joerhp Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 So heres the story Me and my girlfriend met 3 years ago I just turned 17 she was 15. We both dealt with so many issues with each other, we fell in love to fast and lost track of who we were. Our first relationship lasted from October of 06 to January/February of 08. She broke up with me because she thought I was going off to college, and that the inevitable would happen, she got a new boyfriend, I had new girls, we both drank (which we never did when together) and we both realized our lives were empty. We got back together in April of 08, to the dismay of my friends, my friends except for a few hated her for getting a new boyfriend and breaking up with me. Now some background I have been a baseball player my whole life, my intention was always to play in college and professionally, however in May of 08, I hurt my arm, suddendly not sure what to do with my future I panicked and became scared. Still hurt by our initial breakup we ended things as I decided what to do about college, and what I really wanted this was July of 08 we broke up. Come August of 08 we are back together. I signed to play baseball on a scholarship at a community college 45 minutes away, and we lasted the whole year together. There were road bumps like when I got drunk on New Years Eve and name called and vented about how upset I was she got a new boyfriend when we broke up 8 months ago, but everything was good. We agreed to set everything behind us from the past. January to June except for the occasional normal disagreement, was perfect, the distance was fine we saw each other every weekend. I hated baseball as my injury had not healed and agreed to transfer up to the school she is going in the Fall, (since it was where I wanted to go out of high school). We get hit with the bomb that her dad's bank is shutting down and he has to move the family from Seattle to Portland, we agree it will be hard but since she nannys in Seattle every other week that it will work out fine, and I will visit her once or twice a month. July comes and we rarely see each other. I have been coming to grips that I will no longer play baseball and accepting my life for what it is. I am disillushioned that I am going to a community college still, cant play baseball, and my girlfriend lives 200 miles away. Meanwhile my friends dont do anything but party drink and smoke. I hang out with them a few times but it bothers her that girls are there I had hooked up with before and that I am around drinking and smoking. I assure her I do not drink or smoke (which I dont) because I dont want to risk anything, but with both of us getting older we have to have lives outside of each other as well as with each other if we want this to last. All through July she begins to act distant. When I visit her in Portland she goes to bed at 10 30, when I come to spend the night with her when shes in Seattle, she chooses to see a movie with her friends even though I had already planned to sleep over. We fight and then agree that we just need to work on it, that she needs to appreciate how hard I try (cooking her dinner, not smoking or drinking, staying in a lot of the nights shes not here) and appreciate how good I am to her, and I need to understand her side of the story that she doesnt like my friends cuase they are rude to her (however I always defend my friends to her foolishly) and realize her life is hard being in Portland most of the summer with no friends or any social ties at all. So come 3 days after that talk we see a movie. She has been sexually distant for a while, but I admit i try to hard because I am extremely attracted to her. We go to see the movie and she is just mad at me the whole time cause I made fun of a few things in the movie and she tries to cuddle next to me once and I dont put my arm around her cause I wasnt feeling that close to her, I had a long day at work and was upset about getting rejected by her lately. When i take her to her car there is no talking at all. Finally I ask whats wrong. She says she just isnt happy with herself, it isnt me but she cant do this because she doesnt know what she wants. She loves me she says and cares about me a ton but doesnt know where the next step is. If only she knew I felt the same way. I tell her we can change together, that everything will be okay, maybe we just need to take things slow. The fight escualtes and we break up, she gives me a ring I bought her back to which I proceed to throw it out of the car and say I dont care about that anymore, I just want to be with her, it doesnt matter where I am she is what I want. She admits to still loving me but I think we are both just lost kids. I know this sounds corny and cheesy and very dysfunctional but it was the best thing ive ever known, better than sports or friends or parties or anything. I know she will realizes she misses me, I know I will want her back, and I honestly think after seeing every other girl I know that this is the one I need to marry. But maybe its just not the right time. She agrees we can be friends and she wants to meet me once she calms down and finds out what she wants, but I dont know where to go. I am working a dead end job, cant play sports, have alcoholic friends, and am living at home with my parents going to community college. Part of me just wants to go to a school as far away as I can possibly get while the other part of me just wants to try once more as an adult person because we have both tried to get over each other and it doesnt work. This is long as can be, but I am upset, I just needed to vent.
Author joerhp Posted July 30, 2009 Author Posted July 30, 2009 cliffs dated for 3 years broke up twice before everything going fine for a year. she moves. things get hard. we both are unhappy with our lives. we break up in a huge fight. she says she just cant appreciate me and she loves me but she has to be happy. where to go from here. as if my life couldnt get worse
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