ddnnee Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 so i met this girl recently but she just got out of a long 10 year relationship with her boyfriend only for a few months. she will not do NC with her exbf and favors their relationship over ours. they talk on the phone daily. we haven't entered a romantic relationship yet... is this girl worth my trouble/time? oh and here's what she wrote in an email to me: i just called up a friend (no, not huan.) we talked for about an hour and i told him about you and our situation. in the middle of explaining the demands that you have listed for me, i started laughing. in fact, i cracked up for thirty minutes straight, my eyes tearing up, my abs squeezing together, my lips twitching and aching from so much laughter. my mouth still hurts now. i've just realized how stupid all of this is...how truly immature your demands are. you're gonna make me give up my ten year friendship with huan? i cared about you and you had value in my life but what makes you think that i would ever leave behind my friendship with huan? you have no right to make me choose between you two when clearly you guys are not even in the same category. if you really liked me, you would be ok with that but i think you just picked me out and decided to **** with my head. that's fine. it was kind of fun to be honest. i may no longer be huan's girlfriend but he'll always be my friend. you cant force me to give that up. and you were gonna test me on NC? buahahaha i am cracking up again thinking about it. that is just too funny. i cant believe you dont find this hilarious. i cant believe you dont see how childish this really is. hey...i'm truly sorry that you are THIS insecure that you have to make others choose between you and their long time friends. i'm extremely sorry that you feel the need to take over other people's social life just so you can feel secure. i'm terribly sorry that you had to build years worth of barriers, walls, and "tests" around you to impede everyone who has ever tried to get in. i'm not going to NC with huan. never. and i'm not going to study from some bull**** article online for some stupid test that is useless to my knowledge. the truth is, i know how NC works. its ****ing common sense. a fifth grader whose had a bf would know it. if i wanted that to happen with huan i would have done it already. but you were right. our bond is too ****ing strong to break. and i didnt want to have to choose between you guys. i wanted to be able to keep an old friend and make a new one at the same time but you've really left me with no other choice. i can't say we didnt have any good times because i know we did. but clearly it's time to move on. its time for me to find a better friend, one who is willing to accept the rest of the people that i know, regardless of my past and situations with them. thanks for reminding me of the great friends that i already have.
utterer of lies Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 so i met this girl recently but she just got out of a long 10 year relationship with her boyfriend only for a few months. she will not do NC with her exbf and favors their relationship over ours. they talk on the phone daily. we haven't entered a romantic relationship yet... is this girl worth my trouble/time? oh and here's what she wrote in an email to me: Are you delusional? She clearly tells you to f*ck off. Oh, and btw, let me guess, you're a 'nice guy', a 'good friend who only wants to help her'...
sally4sara Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 Yeah, the girl is done with you. The only advise I can give is don't have relationships someone if you don't like all aspects of them and their life. Try to work on your tendency to be controlling. You don't get to pick another adult's friends. Oh, and you should probably refrain from calling women "tricks". It is rude.
JustLooking123 Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 From her email, it sounds like you sent her an article about "NC." If so, I can easily see how that can be interpreted as condescending. I wouldn't worry about whether or not she's worth your time, because it sounds like she's done with you.
MissViolet Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 If you guys weren't even in the romantic stage of the relationship yet, why would you demand such things from here? I would agree that that is insecurity and controlling. She is clearly done with you, no hesitation or blurry lines here.
Charles1978 Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 Yeah that's probably the clearest "you suck, get out of my life" message I have ever seen. You can't salvage this one even if you wanted to. Clearly whatever you two had is over.
Author ddnnee Posted July 31, 2009 Author Posted July 31, 2009 yea thanks. basically i dont think having an EX lingering about will help with a future relationship. i didn't ask her to dump all her friends. i only asked her to NC with her exbf. i guess the girls on here just dont understand.
utterer of lies Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 yea thanks. basically i dont think having an EX lingering about will help with a future relationship. i didn't ask her to dump all her friends. i only asked her to NC with her exbf. i guess the girls on here just dont understand. Clearly, reality distortion is one of your core competencies.
Author ddnnee Posted July 31, 2009 Author Posted July 31, 2009 i guess it has become the norm for girls in usa to have friendship with their exbf of 10 years then go seek out a bf and maintain a relationship with both. ah yea, i am getting advice from a bunch of chicks from countries with 70% divorce rate.
utterer of lies Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 i guess it has become the norm for girls in usa to have friendship with their exbf of 10 years then go seek out a bf and maintain a relationship with both. ah yea, i am getting advice from a bunch of chicks from countries with 70% divorce rate. I am male. I am not american.
free2bme4u Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 I had a similar situation with my ex-boyfriend and I let his "friendship" with his ex-wife of 7 years continue because I didn't want to appear controlling. Guess what?!? It wasn't friendship at all. It was "friendship with benefits." No, this idiotic girl is not worth your time. She is not even ready to date other people yet. The relationship is NOT over and she is biding her time with you until he is available again. There are plenty of good fish in the sea for other good people. Keep your integrity and you will find a woman with intergiry.
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