pie_eater Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 You can find out more about my situation here, but long story short: girl broke up with me after 3.5 years together. I think she handled the break-up very poorly and she immediately jumped into a physical relationship with our neighbor who I had known 5 years (prior to meeting her and before she and I moved into the building). She had been spending a lot of time with him at the end of our relationship. So, there is a mutual female friend who had the unfortunate experience of being in the middle and having to hear about all of the emotions from both sides. She was the first to find out about the relationship with the neighbor (who she knows as well) but she didn't tell me and we haven't been in contact since around the time I found out about 6 weeks ago. She chatted with me the other day and said that she misses me and wants to hang out. I said sure. The problem is that I think there will be an elephant in the room when we hang out. If she is still hanging out with the two of them, it's an issue for me. I don't want to make anyone take sides, but I don't want to be friends with someone that condones the ex's and the neighbor's behavior and doesn't take a stand for her other friend (me). I know that she was in the difficult situation of hearing things in confidence from both sides and wanting to support both sides, but I resent how political she was. I don't know if that's fair or not. Im not sure what to do here.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 Does this mutual friend look good? If so, get with her. If she ISN'T good looking, then my God, tell her to go away. Your resentment towards her overly political and monitored moves in order to please all parties, is BS and you are justified in anger. In summary: If she looks good, get with her and stay with her. If she looks bad, get the hell away from her.
northstar1 Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 Does this mutual friend look good? If so, get with her. If she ISN'T good looking, then my God, tell her to go away. Your resentment towards her overly political and monitored moves in order to please all parties, is BS and you are justified in anger. In summary: If she looks good, get with her and stay with her. If she looks bad, get the hell away from her. At what point did your advice fall off the rails these days?
New_life Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 pie, this is soo close to home for me... Us 3 used to hang out like family everyday for 4 years... My mutual friend had a car accident, and is now at least alive, however with lack of sensibility in his legs. Imagine him, he is in the middle.. So I told him it was not fair for him and I wouldnt make him pick. I just asked him to never talk about her in any way, and if she was there when I come to visit to tell me before, cause I dont want to see her. He totally understands, we never talk about her, however sometimes he does see me sad and just helps me like the good friend he is. Dont put your mutual friend in the middle, just be the same, and tell her not to talk about your ex.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 At what point did your advice fall off the rails these days? Lmao. I wish I could ask you the same, but all I've EVER seen you post is things like threesomes, and girls looks. What's wrong with getting with the mutual friend? His ex screwed him over, so why not screw her back with the friend (if the friend looks good)? Exactly
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