JustAnotherGeek Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 I've looked around for advice on how long one should wait before calling a woman and asking her out. They all seem to address what to do after you meet the person for the first time and exchange numbers. My story is a little different. I hope to make this short and to the point. I own a store with clientèle that I see on a regular basis. Once a day, a week, a month and so on. There was one lady I would usually see on a regular basis and we would have the normal chit chat that goes with it. Though I was attracted to her and we were very friendly, I knew she was married at the time so never made any kind of advance. This probably went on for over a year or two when suddenly I didn't see her anymore. About a year later (3 months ago), I ran into her at a local grocer (how cliche) and we chatted for a few minutes. She was visibly upset and told me she was now divorced. Seeing that the moment wasn't right, I wished her well and we went our separate ways. And then something happened this morning that I can only term as fate. I was heading towards the store and saw her in the gas station pumping gas. I said to myself "F it.... I'm going to ask her out". So I turned around and pulled in to say good morning. After some brief idle chit chat about my dog who was in the car and weather and work, I gathered enough courage and asked if she would like to go out. She smiled and looked at me and asked "Are you single?". My response, "For quite a long time". She then said with enthusiasm "Sure". She was in a hurry to go and since she was standing by my car, she gave me her number. We wished each other a good day and I said I'd call you soon. It's obvious there is a mutual interest but now to the proverbial question. How long do I wait? I've read anything from right away to two days and even more. I've also seen where it says if you met on a certain day of the week, to call on a certain other day (ie: meet on Thursday, call on Sunday). Given the fact that I have known her for a period of time, would that have any impact on how long I should wait? I obviously don't want to come off as creepy or needy or desperate. Any advice???? Thanks!
in_absentia Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 That's awesome you asked her out I really admire people who do that even if there's a risk of rejection, I have respect for someone who asks me out even if I decline, it shows balls! Don't mess around, just give her a call now. If you leave it too long she'll be thinking you're not interested and that if you were seriously bothered, you'd have done it already. If she's genuinely interested then she isn't going to be put off by you being eager to talk to her and go on a date with her. I'd be less interested in someone if they said they'd call then waited a long time, I'd probably just assume they'd had second thoughts.
samspade Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 Wait a couple of days. It is better to err on the side of patience than to seem over-eager. If I were you, I'd call her on Sunday to make plans for that Thursday. It doesn't really matter how long you have known her; one thing a woman will find unappealing in a man is desperation. It's not a "game," it's just common sense - people have lives, and they expect you to have one, too. By the way, this is one of the worst topics about which to receive female advice. They will tell you the complete opposite of what actually works. Do you think men made up the 3-day rule? Why on Earth would we? It doesn't do us any good. It comes from years upon years of trial and error. If men had their druthers, they'd call right away. Waiting a couple of days is recommended simply because it succeeds far more often. Stay busy this weekend and call her on Sunday.
WTRanger Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 I'd say call her tomorrow. Calling on the same day you receive the number is way too over eager, but waiting even 3 days can blow your chances. Maybe not making plans for this weekend, but I'd call her the day after getting the number. Then again, the female brain is impossible to solve. The paradox of say one thing mean another is beyond comprehension. I know guys do it too, but females are infamous for it. So to hell with it, just go with you gut feeling. It's done you well so far. Look, you did the hardest part. You asked her out, face to face. So this should be a piece of cake. To me, the 3 day rule went out the window with the rotary telephone. Today, everyone is connected with everyone and everyone demands instant feedback. We're so needy....
Author JustAnotherGeek Posted August 1, 2009 Author Posted August 1, 2009 Thank you all for your input. Well, I decided I'd call her this evening and while I was a bit hesitant at first, I figured ... balls out before.... balls out now. It turned out great. We had a great talk and I learned we had a lot of things in common. While we both decided meeting this weekend wouldn't work out, we do plan on getting together next week and have coffee. Thanks all for your advice.
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