caramel c Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 What kind of a question is this? This question is often asked in the very early stages of getting to know somebody, sometimes even during the very first conversation. Perhaps the guys who ask mean it as a compliment, but really I can't help but to take it as a backhanded one. What kind of an answer do they expect? Would they like a full report of my dating history? Would they like a list of my mental illnesses? Or are they really so amazed that somebody soooo special like me (who they don't know yet) is really single? Your thoughts, please.
carhill Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 Do guys really ask that question? Color me old and clueless. IMO, that's the most stupid and inept question to ask any woman you have hopes of an intimate relationship with. If I'm going to ask you something stupid (and clearly don't wish to see the woman again) it would be something like have you ever been skydiving before? Watched gladiator movies? Been in men's locker room? Seen a grown man naked? You get the drift When you get asked the next time, smile coyly and deadpan "Well, honey, I've been waiting my whole life for you."
Author caramel c Posted July 31, 2009 Author Posted July 31, 2009 Do guys really ask that question? Color me old and clueless. IMO, that's the most stupid and inept question to ask any woman you have hopes of an intimate relationship with. If I'm going to ask you something stupid (and clearly don't wish to see the woman again) it would be something like have you ever been skydiving before? Watched gladiator movies? Been in men's locker room? Seen a grown man naked? You get the drift When you get asked the next time, smile coyly and deadpan "Well, honey, I've been waiting my whole life for you." Yes, they do, all the time. Maybe they mean well, but I just don't think they think about how that comes across. lol, I should probably come up with some clever lines to say back.
tinktronik Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 Yes, they do, all the time. Maybe they mean well, but I just don't think they think about how that comes across. lol, I should probably come up with some clever lines to say back. I would prepare a list in advance.
New Again Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 That happens to me all the time. I can't think of a time that I didn't take it as a flirty yet serious question. Because of it's place in the conversation I've always taken it as the guy's way of asking about previous relationships - usually the key thing they wanna know is how long ago my last R was and why it ended. I LOVE Carhill's retort to that question, I'm definitely going to use it next time I'm single.
You'reasian Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 I LOVE Carhill's retort to that question, I'm definitely going to use it next time I'm single. If you say that, your chances of being kissed increase by 1,000%....lol
EddieN Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Do guys really ask that question? Color me old and clueless. IMO, that's the most stupid and inept question to ask any woman you have hopes of an intimate relationship with. If I'm going to ask you something stupid (and clearly don't wish to see the woman again) it would be something like have you ever been skydiving before? Watched gladiator movies? Been in men's locker room? Seen a grown man naked? You get the drift When you get asked the next time, smile coyly and deadpan "Well, honey, I've been waiting my whole life for you." Carhill, you always prove to be a philosopher as well as a romantic. I wouldn't ask that question. There's nothing you can get out of it and there's no good answer.
Touche Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Why don't I have a boyfriend? Because my husband won't let me.
OpenBook Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Yes it is a rather feckless and lame question. But it's normally harmless and I believe it IS meant as a compliment. Usually the guy is genuinely puzzled... he admires you and wonders what the catch is. He can't believe his own good fortune in meeting you. That kind of thing. I'd cut him some slack on this one.
Author caramel c Posted August 1, 2009 Author Posted August 1, 2009 Yes it is a rather feckless and lame question. But it's normally harmless and I believe it IS meant as a compliment. Usually the guy is genuinely puzzled... he admires you and wonders what the catch is. He can't believe his own good fortune in meeting you. That kind of thing. I'd cut him some slack on this one. Alright alright. I just wish they would think first. I'll cut THEM some slack, there are so many guys who ask this...
boogieboy Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Alright alright. I just wish they would think first. I'll cut THEM some slack, there are so many guys who ask this... Well from the other looks rating thread Caramel, you rated yourself pretty high. So I only imagine that if you look that good, you fluster them with beauty in the first place, thats why they dont think. That and no one likes to think theres a bad reason for pretty women to be single. So you really should cut them some slack. If most of them are asking you this, then get used to it. I imagine this is the way it will be for the rest of your life.
JohnnyBlaze Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Alright alright. I just wish they would think first. I'll cut THEM some slack, there are so many guys who ask this... The ones who ask that do think. They just don't think what you think they're thinking. You think they're thinking "gee, I'd like to say something nice to this very pretty girl." What they're really thinking is "if she's single, there must be a reason. If I say something sly and original like 'gee, I'm surprised you don't have a boyfriend', then maybe she'll tell me why she's single and I can find out what kind of guy she's looking for; hopefully, it's a guy like me." Crafty little buggers, ain't we?
Author caramel c Posted August 1, 2009 Author Posted August 1, 2009 I will take your word for it guys! I guess its just a compliment. I'll try to take it as one from now on. Thank you.
Keoki Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Why don't I have a boyfriend? Because my husband won't let me. My BF won't let me have another one either!
Citizen Drawn Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 "Because I keep meeting men that ask stupid questions" I mean jeez, what a stupid question, deserves a stupid answer...
Citizen Drawn Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Why don't I have a boyfriend? Because my husband won't let me. I think this is a sign of a serious problem in your relationship...
Author caramel c Posted August 1, 2009 Author Posted August 1, 2009 "Because I keep meeting men that ask stupid questions" I mean jeez, what a stupid question, deserves a stupid answer... Thank you for gracing us with your intelligence.
Citizen Drawn Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Thank you for gracing us with your intelligence. Erm, do you have a reason to be rude to me or is it just in your nature? Asking someone why they're single is a stupid question period, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to work it out.
Ariadne Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 I should probably come up with some clever lines to say back. I haven't met the right peson yet.
Ariadne Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Why don't I have a boyfriend? Because my husband won't let me. Because I'm waiting for Denver guy.
Touche Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Because I'm waiting for Denver guy. ..............................
Citizen Erased Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Because I'm waiting for Matt Bellamy to discover I'm the perfect person for him? Because I'm a headcase and I'm attracted only to people I can't have because the heartache is far more interesting to me? So I don't go to hell for having sex out of wedlock? Because anyone I date has to like my cat and he's so nasty it's a wonder even I like him...but that ties into the second reason.
Citizen Drawn Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Aside from the point that it's a stupid question and the kidding about the funny retorts I think your question needs to be looked at more in depth. On a serious note, the key to this is the fact you interpret as a back handed compliment - listen to your gut. I'd bet my bottom dollar you're getting asked this question a lot because you're one of these people that comes across as thinking you're too good to be true. Since you openly rate yourself as a 9/10 the first impression you probably make on a date is "I'm really all that now what have YOU got to impress me?". The poor guys that have wasted an hour of their lives just to witness this can't really do much apart from have a good laugh at your expense, otherwise they'd end up slitting their wrists from contemplating what could possibly lead you to become so detached from reality. The hidden meaning in the question is "well if you really ARE all that how come no-one wants to touch you with a bargepole?". Since your gut is telling you this is what's being said by several people I would listen to it and start asking why no-one wants to touch you with a bargepole.
Author caramel c Posted August 1, 2009 Author Posted August 1, 2009 Erm, do you have a reason to be rude to me or is it just in your nature? Asking someone why they're single is a stupid question period, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to work it out. All apologies. I think I misunderstood what you said to mean that my original question in this thread was the stupid one.
Author caramel c Posted August 1, 2009 Author Posted August 1, 2009 Aside from the point that it's a stupid question and the kidding about the funny retorts I think your question needs to be looked at more in depth. On a serious note, the key to this is the fact you interpret as a back handed compliment - listen to your gut. I'd bet my bottom dollar you're getting asked this question a lot because you're one of these people that comes across as thinking you're too good to be true. Since you openly rate yourself as a 9/10 the first impression you probably make on a date is "I'm really all that now what have YOU got to impress me?". The poor guys that have wasted an hour of their lives just to witness this can't really do much apart from have a good laugh at your expense, otherwise they'd end up slitting their wrists from contemplating what could possibly lead you to become so detached from reality. The hidden meaning in the question is "well if you really ARE all that how come no-one wants to touch you with a bargepole?". Since your gut is telling you this is what's being said by several people I would listen to it and start asking why no-one wants to touch you with a bargepole. This is a possibility. I will take this into consideration, thank you.
Recommended Posts