broken_promises Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 It has been over a month since I moved out. We were together 3-1/2 years and lived together for 1-1/2. The only contact on my part has been one email in reply to my ex's first email. He replied to that and then called and left a message a week ago. I haven't responded. Yesterday, I was going through things that are in storage at my mom's (to have a yard sale) and found a few things from/of him... photos, gifts, etc. from the beginning of our relationship. I am just having a horrible time with it last night and today. It is a painful mixture of: -sadness for things that I loved/hoped for when we were first together -regret for having lost myself, my body, my independence to this relationship -loss of how much I loved and trusted him sexually and really fearing that I'll never find that again -anger for how things ended and how replaced I felt once better things came along for him -guilt for somehow feeling like this was all my fault -bad for not calling him back I just don't know how to process this. Oddly enough, the only thing that is getting me through is that I also found memories from the relationships before this one at my mom's and could look at them without pain or anything... just another part of my past. So, I know this pain will pass too... but I'm just in a bad place today.
moo Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 sorry you are having a bad day. I hope it gets better.
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