Butterflying Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 I met this guy at work last week. We work at the same place, but for different companies. I'd never seen him before the day I met him last week. Anyway, he asked me out spontaneously for lunch the day we met. Both of us were leaving work. I accepted the invitation at met him at a diner nearby the office. As it turned out the guy, Kevin, was actually meeting his brother for lunch. I was slightly surprised to realize that I was a third wheel on the date. It was a little uncomfortable at first. But it got better after a few minutes. Both men were absolute gentlemen. Kevin's brother, Jacob didn't mind me being there. Technically the lunch was my first date with Kevin. But I didn't consider it a date since I didn't get to kow much about Kevin aside from the most important fact that he is "divorced" and not dating anyone exclusively. Kevin and I agreed to meet for our OFFICIAL first date last night. We selected a place in the city. When I greeted him, I shook his hand. He shook my hand with a frown on his face. We were having a drink at a bar waiting to be seated for dinner. Kevin asked me, "So what are you going to do with me tonight?" It was a strange question since we were already on our date. I assumed he was talking about "after dinner." When I asked for clarification Kevin admitted that he wasn't really hungry. In fact, he didn't like being in crowded places. He wanted to spend time with me alone. When I disagreed with the time alone, Kevin told me that I had offended him. He said I was "insecure." Then he used the fact that I didn't hug him at the begining of our date as an example of my "being too defensive." Kevin's disappointing rant about me went on for a few minutes until his cell phone rang. He said it was his job and he had to leave. The date ended before dinner arrived. I was left feeling rejected. Was I wrong for not hugging Kevin at the begining of our date? I'm not generally an affecionate person especially with strangers. But I would hate to think that not hugging a man will cause him to run away from me on the first date. At what point (other than the obvious when I feel comfortable) should I hug a man I'm dating?
utterer of lies Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 I met this guy at work last week. We work at the same place, but for different companies. I'd never seen him before the day I met him last week. Anyway, he asked me out spontaneously for lunch the day we met. Both of us were leaving work. I accepted the invitation at met him at a diner nearby the office. As it turned out the guy, Kevin, was actually meeting his brother for lunch. I was slightly surprised to realize that I was a third wheel on the date. It was a little uncomfortable at first. But it got better after a few minutes. Both men were absolute gentlemen. Kevin's brother, Jacob didn't mind me being there. Technically the lunch was my first date with Kevin. But I didn't consider it a date since I didn't get to kow much about Kevin aside from the most important fact that he is "divorced" and not dating anyone exclusively. Kevin and I agreed to meet for our OFFICIAL first date last night. We selected a place in the city. When I greeted him, I shook his hand. He shook my hand with a frown on his face. We were having a drink at a bar waiting to be seated for dinner. Kevin asked me, "So what are you going to do with me tonight?" It was a strange question since we were already on our date. I assumed he was talking about "after dinner." When I asked for clarification Kevin admitted that he wasn't really hungry. In fact, he didn't like being in crowded places. He wanted to spend time with me alone. When I disagreed with the time alone, Kevin told me that I had offended him. He said I was "insecure." Then he used the fact that I didn't hug him at the begining of our date as an example of my "being too defensive." Kevin's disappointing rant about me went on for a few minutes until his cell phone rang. He said it was his job and he had to leave. The date ended before dinner arrived. I was left feeling rejected. Was I wrong for not hugging Kevin at the begining of our date? I'm not generally an affecionate person especially with strangers. But I would hate to think that not hugging a man will cause him to run away from me on the first date. At what point (other than the obvious when I feel comfortable) should I hug a man I'm dating? Do what feels right to you. It obviously didn't feel right to you, so you didn't do anything wrong.
boogieboy Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 You did nothing wrong, he was looking for you to show him more affection, he is probably used to women showing him alot of affection quickly. But then he was crazy to keep pointing out his beefs with you, hes too negative. You dodged a bullet.
Eclypse Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 I agree with Boogie. Kevin sounds like a jerk, and a player. I think he was expecting you to put out on the first date. Don't take that crap from any guy! You dodged a bullet with this one.
Lucky_One Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Not a nice guy. A man who asks you to dinner and tells you before it arrives that he really just wanted to "spend time alone with you" (a nice euphemism for sex) is a guy who is telling you what his relationship priorities are. Bet his phone call was manufactured. I can see a doctor on call having to leave a date like that, or the IT guy for NYC electrical department during a blackout, but not most guys have to leave on a moment's notice like that.
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