andreww Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 its Saturday night and im home with nothing to do again.. all i got to do is drop one of my friends off at a 21st were my ex was. i didnt go inside nor did i see her. i feel so frustrated again because im stuck in a situation were there is nothing i can do were i have no control over any part. i really want to see my ex and just yell at her about what she has done to me and how she just gets off free no sadness at all everything works out for her. Because of her im home alone on a Saturday night. My close friends only seem to contact me when there's nothing better to do it really makes me feel worse about my self. why is it people seem to only do things to benifit them selfs? what a selfish race we are us humans. It would bring me great joy to see my ex in such a misrable state like i and most of you are in.
Soul Bear Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Get a bar job, that's what i did Go to the gym, move away, focus on YOU and maintain NC
Road To Joy Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 Ahh, I know the feeling and it sucks. It's like you're pissed but hurt at the same time. If the same thing happens to you that happened to me then your feelings of sadness will slowly fade away and it'll only be anger. Or at least mostly anger. I don't know what happens after that, since my ex broke NC and sent me back to square one. But hopefully something interesting will happen soon, even with my emotions. I've learned that I like it better when my moods actually change. I feel like I'm making progress in my recovery that way. When I feel mostly the same for sometime I get scared that I'm stuck. I've gone through what you're going through. It sucks, but it's normal which is a good thing. It means you're healing. Keep up the good work. Most importantly, be patient. Just make sure you follow the 'rules', and give it time. You'll get there, I promise. As impossible as it may seem now. You're not alone.
moo Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 My God, Road to Joy...I can't believe how much you've changed. Not that long ago you were talking about suicide. I'm sooooo proud of you. Keep healing. Andreww, sorry about your pain. I'm with you there. It hurts like a *&^&($&%.
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