Did NC work?So she tells me everything I want to hear, is it for real?

[edward-e]

OP im in the same situation as you and my ex didnt wanna stop talking to the guy either. i told her i wouldnt talk to her or be with her unless she stopped talking with the guys completely. i just dont wanna get into a relationship where one person is holding onto a life preserver just in case our love boat crashes. i cant really tell you what to do but i do think if she wants to get back AND you want to get back together then you can go for it if you feel like you can deal with it. i do think you should take it slow though..rushing into it might jsut hurt you again.

 

I just saw this as a great opprotunity to drop a waynes world quote..."everyone(in this thread) is kung-fu fighting!!!!"

[DSM2709]

I'm not sure what to do with my ex, she's very strong willed and knows what she wants in a relationship, she's explained to me several times what types of man she wants, and for some odd reason I never figured it out, unitl it was too late, I still wonder, if I change my ways is there still a chance, maybe not now or 3 months from now but is there a chance for us to get back together? I need to not be such a "nice guy", and "MAN THE **** UP", but is it too late? She wants a man who challenges her, and she can lean on and is independant, I want to be the man she says I can be, but I want to be with her. She told me yesterday after I asked her to dinner and a movie..."We'll see"...and we left it at that, now I am waiting to see if she calls me back with an answer. Either she completely blows me off, or she will come up with a reason why we can't get together. I would be shocked if she actually wanted to go tonight with me, we've been broken up only about a week or so. I know I should have NC, but it was a few days since we last spoke (Monday), and she did say that it wasn't like she didn't want to talk to me again, she just needs her space to clear her head. She goes to school, works full time and has 2 boys, so I'm trying not to think she's out having a good old time with other guys, or maybe she is and I'm just being nieve. She has alot of "guy" friends. On the weekends she doesn't have the kids, she is supposedly home cleaning up the house and doing homework for her masters degree, but I don't believe part of it because she is a very active woman, and she just had the last 2 days of school. She likes to have a good time, and doesn't like to sit around. Should I not be so paranoid, and just see what happens and move on with my life like she is? Man, why is this breakup so hard for me, can I really be this insecure?

[wontgohomewou]

Guys, there are other girls out there that will love you even more than your ex did. Really, don't date an ex again unless it's after a couple years. New_life, it just isn't worth the trouble. You will go back to the same arguments that led to the break up and your whole healing process will go back to square 1. Tell her that you just want to be friends and that dating you ended for good the second she said 'I want to break up'. Be the alpha male, not the little beta. Have control over her, not the opposite.

[CaliGuy]

Just got off the phone with the ex, she breaks down saying she misses me and I was right about telling she would regret it.

 

Says she wants to work it out And I'm the best person she ever met. That she doesn't love the guy she went out but cares alot for him saying it's different.

 

As you saw in my other thread she said that she was tired of looking for me. And now this, she cried and everything I asked if she wanted back and she says she wants to date and get to know each other. However I tell her that I don't want her tAlking to the other guy and she says their just friends that I have to accept that.

 

I don't want to get hurt anymore, could NC work or is she clinging on to me to not let me go? And what about this whole dating thing?? I told her it's all or nothing... I'm suppose to give her a response later today. What do I do?? I don't want to get hurt anymore.

Thank you for everything, this place feels like home.

 

In your case, her maintaining a friendship with the ex is a BOUNDARY for you. She's not respecting the boundary. She's TALKING about it, but not really following through in earnest.

 

I would say no, she's not serious and yes, you will get hurt again. Go back to NC.