Jdw_Icequeen Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 I met this guy on a chat line, I was just looking for friends. He was really nice and we would talk everyday or every other day for hours at a time, somtimes twice a day. Mostly just have fun make jokes together have a good laugh. We met the 4th of July. I didn't realize we would be so attracted to eachother. We eneded up sleeping together. 3 days later he was going out of town and came over again and again we slept together. We continue to talk and have fun. We both mentioned having strong feelings for eachother after the second time. I mentioned to him I wanted to get to know him better with out the "sleeping together" situation. He came over one night and just stayed the night we cuddled all night. He was very affectionate. Then a weekend came up where I wanted to get out of the house. He hasn't once asked me out. So I say I want to get out of the house and I have mentioned getting to know eachother better, I also say this weekend is good for me. We make plans for that saturday and we go out to the mountains. It was nice. He was also going to stay the night but things came up and he was unable too. That was fine. A few days later he came over "again slept together". We both have alot on our plate at the moment and get pretty busy with things. He still calls everyday or every other day. I am starting to feel like more of a booty call then someone he wants to get to know. I am always the one asking him to come over. Making plans. My instincts say don't push things go with the flow. I was thinking maybe I shouldn't invite him over anymore wait until I start getting offers from him. We discussed he relationship and that things evolved pretty rapidly. For 2 months we never met just spoke on the phone. Next thing its a sleeping together situation. Then were discussing feelings and then we go on our first date. Yes its all pretty @ss backwards. So we both talked about taking things slower. To me that means not sleeping together but getting to know eachother more and hanging out together. So what do I do? Do I take things slow see where they end up. Not ask him to come over wait for invitations. I am ready to start backing off of this guy but willing to still go with the flow. Actions speak louder then words though, if he has no interest in hanging out and getting to know me, then this isn't the guy for me. I am not yet ready to bring it up but I amgetting close. I think a guy should want to take you out and get to know you to show real interest. I just don't know if I am jumping the gun. We have known eachother 3 months almost but just met on the 4th of July. Ok so sorry this ended up being so long. Any advice??? Getting a bit confused here..
SoulSearch_CO Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 I think a guy should want to take you out and get to know you to show real interest. I just don't know if I am jumping the gun. We have known eachother 3 months almost but just met on the 4th of July. You've slept with the guy at least 3 times (if I'm reading correctly) and you're NOT SURE IF YOU'RE JUMPING THE GUN? Are you being serious? i agree that if he was interested in more than just booty, he'd take you out on his own invitation. No, I don't think you're jumping the freaking gun. Back off this guy and let him make the next move. If it's, "Can I come over?" Tell him you'd like to go OUT somewhere nice together.
Author Jdw_Icequeen Posted July 31, 2009 Author Posted July 31, 2009 I have been talking to this guy for 3 months over that time we had got to know eachother well we just hadn't met. I should have also clarified he is "always" very affectionate towards me holding my hand and such even when we went out on our "date" even when he knows he isn't getting any. I am getting mixed signals.. Anyway ty! I completley agree that if he dosen't make an effort to want to hang out with me and get to know me I don't want anything to do with him. So I will be backing off. How much should I back off? We were just friends. Is continuing a friendship even worth it at this point. Should I atleast still call him? As for asking to go somewhere nice I don't want to look like a gold digger or somthing.. I'm not, AND I AM NOT A SLUT!! I have been with a total of 4 men in my whole life. Btw the topic was suppose to read any ADVICE is appriciated.. LOL
New Again Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 Sorry...you can qualify it all you want, but you're still just a FWB.
New Again Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 How much should I back off? We were just friends. Is continuing a friendship even worth it at this point. Should I atleast still call him? Back ALL the way off. You have established a FWB relationship, AND you want more from him AND he very clearly is interested in nothing more, so I don't really see the point in "remaining friends." You will always be hoping he'll become interested (and misread his "mixed" signals), and he will always be trying to get in your pants (hence his "mixed" signals).
SoulSearch_CO Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 As for asking to go somewhere nice I don't want to look like a gold digger or somthing.. I'm not, AND I AM NOT A SLUT!! I have been with a total of 4 men in my whole life. Wow. LOL I guess this is what happens when people live in completely different culture-types within the same country. I live in western Colorado. Cowboy country. "Somewhere nice" could just as easily be the local steakhouse where the total bill wouldn't be more than 40 bucks. LOL And I don't think you're a slut. If you're a slut, I'm a slut. I've done stupid things with guys when it comes to sex. I don't even want to talk about it. But I definitely don't think it makes me (OR YOU) a slut!
Author Jdw_Icequeen Posted August 1, 2009 Author Posted August 1, 2009 Ty soulsearch.. I didn't want to come off as a flaky slut lol. Yes I agree, somewhere nice dosen't have to be pricey. Just anywhere would be good. He still calls almost everyday. Honestly when we started this little thing I told him i didn't want a relationship and he does. There is alot of other little things involved. I was ok with FWB situation, I guess at first lol. Then those stupid emotions get involved which we both have discussed we have feelings for eachother. I completley agree he needs to make more of an effort. I at the same time saying I didn't want a relationship, so I was scared of shattering that and moving forward. I didn't want to come off to needy or pushy. I also know now that I want more I can't settle for anything less. If he wants to remain friends there will no longer be benefits. I just can't roll like that lol. Thank you all for your advice..
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