confusedcookie Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 me and my ex, dragged out the end of our relationship... and even i few days ago, i asked for advice to make it work... first half of our relationship, after a fight, he would always call me back, no buts, and last half, he never called me after a fight, i did... we had a medium sized fight during the last day he was going to leave my country and go back to china forever. i gave him plenty of chances, and even called him to say, " do you have anything to say to me" and he said no everytime. i asked him what he thought the best option was and he said time (excuse)... time for me to mature and grow as a person... and i said okay he didn't call after he landed and he knew i didn't have his china phone number ( i did have it though) i texted him " hope you have a nice flight" "so this is it? we can't make this work or do you think time is still the best choice?" he never replied back... so i lost my dignity, i called him... long distance calling, i thought it didn't go through, but he actually intentionally didn't pick up. i called again... he seemed scared to talk to me, like he couldn't deal with me. we had a talk, he basically put the blame all on me (i'll spare you the details of all our arguments... it is quite lengthy, but you can check my previous posts for a selected few, lol) he said that i was selfish, immature, and that i never considered other ppl's feelings, unappreciative, and that i wanted the whole world to revolve around me. he made me feel so bad about myself, like i was in the wrong entirely. i admit, i've done some unreasonable things, but he has too... then i lost my dignity even more... i told him i would change everything for him... i was willing to change for him... he said he had to think about it.... i asked him if he thought that time apart was the best option, he said yes. i asked if he still loved me, and he said he didn't know (just 2 days ago, he was talking about a future). i still begged for him, saying i needed him, couldn't let go... he said not to push him, or else he'll say no, he needed time to think... he said he needed to go, very busy... and i said okay, will you call me at night, and he goes, " i thought we already had a talk" and seemed like he didn't want to do it i also asked him if he could talk with me everyday and he said that it was too expensive (he use to phone me and talk 1-2 hours everyday... and he said 3 days ago he would phone every night... he said, how about msn about once a week instead. CAN YOU SEE HOW STUPID I WAS? he didn't want me anymore, and i still threw myself at him??? i was so stupid... i didn't understand until i went out for coffee with my gf who went with a guy that was in the same culture as my ex, it was family situations that broke us up as with hers too. she made me realize that it wasn't my fault, that it was stupid to be pinning over him. (i had the mentality that i would never find someone better)... it was a 3 hour conversation, and the best 3 hours spent... it was like a light bulb turned on in my head!!!! he was an *******, he made me feel bad about myself and my self worth! i couldn't let go and i dragged this relationship 8 months longer (1 year 8 months total) than it should had. just wanted to share my new revelation =) i hope everybody will have that light bulb turn on too!
moo Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 I lost my dignity so many times it's not funny. I'm trying to get it back by going NC again. Today was the first day back on NC. I want to do better for me. I am embarassed some, but mostly I don't give a s**t about what he thinks of me.
Athena Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 it was like a light bulb turned on in my head!!!! he was an *******, he made me feel bad about myself and my self worth! i couldn't let go and i dragged this relationship 8 months longer (1 year 8 months total) than it should had. just wanted to share my new revelation =) i hope everybody will have that light bulb turn on too! Glad to hear this. You have managed to 'release' yourself!
Recommended Posts