bac Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 I was in a casual relationship like FWBs for 3 months. And everything was going fine. But suddenly the guy wrote me a rejection letter. I really can not understand what he meant in his rejection letter. He wrote:............sex was great......you are great......but we did not have an emotional connection, so we are not a good match......I wish you the best. What did he mean as an emotional connection?
whimsical_memory Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 I was in a casual relationship like FWBs for 3 months. And everything was going fine. But suddenly the guy wrote me a rejection letter. I really can not understand what he meant in his rejection letter. He wrote:............sex was great......you are great......but we did not have an emotional connection, so we are not a good match......I wish you the best. What did he mean as an emotional connection? It means that he wanted more than just sex and he did not get the feeling from you that you wanted more than just sex. So, in his eyes, he did the right thing by ending the FWB setup to avoid getting hurt. I hope that helps you understand
loveslife Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 I disagree with whimsical_memory. To me, it means that he felt something was missing and while the sex was great and you are great "it" was leaving him feeling dissatisfied. Sounds like he is a straight-shooter and did not want to lead you on. If it were me I'd leave the door open for him for friends without benefits. Sounds like he's honorable.
whimsical_memory Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Loveslife, how can you disagree with me and then say the same thing I said but with different words? The male wanted more than he felt that the OP was willing to give (hence the no emotional connection), and so he ended the FWB so that HE would not get hurt more (again, because of the no emotional connection- which seems HE had, but felt SHE did not have with him).
carhill Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 OK, OP.... take away the sex. Done. You didn't have an emotional connection (he says and I assume you agree). Done. What's left? Where is the basis for a friendship? Do you like to garden together? Pick an interest.... Personally, I don't like this FWB stuff. My wife calls it "sport-f*cking". Never did and never will understand the dynamic. Perhaps the interest you shared was sex and now that he's saying that's over for whatever reason (he says no emotional connection), there is no friendship and have a great life. I've felt this way with some women in my past, not based on sex. One day I look at them and wonder why am I here? Maybe that's what he did, IDK.
Ariadne Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 we did not have an emotional connection What did he mean as an emotional connection? You know... feelings?
loveslife Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Loveslife, how can you disagree with me and then say the same thing I said but with different words? The male wanted more than he felt that the OP was willing to give (hence the no emotional connection), and so he ended the FWB so that HE would not get hurt more (again, because of the no emotional connection- which seems HE had, but felt SHE did not have with him). Whimsical_memory, I'm not saying that at all. Basically, I think he was just not that into her and the casual sex wasn't doing it for him anymore. He wanted to move on. I don't think he was afraid of getting hurt. If anything, I suspect he did not want her to get too emotionally attached since he wasn't feeling it. Sorry, it can be easy to misunderstand one another on an Internet forum.
Lucky_One Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Personally, I don't like this FWB stuff. My wife calls it "sport-f*cking". Never did and never will understand the dynamic. Perhaps the interest you shared was sex and now that he's saying that's over for whatever reason (he says no emotional connection), there is no friendship and have a great life. I've felt this way with some women in my past, not based on sex. One day I look at them and wonder why am I here? Maybe that's what he did, IDK. He just doesn't want to do it anymore. It was fun, but he isn't feeling it. Carhill, I am with you on the sport f*cking. What's the point? I don't think I will ever be able to understand it. Sex is great, sure, but intense love-making (to include the really wild sweaty stuff) with someone that you truly care about is so much better. Maybe it just fills part of the emptiness temporarily that some people have, but I don't like temp fixes?
whimsical_memory Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Whimsical_memory, I'm not saying that at all. Basically, I think he was just not that into her and the casual sex wasn't doing it for him anymore. He wanted to move on. I don't think he was afraid of getting hurt. If anything, I suspect he did not want her to get too emotionally attached since he wasn't feeling it. Sorry, it can be easy to misunderstand one another on an Internet forum. ah see, the silly romantic in me was thinking that HE wanted more in the relationship besides just sex, and when he realized that just having great sex wasn't doing it for him, he broke things off.
loveslife Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 ah see, the silly romantic in me was thinking that HE wanted more in the relationship besides just sex, and when he realized that just having great sex wasn't doing it for him, he broke things off. Ah yes, being a silly romantic...that's sweet. I can be pretty naive at times and I'm kind of glad I still have some fragments of that. I think it's better than never expecting the best of people.
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 My FWB did that too. Then the very next day he was back for more. The reason he did it was simple. He felt I was getting too close, and he did not have feelings for me. Why did he come back? He knew he was moving nearly fifteen hours away before the end of that month and figured he would get all the sex he could. We are friends, so the only transition for us was 'getting into sex, and then back out of it" without missing a beat. We had known each other for a while before hooking up. So, as for your guy and an interpretation of "emotional connection"? He was more than likely talking about avoiding yours rather than professing his. He may have been getting signals from you that you wanted more (whether they were real or imagined on his part) and he went along his merry way. Or, he simply may have found someone he wanted to date and was tying up loose ends.
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