble and sometimes for months on end just for a shag???? Are you kidding me?? A lot of men are dogs, but they certainly wont TELL you that up front. Next time, dont give it up for a while. The pigs probably wont hang around that long, and you can weed them out.
Hkizzle Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 Then why the **** dont they just say that.. Instead of wasting their time taking you out on dates and spending money on you... Surely it would be easier just to let the girl know from the beginning that thats all you want.. A lot of girls just want no strings attached sex too.. why go to so much trouble and sometimes for months on end just for a shag???? Men my spelling was terrible, sorry for not proof reading. The answer to your question is success ratio. I make it a policy of mine not to lead girls on, and I find that when I go on dates with girls I can tell 80% of them want a relationship and would be hurt if I just had sex and moved on. Men know that whilst some women are happy to have casual sex, their success ratio drops significantly if they don't let the girl think there's at least the potential for a relationship. It's not too much trouble for many guys. They like the process of the entire chase, and the short term companionship. Deception is common in human behavior, just need to spot it. But I find women are very bad at spotting which men are just playing games, especially once they are attracted. I was thinking of writing a book about how men operate. A lot of my female friends go through what you go through. It's a global trend.
v g Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 Deception is common in human behavior, just need to spot it. But I find women are very bad at spotting which men are just playing games, especially once they are attracted. I was thinking of writing a book about how men operate. A lot of my female friends go through what you go through. It's a global trend. Hkizzle, please share with us how women can spot which men are playing games, especially once they are attracted. And thanks in advance.
Author lucy loo Posted August 2, 2009 Author Posted August 2, 2009 I would like to know too... how can you spot this...
loveslife Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 My feeling is the surest way to differentiate between someone who just wants sex and someone who wants a relationship is to not have sex too soon. I tried casual sex when I was in college and in my early 20's but then decided it wasn't for me. So from then on I only had sex as part of a relationship. (Well, other than a couple of "reunions" with exes.) How do you tell the players? Know what you want and don't settle for less. In other words, stop having sex with men until you know them well. And then be honest with yourself about the type of person they are before making the decision to have sex. I have come to believe that we all know when a guy's a jerk but live in denial because of our own issues.
Hkizzle Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 Hkizzle, please share with us how women can spot which men are playing games, especially once they are attracted. And thanks in advance. I'll post in a new thread.
MissViolet Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 I'll just give you another perspective...Perhaps these men don't go in with the intention of just sex (although who are we kidding, most men want sex, as do women)...But maybe along the way they discover that you're not what they want in a life partner, gf, or whatever. I mean not every relationship works out, it's like 'trial and error'
Hkizzle Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 That can be true. Which is why men actually categorize women into 3 categories: 1) Women they will have sex with but won't commit to 2) Women they will date but won't marry 3) Women they will marry. Women qualify men in a similar but different way. First of all many women won't even start something with a man they're not interested in. They qualify men earlier and men that don't cut the grade don't even get the chance at a relationship. More men have a wait and see approach. If it doesn't work out there's the sex.
Author lucy loo Posted August 2, 2009 Author Posted August 2, 2009 But what makes guys put you into one of thos catogories.. for example its obviously not just the sluts that get put into the "Just for sex" catagory and the nice girls that get put into the "marriage material" catagory.. I am a well educated nice girl and I always seem to be in the just for sex catogory
You'reasian Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 First of all many women won't even start something with a man they're not interested in. They qualify men earlier and men that don't cut the grade don't even get the chance at a relationship.... Dating women fast forwards the process for men. Men use the traits that'll get them in, whether they have long-term attributes or not. More men have a wait and see approach. If it doesn't work out there's the sex. Also true. How to avoid players? Location, location, location 1. Think about venues and spots that are player-dense and those that are not. Visit them. Note the differences. 2. Find out the common traits about the venues with lots of players; those with few players. 3. Make sure you're not a playerette - thus reducing the population of players by one. 4. Avoid contact with players.
Lucky_One Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 But what makes guys put you into one of thos catogories.. for example its obviously not just the sluts that get put into the "Just for sex" catagory and the nice girls that get put into the "marriage material" catagory.. I am a well educated nice girl and I always seem to be in the just for sex catogory Well, you had sex with him on the second date. He started treating you like crap, then took another girl into your workplace to pick up something and acted as though you two weren't dating, you went to his house even after the other girl incident where he was rude to you and your friend and fell asleep on the couch and you STILL gave him a BJ. You don't act as though you respect yourself. A man who is looking for a deep, abiding commitment wants a woman who respects herself and who will not tolerate disrespect from someone else.
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