brock9911 Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 today sux. its dark gloomy and pooring out by me. not a good mornign to wake up to. to make things worse, iv been thinking about my ex more this week than when we first broke up. in the beginning i had the f*ck you mentallity. i went out, partied, got drunk, hooked up and did what made me happy and numbed the pain. now, i still drink but im cutting back and im reallizing the grim reallity. there were 2 girls i was talking to. trying to get to know each other thing. one is in europe and we talk or email just about every day. than it got to the point of lecturing and nagging, which i am not ready for so i cut her off. and the other one shows interest but is playing the hard to get game, and i dont have time for that *****. now that i dont have those little distractions to keep me satisfied, guess who's in my head. as im driving to work i see her aunt who lived with us. yeah while its pooring and i already feel like *****. way to go fate. i keep checking her myspace which is still all about us. pictures and stating shes in a relationship with me. ugh she did the break up, at least act like it. what a *****ty day
Peanut9330 Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 Well if its one thing I learned form the advice that you have been giving me is to stay positive and keep yourself busy, but also talk about it as much as you can cuz that really helps too. The more I talk about it the better I end up feeling, and beleive me I understand I have my days as well but when that happens I just try to focus and tell myself that I deserve better cuz he really fu**ed me over and the void goes away. Just have to take it one step at a time and eventually it will get better, I know easeier said then done i'm going through the same thing right now and the weekend is here and I wonder how i'm going to handle it, but I will try to stay positive and not let it bring me down I dont see why I should be suffering I just try to keep that mental note and take it one day at a time. And if u need to talk i'm here u can always vent I understand what your feeling.
Author brock9911 Posted July 31, 2009 Author Posted July 31, 2009 thanx. i know ur right and i know how to give advice i just cant take my own. i was always able to talk to someone and help their problems, but never able to deal with my own in a sensable manor. the weekend thing, i suggest you try to make plans in advance. make plans to do something that will occupy the weekend. so far this summer iv made myself pretty busy. iv been to pennsylvania twice. manhattan once. next weekend is boston which is already booked. after that i have my sisters grad party. than the weekend after that is supposed to be a chicago trip to see pearl jam. than vegas on labor day weekend. so its nice to have something to look foward to. it keeps a positive outlook on things. just this week happens to be a particular hard one. with my ex's bday passing and our 8 year anniversary would be coming up. lots of **** on my mind
Peanut9330 Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 Wow your really keeping yourself busy but unfortunately because of my job and college I cant make plans that far ahead I'm going to a bachelorette party on Saturday, we rented a club downtown that should be fun and keep my mind busy but lol its so stupid that he's the one the screwed me over and I have to be the one to keep my mind busy, its interesting how the mind works but i'm glad that your keeping yourself so busy to keep all this S**t off your mind and hopefuly you will be over it soon. Just stay positive
Author brock9911 Posted July 31, 2009 Author Posted July 31, 2009 the traveling is good, but its only for 2 or 3 days so i never get to really live the experience. than its back to work on monday. the same mundane routine. yeah well the worst part is i work on a computer for a living so theres plenty of time to sit and think. my work days is y ill come on this sight and vent because theres so much sh*t going on in my mind. well unfortunately the reason y we're the ones suffering is because we're the ones with a conscience and we cant figure out why thing were done the way they were. it completely sucks, and what really gets me is i think my ex still truely loves me and shes made attempts to fix things, but i cant shake the thought of her cheating. and than she breaks up with me because she thought i was cheating. who knows if she came to her sences after i was gone, but you know what so did i.
northstar1 Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 today sux. its dark gloomy and pooring out by me. not a good mornign to wake up to. to make things worse, iv been thinking about my ex more this week than when we first broke up. in the beginning i had the f*ck you mentallity. i went out, partied, got drunk, hooked up and did what made me happy and numbed the pain. now, i still drink but im cutting back and im reallizing the grim reallity. there were 2 girls i was talking to. trying to get to know each other thing. one is in europe and we talk or email just about every day. than it got to the point of lecturing and nagging, which i am not ready for so i cut her off. and the other one shows interest but is playing the hard to get game, and i dont have time for that *****. now that i dont have those little distractions to keep me satisfied, guess who's in my head. as im driving to work i see her aunt who lived with us. yeah while its pooring and i already feel like *****. way to go fate. i keep checking her myspace which is still all about us. pictures and stating shes in a relationship with me. ugh she did the break up, at least act like it. what a *****ty day I was in your spot last summer mate, so I know how it goes. Honestly, the best thing is to get off the computer sites (They become addictive to check) and when you can, be outdoors. Go for runs, go biking, hiking, anything to be outside and not cooped up indoors. Hell, go for a run in the rain - I did more than a few times and came back in much better spirits.
Author brock9911 Posted July 31, 2009 Author Posted July 31, 2009 yeah thats true, but it is hard to stay away from the computer when you work on a computer for a living. and yes i know how addicting it is. i try to get out as much as possible. i live at home again and now my parents want me to pay rent, im never there haha, ill consider it storage. im constantly playing hockey or handball. hitting the gym. something active to get the serotonine flowing. it relaxes me and mellows me out.
northstar1 Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 yeah thats true, but it is hard to stay away from the computer when you work on a computer for a living. and yes i know how addicting it is. i try to get out as much as possible. i live at home again and now my parents want me to pay rent, im never there haha, ill consider it storage. im constantly playing hockey or handball. hitting the gym. something active to get the serotonine flowing. it relaxes me and mellows me out. Alright then you are doing well and it's just a matter of time. Last summer, I was certain I'd be stuck feeling crap for along time, and it does eventually lessen and pass.
Peanut9330 Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 Hey just wanted to see how your were doing hope your feeling better after your weekend I know I feel much better and i'm starting to realize very clearly that I should not be the one hurting so I made some big progress, anyways fill me in when u get back.
Author brock9911 Posted August 3, 2009 Author Posted August 3, 2009 actually, my weekend was a very good one thanx 4 asking. i some how hung out with my old roommates..which we was a supprise. they hated me bcause of my ex. but i think they know the scenario between me and her so they wanted me back in the group so to say. also i enjoyed the nice weather and the beach so i cant complain. this weekend was a success. how waxs everything going for u this weekend
Peanut9330 Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 My weekend went well I had alot of fun at the bachelorette party on Saturday didnt get home till 5 but we went club hopping as well, on Sunday I was recovering and I had some time to think that I was missing out on things when I was with me ex, he would never allow me to go out like that and I had a restricted list of friends and I dont just mean guy friends he also restricted my girl friends, so I came to a realization that what has happend is for the better, I never minded when he went out with his friends but if I wanted to go out it was a big problem. I guess he had trust issues, so after hanging out with my friends that I havent seen in a good while cuz of him I decided that I need to be with someone who can trust me and be faithful and allow me to be myself. Just cuz i'm going out with my friends dosnet mean i'm gonna cheat, if i'm in a realtionship I just dont allow that to happen but I guess me and him are on a different level....... How are you doing today? hopefuly good!
Author brock9911 Posted August 3, 2009 Author Posted August 3, 2009 yeah i actually just posted a thread saying exactly what your talking about. now that im out of the relationship, im reconnecting with old friends. i was opposite of your ex though. i wanted my ex to go out and make friends. she literally ditched all of her friends which i told her wasnt healthy, but she did it anyway. she never wanted to go out, and when things went bad for us, i actually felt really bad for her becasue she had nobody. thats another thing that ruined our relationship, i still would go out with friends and she didnt want me to. thats what caused so much tension between her and them. i wasnt losing my friends. iv always live with the moto that my friends are family. we're very close and when things go wrong, i always know i can turn to them. but i did lose quite a few of them because of her, and now im finally getting them back. todays not to bad. a lil tired from the weekend, but its actually sunny out and that always puts me in a good mood.. you?
Peanut9330 Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Doing good a lil tired too and sunny days make me feel better also, and I think its important to have friends and to be able to hang out with them. Speaking in general you should be with someone who understands and accepts that. Instead of jumping to conclusions that your going out to cheat my ex always did that to me, but my thinking is if i'm in a relationhip I would never cheat its not hard to be faithful and have fun with friends at the same time.
Author brock9911 Posted August 3, 2009 Author Posted August 3, 2009 yeah most deff. but i guess it was hard for my ex cuz she would cheat. she did the wrong, and i got the blame and heartache. wonderful how life works right
Peanut9330 Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Yea, I know what you mean he did the same to me.
Peanut9330 Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 Just wanted to say Hi and see how your doing overall? I feel like I was snapped back into reality this weekend all those feelings associated with the cheating and break up are gone hope it lasts lol. I feel like myself again! hope your making progress too
Author brock9911 Posted August 5, 2009 Author Posted August 5, 2009 Whats up thanx for the concern. yeah im not too bad. a couple of lapses here and there. like hearing a song that reminds you. but other than that, same ole same ole. just keeping busy. playing handball alot. it helps keep the mind clear
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