Cut my losses and split or what?

[FarAway011]

My girlfriend "V" and I have been together for nearly three years now. I met her while I was stationed in Italy with the Army. We actually met over an internet dating site of all places as she lived and still does live in London. After chating for a month I flew over to London and the stars started to fly. We were like the poster children of 'love' and we got quiet serious about each other.

She's stood by me through two grueling tours in Afghanistan and we both had the idea of starting our lives together proper when I got back. This is where things start to split. Being in Afghanistan I think I latched onto this idea a lot stronger than she did. My first hint was when she decided to spend the first half my post-deployment block leave with her family in Spain. I really struggled with this and I'm sure I blew it out of proportion, as she broke the news to me four weeks out from returning home from the deployment (a guy can be in a very fragile state of mind at this stage.) I accepted she probably wasn't where I was at in the Relationship and put it behind me and drove on. That was a year ago.

We contenued on with our relationship and started to talk about the future again as my time in service was approaching an end. I'd finally be free of my commitment from the Army and the War... What could possible stop us now?! Yet sure as ****, four months later after my ETS date, I sit here alone in Seattle poking at my Keyboard and she's telling me that she doesn't want to come to Seattle until next year! Her reasons?

She's in the middle of an office assistant apprenticeship that wont end till next April. This I can understand, I respect hard work but it really is just an office assistant job. That wouldn't stop me from going to London for her.

She loves London and fears Seattle will be too boring for her. She tells me her passion is dancing and going to the clubs on the weekend. She is 20 and wont be able to do that here. I love London too and the nightlife but I know I could put off the drinks and the clubs if it ment doing something else I love or wanted to do. I find this extremely shallow.

And then there is the obvious, she'll be leaving her home and her friends. You've got to grow up a little sometime though right?

So why don't I go to London? I would if I could, she'd have to be 21 though to sponsor me legally. Not to mention I've got a free ride to almost any state university in the country as a Vet. We'd be moving back to London after I've recieved my Bacc which is only going to take two years anyway.I feel she's she's not willing to make any sacrifices for me and that bothers me, specially because I see them as small, though understand they may be very big for her. I'm not going to wait a year for my girlfriend to decide she likes me enough to be with me. I'm not sure what to do about it. I'm not being to unreasonable am I?

 

Cheers, hope your eyes aren't bleeding from that.

[socialight]

She is 20 years old and way way too young to even consider settling down. This is an easy fold. Break it off and move on.

[leonar]

20 years old is too young. She doesn't know what she wants in life yet. You should be careful. I experienced this first hand.

[Citizen Drawn]

I really feel for you. It's easy to say as an outsider you should just get rid of her but I know when you're on the inside of this it's much tougher, especially after you flew over to London and had that magical time together. I'm guessing you've probably been quite lovesick. I can see how this is twisting you up, trying to figure out ways of getting to be with her, and it must be really frustrating that she doesn't want to come and visit you. The problem is, especially as you live so far apart you need two people to be really willing to put a lot of effort in, and at the moment it does seem very one sided. I think you should consider calling it quits because if she's not reciprocating what you're putting out it's just going to get more frustrating I'm afraid.