how many sociopaths do you know?

[NoIDidn't]

I know quite a few people that have sociopathic tendencies, but I doubt that they are actual sociopaths. More likely, they probably have some sort of personality disorder or just suffer from having no values ever truly taught to them.

 

I know that things like sociopath and narcissist get thrown around here a lot, but most MPs that cheat don't completely fit the bill. Sure, their behavior fits it at the current moment, but a true sociopath or narcissist was known to be that way from childhood. Many don't have any friends from childhood as they alienated all of them. Many don't have any friends at all, other than opportunists waiting to get something from them (other disordered people).

 

I think something is wrong with my dad, but I couldn't begin to tell you what. He's a run of the mill misogynist, that's for sure.

[frustrated&sad]

This thread scared the $%!* out of me. My ex-fiance fits almost all these criteria. This really blew me away. Anyone who has read my other threads would likely agree.

 

Wow. I was in total denial.

[NoIDidn't]

This thread scared the $%!* out of me. My ex-fiance fits almost all these criteria. This really blew me away. Anyone who has read my other threads would likely agree.

 

Wow. I was in total denial.

 

Well, good for you that he's your ex. I have an ex of over a decade that fit the criteria for a narcissist. He recently told me he actually had a diagnosis back in college.

 

So, you dodged a bullet. Be very grateful. I know I am.

[Reggie]

The difficulty with finding out you are with someone that has NPD is that they are so very good at hiding it during courtship. From what i have read, folks with PD's seldom reveal their true selves until after you are firmly enmenshed, via marriage or kids and a mortgage. Then, the mask comes off.

I wish I had known what to look for. Much of it was there to see in my XWW's past, at least the parts i knew about. I should have investigated further but I had never heard of these PDs and did not realize what this stuff meant. And, there was much more that I did not know about.

There were episodes of behavior that now, looking back with what I have learned, should have made me wonder. I know I was confused by what I was expieriencing. But, it was transient and I chalked it up to other streessor on her causing the behaviors.

I soon came to learn I had seen the tip of the iceberg.

It is difficult to explain to folks how adept and charming these folks are, how they can make it seem like the problems are all caused by you. I would do things that were completely innocuous, normal things like communicate with my first wife about the logistics of caring for our boys, or simply talk to my sons or attend one of their functions. These things would enrage my second wife to the point where she would not talk to me for days.

It is so weird being punished for things that, to a normal person, would be good things, signs of being a responsible parent to my kids.

A relationship with one of these folks is like walking in a minefield blindfolded.

[joybean72]

My stbx, as well as my daughter's father, and also my older brother (although none have been professionally diagnosed) display all the signs of having NPD. I can TOTALLY relate to everything Reggie has said. It is scary...exhausting...and basically mind warping having lived with these kind of people. They make you think you are the "crazy one." (With the gaslighting & emotional abuse...you tend to doubt everything about yourself & feel like maybe you ARE crazy, although you know you are not!) Once you remove yourself from the situation it is easier to see exactly how disfuctional they really are. (And yes...many other "secrets" come out after that.) I WISH to hell I would have paid more attention to the red flags. NOT to be repeated again, fer sure!

[Ariadne]

Is it really true that one in twenty-five people can be classified as a "sociopath?"

 

Dunno, but I'm pretty good at spotting them.

 

Those charts can leave you confused, but basically, they are full of sht and phony and you can tell they are crooks. They are also not dumb, so you can see they are cunning. (And if you push their buttons they can get very aggressive).

 

I remember one time I went to pick up my ex husband 1 from his job, and this guy came and introduced himself and was all charming. I told my ex right away to be careful with this guy he was a crook.

 

He was upset at me, how dare you say something like that, that the guy was the nicest guy and everyone liked him. And not only that, the guy had cancer also (wow).

 

A couple weeks later the guy got fired from stealing money and God knows what else he was doing over there.

[LakesideDream]

What "type" of Sociopath are we all discussing here? If the discussion is centered around Sexual Sociopaths or those with Criminal behaviors that's one thing.

 

There are lots of "sociopaths" past and present that the world literally couldn't have lived without. In recent times, George Patton, and Douglas McArthur come to mind. President's Roosevelt (Theo), Kennedy, and Clinton undoubtedly qualified. A quick look at History uncovers lots of very high functioning sociopaths. No questions there are absolutely horrid bad examples, Hitler and Stalin heading the list.

 

Not every sociopath is dangerous to society. Most sociopaths are not phycho-sexual deviants. Those that are, cause lots of grief. Those that are not deviants are well represented in leadership roles in society.

 

Sociopath does not equal Serial Killer. But... all true Serial Killers (not spree killers, or criminals who kill in the course of their crimes) ARE sociopaths.

 

Here's one that will really anger some people. There are no medically diagnosed cases of female sociopaths. Zero. Spree Killers yes, those who kill for money yes. Those who kill for other personal gain yes. There have been no diagnosed and peer reviewed cases of female sociopathy.

[theBrokenMuse]

I don't remember what study I read this in, because it was about a year ago but in any case I read that the number of sociopathic children is on the rise and seemed to be making some correlation between that and the number of kids going to daycare full-time.

[Montclair0011]

I think my estranged husband is somewhere along this spectrum, although not even close to a serial killer. Maybe it's just BPD, but it's something way past normal. He has, what I used to affectionately refer to as a little "werewolf" problem. He would blow up over random events and just loose it like a crazy person and then when the storm cleared he'd be like, "Sorry about that, now please pass the salt."

 

He lied so often and so naturally, I just thought it was normal behavior. . . until he started having an affair with a women, who is very similar to him. Even though we were married, he had his own bank account and tried to rip me off and got me to pay for way more than my share. He was very controlling and always complained that he did so much more than I did. Even if I had to work late he would insist that I do major household cleaning to make up for the time I lost. He never thought I did enough around the house (truthfully no one could compete with his aggressive housecleaning. I felt assaulted whenever he vacuumed).

 

He still reinvents reality even now when we live apart and have a child care scheduled agreed to and written down. He never pays me money as promised. Last week was my scheduled week with our child but he decided, based on ridiculous evidence, that he would have him (it fit better with his schedule with his girlfriend, but instead of asking me to switch, he just took the kid at the last moment and gave lame but aggressive justifications for his behavior. Given two behavior choices, he seems to always choose the one that will be closest to sadistic for the other person.

 

Every therapist we have dealt with (for marriage counseling or for our child) has basically said he was out of control or just plain horrible (one told me, "you will someday be so glad he is gone). He would just make stuff up in the office and then get mad and storm out. Once he even destroyed a wastebasket on his way out.

[theBrokenMuse]

 

Here's one that will really anger some people. There are no medically diagnosed cases of female sociopaths. Zero. Spree Killers yes, those who kill for money yes. Those who kill for other personal gain yes. There have been no diagnosed and peer reviewed cases of female sociopathy.

 

C. ROBERT CLONINGER and SAMUEL B. GUZE Psychiatric Illness and Female Criminality: The Role of Sociopathy and Hysteria in the Antisocial Woman Am J Psychiatry 127:303-311, September 1970 doi: 10.1176/appi.ajp.127.3.303 © 1970 American Psychiatric Association I was able to find this although there really is slim pickings.

[Reggie]

What "type" of Sociopath are we all discussing here? If the discussion is centered around Sexual Sociopaths or those with Criminal behaviors that's one thing.

 

There are lots of "sociopaths" past and present that the world literally couldn't have lived without. In recent times, George Patton, and Douglas McArthur come to mind. President's Roosevelt (Theo), Kennedy, and Clinton undoubtedly qualified. A quick look at History uncovers lots of very high functioning sociopaths. No questions there are absolutely horrid bad examples, Hitler and Stalin heading the list.

 

Not every sociopath is dangerous to society. Most sociopaths are not phycho-sexual deviants. Those that are, cause lots of grief. Those that are not deviants are well represented in leadership roles in society.

 

Sociopath does not equal Serial Killer. But... all true Serial Killers (not spree killers, or criminals who kill in the course of their crimes) ARE sociopaths.

 

Here's one that will really anger some people. There are no medically diagnosed cases of female sociopaths. Zero. Spree Killers yes, those who kill for money yes. Those who kill for other personal gain yes. There have been no diagnosed and peer reviewed cases of female sociopathy.

 

Does not anger me, Lake. But, I question this. Perhaps it is the "medically diagnosed " requirement that makes this true. The only case of a woman serial killer that comes to mind is the woman down in Florida, portrayed by Charlize Theron in "Monster". But, she seems to fit the bill.

There are female sociopaths, no doubt. But, at the present time, it seems for societal reasons and prejudices, many females with disorders like ASPD or NPD are put into the BPD or HPD categories. Their behaviors are , essentially the same as the NPDs or ASPDs , but society cannot seem to bear to classify them as such.

You can see this phenomena inthe way female sexual predators are treated, as well, with them being labled mentally ill or unbalnced vs the way male predators are routinely seen as deviant and sociopathic. Behaviors are exactly the same, but one gender is viewed differently.

[LakesideDream]

Does not anger me, Lake. But, I question this. Perhaps it is the "medically diagnosed " requirement that makes this true. The only case of a woman serial killer that comes to mind is the woman down in Florida, portrayed by Charlize Theron in "Monster". But, she seems to fit the bill.

There are female sociopaths, no doubt. But, at the present time, it seems for societal reasons and prejudices, many females with disorders like ASPD or NPD are put into the BPD or HPD categories. Their behaviors are , essentially the same as the NPDs or ASPDs , but society cannot seem to bear to classify them as such.

You can see this phenomena inthe way female sexual predators are treated, as well, with them being labled mentally ill or unbalnced vs the way male predators are routinely seen as deviant and sociopathic. Behaviors are exactly the same, but one gender is viewed differently.

 

 

 

I don't agree about Wornos in Florida. She was a murder for profit. A prostitute, and a lesbian she chose the men she murdered by the car they drove and the money they displayed. There was never a claim that she received sexual satisfaction from her killing. Killing the john was the easiest way to get the mans money and his car.

 

"Serial Killers" kill for the sexual stimulation they derive from the act.

 

Regardless. If one case can invalidate a rule, there is the possibility that Wornos was a serial killer.

 

Be aware there are definable differences between Spree Killers, Mass Murderers, criminals who use Homocide to cover their crimes, and Profit Murders, and true serial killers who kill as a part of their sexual ritual.

 

Of course to a victim, those distinctions are meaningless.

[Reggie]

I don't know all the details re Worros, Lake. But, I am not limiting the sociopath label to serial killers or sexual deviants. I think there are gradations.

I have not read that book, "The Sociopath Nextdoor", but I have hear it described as putting forth the proposition that folks who engage in toher forms of manipulation and dishonesty, other than killing etc,fit the criteria of sociopathy. You can see this in everyady life, how people routinely do things like not return wallets.

[NoIDidn't]

There are female sociopaths, no doubt. But, at the present time, it seems for societal reasons and prejudices, many females with disorders like ASPD or NPD are put into the BPD or HPD categories. Their behaviors are , essentially the same as the NPDs or ASPDs , but society cannot seem to bear to classify them as such.

You can see this phenomena inthe way female sexual predators are treated, as well, with them being labled mentally ill or unbalnced vs the way male predators are routinely seen as deviant and sociopathic. Behaviors are exactly the same, but one gender is viewed differently.

 

 

So true. I've seen women that I would say are definitely NPD, but they are diagnosed as BPD. I wonder why the difference in diagnoses when they are basically one in the same?

 

I don't know that its to women's benefit either. Because the BPD and HPD diagnoses really do come off as sexist. The "histrionic" thing. But that's another conversation.

[Reggie]

Yes, I think it is very prevalent to lump women into the BPD/HPD categories and men into NPD or ASPD. Now, ASPD seems to be a different animal, as the folks with this disorder do not seem to feel much suffering, worrying about WTF is wrong with them. The others do seem to have some insight into how messed up they are and they do suffer, although it seldom causes them to change.

I think terms like "borderline" or "histrionic" just seem "softer" to some folks and they are reluctant to put women into the more hardcore categories, like NPD. Something about the words sociopath or narcissist seem to elicit more disapprobation.

In reality, BPDs and HPDs do every bit as much damage to people as NPDs. One author I read feels they are the same disorders , stemming from self loathing, but manifesting themselves differently depending on the current circumstances of the disordered person's life. When things are going oaky, they act NPD. When consequences come crashing down, they seem to revert to BPD, until they can alleviate their current stressors and climb back into more traditional NPD behavior.