bluewolf17 Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 I just got another text from my ex telling me to have a great trip in Europe. It's a nice enought thing to do, but it just makes me feel so sad. I got two from him the other night asking if I had left yet, and then another about brining him back a rasberry beret (Prince Joke). I know it's stupid but you can't help but be happy that they are at least thinking of you. As sad and bare minimum as that is. I haven't responded to any text's, and knowing him he understands that. It's still NC if I don't respond right?! The 20 days of NC (22 days as of today) was really good. I was happy to not think that a missed call was from him, or a text was. But now that there are texts from him, I guess I have been looking at the phone more. I don't want to. I liked it the way it was. No contact. I am hoping this is the last little contact from him. He has no idea when I get back so.. That's all. Just frustrating. It's so weird how you want them to be gone forevor, or give you everything. And I'm not getting either currenlty. How can he be texting me if he's dead? Bluewolf17
Jimmy's_Brother Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 Tell him to stop contacting you. If you haven't done that yet, then getting messages from him is as much YOUR fault as it is his for bothering you. Take some responsibility for your happiness and stop allowing him to control it.
Soul Bear Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 NO!! Dont tell him to stop. Just continue YOUR NC. I know you can do it Blue. Come one, he deserves this after stringing you for so long. LET HIM WORRY!! Let it eat away at him. I know it makes you sad, but it also make you feel good too! Im the same, hence why i choose to just remain NC.... It's so weird how you want them to be gone forevor, or give you everything. for sure!
nanana Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Hi Bluewolf, I'm only a new member but I've been reading this forum for months and hugely relate to your situation. My ex also led me to think there was a chance of reconciliation and eventually I had to tell him to stop contacting me. BUT HE ISN'T LISTENING!. He's tried calling the past 3 days... do you think I should just ignore him? I was really hoping we'd get back together, I don't know why he's so persistent considering he admitted he still doesn't want me. Sigh.
CaliGuy Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 I have an ex that likes to make occasional contact. She does it indirectly now (vs directly). I just ignore it. To me it's more "annoying" than anything else.
Road To Joy Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 It's still NC if I don't respond right?! I really do NOT recommend this. I still consider it contact. NC was meant to completely eliminate your ex from your life. Getting texts and emails and phone calls or whatever from him keeps your mind thinking about him. I know it's nice to get attention, and it might even help your self esteem for sometime. But it gets to a point (I think you've reached, btw), where it just upsets you. 'Cause that's when it has sunk in that it's OVER and them contacting you (even if you miss them), hurts. It's a constant reminder of what has happened, and that it's all over and never coming back. It hurts and it will keep hurting until you're over them and moved. It doesn't matter if you're not answering them. I mean, don't get me wrong it's good that you're not replying. It gives THEM the message you WANT them to get (that you don't care) but for your own good, it shouldn't be done. The more you read stuff about them (that includes stuff they send you), or hear about them, the longer they'll stay on your mind and that's the last thing you want while you're trying to heal as fast as possible. I learned this the hard way. -____- The hardest thing to do is TELLING them to stop contacting you in any way, but by not doing that you're somehow expecting them to contact you, and that keeps you lingering. I have a hard time initiating stuff like this, but I can no longer hold on to my ex. I know by telling her to stop, I will no longer hold on, as bad as it hurts.
joerhp Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 I really do NOT recommend this. I still consider it contact. NC was meant to completely eliminate your ex from your life. Getting texts and emails and phone calls or whatever from him keeps your mind thinking about him. I know it's nice to get attention, and it might even help your self esteem for sometime. But it gets to a point (I think you've reached, btw), where it just upsets you. 'Cause that's when it has sunk in that it's OVER and them contacting you (even if you miss them), hurts. It's a constant reminder of what has happened, and that it's all over and never coming back. It hurts and it will keep hurting until you're over them and moved. It doesn't matter if you're not answering them. I mean, don't get me wrong it's good that you're not replying. It gives THEM the message you WANT them to get (that you don't care) but for your own good, it shouldn't be done. The more you read stuff about them (that includes stuff they send you), or hear about them, the longer they'll stay on your mind and that's the last thing you want while you're trying to heal as fast as possible. I learned this the hard way. -____- The hardest thing to do is TELLING them to stop contacting you in any way, but by not doing that you're somehow expecting them to contact you, and that keeps you lingering. I have a hard time initiating stuff like this, but I can no longer hold on to my ex. I know by telling her to stop, I will no longer hold on, as bad as it hurts. you cant control anothers behavior. if you tell an ex to stop contacting you there is never a guarantee they wont. not responding is best i think, if you tell them to stop contacting you they may reply back, initiating a conversation, it empowers you to know you have the upper hand. keep with it, dont respond back, at least until you are ready to do so and it becomes an annoyance not something that causes you distress It's so weird how you want them to be gone forevor, or give you everything -that is one of the best quotes ive read in a long time by the way
Author bluewolf17 Posted August 16, 2009 Author Posted August 16, 2009 Hi all. Thank you for replying. I had told him that we shouldn't contact eachother anymore. I knew he understood. That was 5 weeks ago. I didn't hear from him up till 3 weeks NC..then those text's came. On August 1st I left for Europe with a friend. I just got back (and it was amazing..so good for me). I had blocked him from my email, but I can't block him from my work email. My co-worker (and friend) told me he emailed me at work (she moniters my emails while I am away). He sent three emails to my work...he knows I am gone and yet send them to my work..probably because my email was blocked. Anyways- the first was was short..just saying he hopes I am having a great trip, and then he asked if I would want to hang out when I got back, but would understand if I didn't want to. I didn't reply. I got a second one a few days later saying telling me he hopes I am safe, that he is really proud of me for doing somthing I have always wanted to do. And that if I need anything (like my plants watered) he can do that. The third one said that (again) he hopes I am having a great time..and don't worry about finding him a great souviner. Then he said he would love to look at all my pictures when I get back, and that he hopes we can talk soon. I still haven't replied. I know he knows I got back yesterday. I haven't gotten anything since, but I am sure I will. I told my co-worker from now on not to forward me, or tell me anything..it didn't ruin my vacation but it could have. I am still maintaing NC..but I know Trial by Fire would say that I am keeping contact by reading the emails...it's REALLY HARD NOT to. And it's very confusing. i look for meaning that I don't think is there. And Soulbear is right..it is awarding to just ignore them. They either or going to get more personal and give me more info into what he wants...or they will slow down..either is okay.
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