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Guy who i met on pof and been with 5 months has active profile-what do i say?

enchanted771

By enchanted771
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enchanted771 Established Member

enchanted771

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He knows i am not dating other men, so its not ok for me. Can i confront in a nice way? it explains the distant dimeanor and excuses and ignored texts and calls!

Quos New Member

Quos

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Honestly, if he is not interested in you enough to get off the site and act excited about you 5 months in, I don't see how talking to him will help anything. It's worth a talk, but I think maybe you should get back out there and see what else YOU can find. It sounds like this guy is a waste of time.

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enchanted771 Established Member

enchanted771

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I just want him to come clean with me you know and be honest. Instead of every time i ask him something he starts this entire sob story and acting like he is sooooooo frustrated that he cant see me when he wants to. I just see red flags, but i want to make sure i am not imagining it you know? first, we used to hang out on weekends, when summer hit, he came over one weekend and the rest of the time he had these wild excuses. I saw him last week, and i questioned him when he wanted to go to the bathroom to use the phone. He got all defensive and used the phone. It wasnt even a bad convo. So after that he became distant, not texting as much (he used to every night) then he insisted that he didnt mean to be distant and was sorry i felt bad bla bla bla. Is he full of it????

Quos New Member

Quos

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Talk is easy. Guys (or girls) can go on and on with whatever lies strike their fancy, but none of it means anything unless it's accompanied by real actions. Most of us learn this the hard way. There is no reason why you should be with someone who is acting this way towards you.

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enchanted771 Established Member

enchanted771

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Talk is easy. Guys (or girls) can go on and on with whatever lies strike their fancy, but none of it means anything unless it's accompanied by real actions. Most of us learn this the hard way. There is no reason why you should be with someone who is acting this way towards you.

 

I know, but i just want him to acknowledge it. Just text me and say yes, i am talking to other women sorry. But to just ignore it??? thats just wrong!

steveraves Established Member

steveraves

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He knows i am not dating other men, so its not ok for me. Can i confront in a nice way? it explains the distant dimeanor and excuses and ignored texts and calls!

 

I don't think it necessarily means anything that he hasn't cancelled his profile on POF, and I don't think there's anything wrong with you just bringing up the subject.

 

I'm the kind of guy that would do the same thing, not to be sneaky or to cheat just because I wouldn't make it a priority and probably a bit lazy. I guess it's one of those things I'd mean to do and just keep putting off. If the girl I was seeing brought up the subject I certainly wouldn't be uncomfortable or be offended and at that time would have no problem cancelling the profile to make her feel at ease.

 

So I guess my advice is just bring it up. If the subject makes him uncomfortable or he seems to get defensive about it then I'd be a bit concerned.

Athena Established Member

Athena

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I know, but i just want him to acknowledge it. Just text me and say yes, i am talking to other women sorry. But to just ignore it??? thats just wrong!

 

Well, he's not going to acknowledge it. Even in you are right about the common decency and dating etiquette, he clearly will have none of it. You cannot force someone to behave the way you would like... you want him to admit something, however he is incapable of it, so just take his Actions as your answer...

 

Do not ignore those Red Flags... cut your losses and drop his a$$.

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enchanted771 Established Member

enchanted771

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He just answered " where is this coming from" I am guessing he is trying to buy time.

Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

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You create a phony believable profile and contact him...

 

Drag it out.. eff with him some talking about how hot he is and stuff like that and then ask him to meet... then show up :laugh:

 

5 months.. damn.. it sounds exclusive.. seriously you need to have it out over the profile.. gauge his reaction to whether or not he is still looking.

Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

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The two of you have been dating for 5 months, exclusive for 2 months. His dating profile should be down. There's no reason why anyone needs an account open on a dating site, while in an exclusive relationship.

 

I'd follow A_C's advice, creating a fake profile, etc. If he's cheating on you, you'll find out fast. Even if he's only using women for external validation by flirting and getting his ego stroked, it's bad news, while on a dating site.

WineCountry Established Member

WineCountry

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Oh goodness you dont even need to do all that fake profile mess. You know darn well he is not that into you. He IS telling you that in his own way, but you just want to hear it to your face. Unfortunately, a lot of people dont have the balls to do it that way.

 

He-is-not-into-you.

 

Just cut your losses and keep looking.

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enchanted771 Established Member

enchanted771

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Then why not answer a simple yes, and get it over with? why ask where its coming from when he knows perfectly well where.

WineCountry Established Member

WineCountry

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Then why not answer a simple yes, and get it over with? why ask where its coming from when he knows perfectly well where.

 

Because that's what people like that DO, enchanted. They put stuff off on YOU, like something is wrong with YOU. It's a common thing.

 

He is just a bulls**ter. But, if you dont want to believe it, just keep chasing after him. Im willing to bet this ends up no where. Sorry.

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enchanted771 Established Member

enchanted771

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Yeah, i know he is full of it. At least if that is what he wanted, then tell me so i can too. But no, he wanted me to himself, treated me like a real gf too.

free2bme4u Member

free2bme4u

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Used this myself (the fake profile to find out if he'd respond) and it worked perfectly. You find out the true character of a person that way. When you show up he will feel like a sleezebag--rightly so. This guy is full of sh$t.

zicke Established Member

zicke

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Yeah, i know he is full of it. At least if that is what he wanted, then tell me so i can too. But no, he wanted me to himself, treated me like a real gf too.

 

He's not giving you an answer cos he doesn't want to cut off his supply of free booty. Because, I can guarantee one thing, you are still having sex with him everytime you see him. No weekends=DATING OTHER WOMEN.

 

He will NOT tell you verbally, but his actions are screaming it. POF is full of players. Heck, most online dating is full of players. I don't waste my time anymore.

 

You have two choices, see the light and end it, or continue being the backburner booty girl who is on call for blow jobs whenever he deems you worthy of it.

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