fiser360 Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 We dated for 3 years. And it's been about 4 weeks since the break-up and she has been with her new boyfriend for about 3 weeks. Im feeling worse now than right after the break up. I still want her back more than anything. But I feel as if my chances are getting slimmer and slimmer. I don't know how to come about the patience to just wait her and her new boyfriends relationship out. I'm okay for a couple of days, she calls to see how Im doing. Im okay for another day or so, and then I break down again. I just want to know how to at least start to move on, so she doesn't think Im dwelling and being needy. Im not contacting her at all, but we work together so it is kind of difficult. I want to just have the mindset to be positive and look toward the future and know that soon she will be with me again. Any ideas anyone? Thanks for the help..
Thomas X Forever Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 You're most likely feeling worse for 3 reasons. 1). Because since she keeps contacting you off and on, you are still holding out hope 2). Since she is contacting you, it confuses your mind because deep down it may WANT to heal, but knows it CAN'T as long as this continues. 3). Because you are just now really understanding the loss. It has hit you finally. If you are a gambling man, I'd bet NC will fix most problems. Don't answer her calls. Nor Txts. Nothing.
Beeotch Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 To be frank: if my ex had left me and had a new gf there is NO WAY I would ever have any hope of getting back together and that would actually help me to shut him out of my life for good! So in all honestly, I CANNOT really understand how someone can still want someone who not even a month after their 3 yr relationship is with someone else. But everyone's different I guess. I am gonna be blunt as I would be with any of my friends and as I would want someone to be with me: it is pathetic to try to wait out her new relationship and sit idly by thinking she will come back to you. That is not something you want to do and that surely won't make her want you. You do not want to build yourself up for disappointment. This woman not a month later has a new man..that says ALOT! You cannot turn your feelings off as most of us on these forums know...you might want to hate them but can't and you can be honest in saying you want them to come back...but you HAVE TO make a pact with yourself to do the constructive thing for yourself. The reality is this: she may never come back. With that being said...it is MUCH better to tell yourself this over and over, and give yourself closure. Move on and slowly but SURELY once you accept this, your life will start getting better and the pain lesser. If she comes back to you in the future...then so be it. But in the mean time while she has a new man....MOVE ON!
moo Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 I'm right there with ya. It's nearly the same for me except in my case, except it was less than a week and it was an argument when he left, not an official break up. I now the pain and I am sorry you are hurting so badly. I know nothing I say can take the pain away. It does get better with NC until you break NC.
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