kdj999 Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 I've recently started signing up and contributing to some forums on the internet. Most recently I visited another relationship forum. I was quite surprised by the attacks. Before I start getting comfortable was wanting to know what this forum like? How would you characterize the nature of most the interactions you've had with fellow posters here??? Are there judgmental mean people? How often are you likely to get attacked? Don't want to start posting, with a sincere desire to engage any discussions if I have to worry about people being mean. ALSO P.S. How do you deal with those types when you do come across them???
Art_Critic Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Are there judgemental mean people? No different than in real life... If you post in some of the infidelity forums then you have to have thick skin as a general rule but honestly any internet forum you should put on some think skin.. you get so many different versions of personalities than you do in real life and some people that post post to incite rather than help.. those you just ignore and take what you can from the thread...
fakobako Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 they will judge on what you write and how the interpret it. so, be real careful on what you write, how you say it and give good details. but than sometimes there are people who are just wanting to take their anger out on someone.
whimsical_memory Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Writing a response to someone on an internet forum can be very tricky, simply because the reader is not always able to tell the tone that the writer is taking. So, if you are in a crummy mood..odds are you'll think the poster is being mean and nasty to you. If you are in a joking mood, you'll fair better when you read the posts. People are much more open in what they say when they are sitting behind a faceless computer, it desensitizes some (certainly not all) people to the fact that what they are saying is being read by a person with real feelings and emotions. Best advice is to post what you like, but be prepared that not everyone is going to give you the response that you might desire. Welcome to the LoveShack!!!
Touche Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Why not jump in and find out for yourself? You won't get your answers here on this thread. What's "mean" to one person is quite helpful to another.
Ross PK Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Some people here are mean, but fortunatley they are in the minority and it is quite rare to be attacked here. The best way of dealing with those sort of people is to just put them on ignore, so you wont see their posts.
Trialbyfire Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=196191 Here's another recent thread that discusses how mean/judgemental people are, on LS.
PrincessOfDarkness Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 Some are, others aren't. I am pretty warm
Author kdj999 Posted August 2, 2009 Author Posted August 2, 2009 Thanks everyone for the tips. I'm a newbie to the internet forum universe. Its a totally different mode of communication whereby so much gets lost in the process. I guess it'll be a learning process. I do have to say though, need to work on developing that thicker skin...
You'reasian Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 I've recently started signing up and contributing to some forums on the internet. Most recently I visited the askmen.com forum. I was quite surprised by the attacks. Before I start getting comfortable was wanting to know what this forum like? How would you characterize the nature of most the interactions you've had with fellow posters here??? Are there judgemental mean people? How often are you likely to get attacked? Don't want to start posting, with a sincere desire to engage any discussions if I have to worry about people being mean. ALSO P.S. How do you deal with those types when you do come accross them??? People are pretty receptive and respectful, but some have a good nose for B.S. You get what you give. Make sense?
Eve Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Most are fine! I would say that it is wise to be aware of your own limitations here as in real life. So, if something irks you, just be cautious as to whether an opinion of yours is at all helpful. Sometimes though, I find that various opinions can give a good range of perspectives to the poster... so it all works out anyway. Just be yourself. What else can you do? Take care, Eve xx
me003 Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 If you have been reading you can pretty much tell whose posts you should not even read. Most people on each forum are nice and understanding and non judgmental. Some relate to how you are feeling. However, if you keep posting the same mistakes over and over and over and over again, then even the nice people will get mean. Just reread your post before you post it. Good luck and I hope you get helpful replies from everyone.
TaraMaiden Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 I'm probably the last person you should ask. But I'm actually not too bad when you get to know me. Now, stop wasting our time with trivia, and ask a proper question. Funnily enough, those who merit a bit of a "shoot from the hip" answer (in a 'tell-it-like-it-is' vein....) usually show themselves to be deserving of it, in their initial post. So I guess it depends on the person, and the calibre of their post. I sometimes get it horrifically wrong. But I have to say, I don't think it's all that often..... Don't be put off.....it's really mostly good round here.
carhill Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 I do have to say though, need to work on developing that thicker skin... I joined LS specifically for that reason. Works great. Hang around. You'll do fine
RedDevil66 Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 I've been part of a few others on-line boards (1 with the same theme as here) and I find that there is a high level of agression./meaness on this board. In every thread I've started, there was always someone who came in with their tough/mean attitude. There are some super great folks as well, and I know on other boards you also have your resident "idiots", but on other boards admins do not tolerate any bashing and the bashers get banned. so yes, there are more than a few agressive noobs on this site
utterer of lies Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 I've recently started signing up and contributing to some forums on the internet. Most recently I visited another relationship forum. I was quite surprised by the attacks. Before I start getting comfortable was wanting to know what this forum like? How would you characterize the nature of most the interactions you've had with fellow posters here??? If you want help, welcome. But if you just want people to comfort you, care-bear you, and tell you everything is ok even if it's not..there might be better places in the web for that. Are there judgmental mean people? How often are you likely to get attacked? Now that would be completely dependent on what you post. Don't want to start posting, with a sincere desire to engage any discussions if I have to worry about people being mean. Sounds more like a sincere desire to engage in censored, politically correct, shallow discussion. ALSO P.S. How do you deal with those types when you do come across them??? Ignore me, boogieboy and westernxer, and everything will be alright.
Ross PK Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 UOL, it is possible to get your point across that things aren't okay without being mean. The OP doesn't want everyone to tell him everything is ok, he just doesn't want people being nasty to him. I'm pretty sure you know all this.
utterer of lies Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 UOL, it is possible to get your point across that things aren't okay without being mean. The OP doesn't want everyone to tell him everything is ok, he just doesn't want people being nasty to him. I'm pretty sure you know all this. Some people think it's mean already if you give them nothing but the plain truth.
2sure Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 In my opinion, the sincere and consistent posters who offer advice based on reality are sometimes called mean. This is a support forum where people come with real life problems and get answers based on real life experience. Some posters who come here with a problem only want to hear feedback that reiterates what they think is the problem. They dont want to explore other perspectives or hear for a moment that the real problem might be them. Some posters who feel criticized and dont actually want to solve their problems or get a reality check would be better served in the LAFFY TAFFY PUPPY DOG FACTORY FORUM
Ross PK Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 Sorry, but 'telling it like it is' and that it's just a case of the other person 'not liking the truth' just seems to be an excuse that bullies make, to make themselves not look bad. It doesn't wash with a lot of people.
carhill Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 LOL...my wife's favorite line in this area is "if you didn't want to hear the truth, you shouldn't have asked the question". I heard the truth
Trialbyfire Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 It's so difficult to say there's definitively one way or another, to give advice and opinions to assorted members. I think the majority of "helpful" members, use whatever means they can, to try to get through to the opening posters. Of course, you get personality and style conflicts, as well as the negative maternal/paternal approaches. You also get crazies, both opening posters and advice/opinion givers, so take it all with a grain of salt.
TwinkletOes26 Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 again i will say there is an ignore button. If you find a certain person is lways negative and attacking place them on the list. Also just read what you think is helpful and ignore the rest. People on here dont know you personally ...so often time they will say something based on what they THINK you are all about. Its hard to see someones personality online.Sometimes it not about not wanting to hear the truth its about the answers being so left field. I left for a lil bit and came back refreshed now i see someone posting bs i dont argue i just place them on the ignore list. You dont see what they type so you dont have to worry about it.
Citizen Erased Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 again i will say there is an ignore button. If you find a certain person is lways negative and attacking place them on the list. Also just read what you think is helpful and ignore the rest. People on here dont know you personally ...so often time they will say something based on what they THINK you are all about. Its hard to see someones personality online.Sometimes it not about not wanting to hear the truth its about the answers being so left field. I left for a lil bit and came back refreshed now i see someone posting bs i dont argue i just place them on the ignore list. You dont see what they type so you dont have to worry about it. Yep. I have someone on ignore now and it feels good whenever I see that they have posted and I don't have to read it when it used to just irritate me.
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