KG23 Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Well this is my first post even though I joined a month ago. I very nearly wrote on this forum about how well my affair was going with my MM and that I knew we would be part of the very small percentage of couples that would make it.... Of course I was wrong. I'm 23 and have been in a few serious relationships before I got involved with MM, he is 43 and has a 1yr old boy with his W. They have been married for 12 years. So anyway...I met him at work and it started with a few flirty emails about 4 months ago. I found him really easy to talk to and in no time we were chatting via emails all day at work and on MSN late at night for hours. We soon were meeting up in quiet rooms at work just for kisses and cuddles...the chemistry was unbelievable, i keep telling myself now that it was just because of the situation and how we both knew it was wrong but it just felt like we were meant to be... A month later we would start meeting up outside of work, sometimes for a few hours, it felt like he made alot of time for me and when we were together I was just on cloud 9, he made me feel so special the way he looked into my eyes and told me he loved me and how he wished it was us together instead. He told me he was unhappy at home and how he was just staying because of his little boy (what a surprise!) We carried on seeing each other about 3 times a week and texting and phoning everyday, talking about our future like where we would live and getting married. 3 months into the affair he said it was too much for him to bear being at home with his W and he told her he wanted a divorce...this didn't go down well with her and she turned nasty telling him that if he leaved he would hardly see his son. This broke his heart but he insisted I was worth it and he would fight to see him more. He even got the estate agents round to put their house on the market but because the house was in joint names they both had to sign...and she didn't want a separation so refused to sign!! His W also got suspicious and knew there was someone else involved, she went through his laptop and found pictures of me (not any rude ones lol) on a social networking site he had visited. She now knew that I worked for the same company and phoned me up through the switchboard demanding to know what was going on with me and her H...I had to deny everything and told her we were just friends which was sooo hard, I wanted to tell her everything! This all happened last week and on Sunday I came home to see her and her sister on my doorstep! I got out my and car and she came over and punched my jaw and started calling me every name under the sun after her sister had calmed her down a bit. She told me she knew I was texting him and demanded to see my phone as she wanted to know what we'd been talking about. I said there was nothing to see and told her to leave my property as she started being very threatening, telling me that if she didn't "kick my head in" then her mother would because she doesnt have a job or anything to lose...she only left me alone because it was time to go home and feed her son... Later on that night MM text me saying he was so sorry that happened and that he had moved out into his parents and that he would fight for his son in the courts to see him...he asked me if I still wanted to be with him and of course I said yes, he made me so happy I couldnt walk away from that even with all the aggro going on. We both took the day off work on Monday and I got a phone call around lunch time from him...he told me we had to end this and have no contact because he could face loosing his son. At that very moment my world came crashing down and my heart felt like it had been stamped on...I was in shock...I never seen this coming and now I'm in pieces. I can't stop crying. I can hardly eat. I can't work. My life feels over right now...It has only been four days but I miss him so much...yesterday a mutual friend at work, who knows everything about our A, told me he was wanting to contact me to tell me how sorry he was and that the thought of loosing his son was just too much but he passed on the message instead because our friend said it was best to have no contact... He has now moved back in with his W and I've been told they are going to make another go of it. Why have I made such a fool of myself? Has everything he told me just lies??? I'm now the one with the "homewrecker" label as it has got out at work. While he has wormed his way back in with her and coming out like he has had a little moment of madness...I'm so hurt right now so any advice would really help me...thanks for reading if you've got this far!
whichwayisup Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 They have been married for 12 years. So anyway...I met him at work and it started with a few flirty emails about 4 months ago. They've been married for 12 years, have a child together and built a life together.. 4 months isn't that long and to hope/expect that he leaves all that he knows for the unknown, even if he's lead you to believe that, isn't going to happen, sadly as you know now.. He made his choice and the best thing you can do for yourself is, accept that it's over and be glad you didn't waste 1,2,3 years in an affair with him. I know you're hurting, make sure you talk to your close friends and family to help you through this. You aren't a fool, you just believed his lies. He lied and cheated, betrayed his wife, so he is capable of doing the very same thing to you. Maybe start looking for another job, if you find it too uncomfortable at work..
fooled once Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 Well this is my first post even though I joined a month ago. I very nearly wrote on this forum about how well my affair was going with my MM and that I knew we would be part of the very small percentage of couples that would make it.... Of course I was wrong. I'm 23 and have been in a few serious relationships before I got involved with MM, he is 43 and has a 1yr old boy with his W. They have been married for 12 years. So anyway...I met him at work and it started with a few flirty emails about 4 months ago. I found him really easy to talk to and in no time we were chatting via emails all day at work and on MSN late at night for hours. We soon were meeting up in quiet rooms at work just for kisses and cuddles...the chemistry was unbelievable, i keep telling myself now that it was just because of the situation and how we both knew it was wrong but it just felt like we were meant to be... A month later we would start meeting up outside of work, sometimes for a few hours, it felt like he made alot of time for me and when we were together I was just on cloud 9, he made me feel so special the way he looked into my eyes and told me he loved me and how he wished it was us together instead. He told me he was unhappy at home and how he was just staying because of his little boy (what a surprise!) We carried on seeing each other about 3 times a week and texting and phoning everyday, talking about our future like where we would live and getting married. 3 months into the affair he said it was too much for him to bear being at home with his W and he told her he wanted a divorce...this didn't go down well with her and she turned nasty telling him that if he leaved he would hardly see his son. This broke his heart but he insisted I was worth it and he would fight to see him more. He even got the estate agents round to put their house on the market but because the house was in joint names they both had to sign...and she didn't want a separation so refused to sign!! His W also got suspicious and knew there was someone else involved, she went through his laptop and found pictures of me (not any rude ones lol) on a social networking site he had visited. She now knew that I worked for the same company and phoned me up through the switchboard demanding to know what was going on with me and her H...I had to deny everything and told her we were just friends which was sooo hard, I wanted to tell her everything! This all happened last week and on Sunday I came home to see her and her sister on my doorstep! I got out my and car and she came over and punched my jaw and started calling me every name under the sun after her sister had calmed her down a bit. She told me she knew I was texting him and demanded to see my phone as she wanted to know what we'd been talking about. I said there was nothing to see and told her to leave my property as she started being very threatening, telling me that if she didn't "kick my head in" then her mother would because she doesnt have a job or anything to lose...she only left me alone because it was time to go home and feed her son... Later on that night MM text me saying he was so sorry that happened and that he had moved out into his parents and that he would fight for his son in the courts to see him...he asked me if I still wanted to be with him and of course I said yes, he made me so happy I couldnt walk away from that even with all the aggro going on. We both took the day off work on Monday and I got a phone call around lunch time from him...he told me we had to end this and have no contact because he could face loosing his son. At that very moment my world came crashing down and my heart felt like it had been stamped on...I was in shock...I never seen this coming and now I'm in pieces. I can't stop crying. I can hardly eat. I can't work. My life feels over right now...It has only been four days but I miss him so much...yesterday a mutual friend at work, who knows everything about our A, told me he was wanting to contact me to tell me how sorry he was and that the thought of loosing his son was just too much but he passed on the message instead because our friend said it was best to have no contact... He has now moved back in with his W and I've been told they are going to make another go of it. Why have I made such a fool of myself? Has everything he told me just lies??? I'm now the one with the "homewrecker" label as it has got out at work. While he has wormed his way back in with her and coming out like he has had a little moment of madness...I'm so hurt right now so any advice would really help me...thanks for reading if you've got this far! Yes, unfortunately, it was lies. More than likely, ALL of it was lies. I am sorry, I know you are hurting. But that is what happens many times when you mess with a married man. Grieve, cry and then pick yourself up. You are only 23 years old. You have a lOT of life in front of you. My best advice --- stay away from married men. They are liars and cheaters.
NoIDidn't Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 Wow, it is a mess, but you don't sound one bit remorseful for it. Sounds like you are gearing up for blaming him for choices you made on your own. It sucks to be in the position you are in, but its only going to get worst if you don't own your part in it. BTW, the W punched you because you lied to her, not simply because of what you are doing with her H. Its the lying part that pisses the betrayed off more than anything else. You didn't have to lie to her, you chose to lie to her. The best advice I can give is end this completely and move on. Anything less is only going to make things worst for you. (An aside: I find it interesting that he moved in with his parents after the confrontation, but then immediately stated that he had to end the affair. Wonder what his parents must have said to him? Or did he really move in with them? Interesting, however its viewed.)
Author KG23 Posted July 31, 2009 Author Posted July 31, 2009 Thanks for everyones input. WWI - I know our A was short and it has probably saved me even more heartache with his W finding out about us...but I really did feel we were making progress and I keep thinking "what if she never found out...we could of still been happy..." fooled once - thanks, your post has helped! I am going out with girlfriends tomorrow night but men of any sort will be avoided untill I get myself together nid - I truely do feel awful for what has happened but he made me believe their M was over, that they hardly spoke and were only together for their kid...he made so many promises to me and they've been shattered overnight... So we are both to blame for the choices I guess. Yeah I don't know what to think about him moving out anymore, probably another lie..
NoIDidn't Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 nid - I truely do feel awful for what has happened but he made me believe their M was over, that they hardly spoke and were only together for their kid...he made so many promises to me and they've been shattered overnight... So we are both to blame for the choices I guess. Yeah I don't know what to think about him moving out anymore, probably another lie.. KG23 Thats what married guys who want to cheat tell their girlfriends. They tell her whatever it takes to get her to feel its okay to be with them. If that means making her think that the marriage is over, so be it. I wanted to add that I don't think its okay that she hit you. I just don't think she did it only because of the affair. I think she also did it because she's afraid to hit him and possibly because she had to put on a good show for her sister. But I'm am sure that she was angry at being lied to. Definitely walk away from this madness. I don't think anyone goes into a relationship expecting this mess!
GreenEyedLady Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 OP: First off, if that woman comes on your property again, call the police. What she did is ASSAULT. The law doesn't care if you were sleeping with her husband. People can't go around attacking people. Document everything and get a restraining order if you need one. Next, they do have a baby. Just do NC. Step back and let them make or break their M. If you're meant to be together, then it will happen, eventually. Don't focus on him focus on you. You are so young and you were used by this man. Do you have a good R with your boss? All the bosses I have had have always been supportive of their staff and very helpful when going through crises. Can you be transferred to another department? I would report her harassing phone calls, even if it causes you embarrassment with your boss. This is not OK no matter what she or other BS's on this website think. Also check with your HR department and see what Employee Assistance Program benefits you have. Finally, is your MM a manager? He may get in ALOT of trouble if your R is found out. Just put that in your back pocket if the BS continues harassing you. He could lose his job if they decide it was sexual harassment, no matter if it was consensual. Is he in a position of authority? Above all, take care of you. Don't listen to his excuses when he tries to weasel his way back in. You have your entire life ahead of you. Focus on making better choices in the future. In time this will all seem like a bad dream. GEL
Author KG23 Posted July 31, 2009 Author Posted July 31, 2009 Nid - I think it's starting to sink in a little... Yeah she was very angry, she kept shouting that she wasn't finished with me either but nothing has happened yet! I do understand her pain but voilence is never right, she should be more angry at her H. He's the one who betrayed her...
Author KG23 Posted July 31, 2009 Author Posted July 31, 2009 Gel - I did inform the police but didn't press any charges because it would of made the situation worse. I will follow them up if I do get any more threats though! We did agree NC on Monday but then I got a phone call at my desk today!! I must admit it was nice to hear him again and he said he was really sorry for how things have turned out...I had so much I wanted to ask and say to him but my mind just went blank. He said we would talk again when the dust has settled...what does this mean??? Does he want to start the A again or genuinely want to have a heart to heart? His W certainly wouldn't be happy as I know she wants me to leave the company... MM is a manager but we work in different departments in seperate buildings so it's very unlikely we will bump into each other. I'll keep that in mind if she does bother me again!! My boss has just came back from holiday but he knows...and is really great about it, I'm not being treated any different like I thought I'd be Thank you for your kind words also...I do believe in fate and I'm really going to try moving on from this...if it's meant to be then maybe we'll be together in 5 years time, who knows lol.
MistyK Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 Gel - I did inform the police but didn't press any charges because it would of made the situation worse. I will follow them up if I do get any more threats though! We did agree NC on Monday but then I got a phone call at my desk today!! I must admit it was nice to hear him again and he said he was really sorry for how things have turned out...I had so much I wanted to ask and say to him but my mind just went blank. He said we would talk again when the dust has settled...what does this mean??? Does he want to start the A again or genuinely want to have a heart to heart? His W certainly wouldn't be happy as I know she wants me to leave the company... MM is a manager but we work in different departments in seperate buildings so it's very unlikely we will bump into each other. I'll keep that in mind if she does bother me again!! My boss has just came back from holiday but he knows...and is really great about it, I'm not being treated any different like I thought I'd be Thank you for your kind words also...I do believe in fate and I'm really going to try moving on from this...if it's meant to be then maybe we'll be together in 5 years time, who knows lol. Sounds to me like he's just waiting for the dust to settle so the A can resume as per usual. That's exactly what happened with my MM after D-Day. He also pulled a similar stunt a few months after d-day - he moved out for 3 days. I would advise that you NOT fall for that. If he wants to be with you, let him leave his W first. And maybe D papers too. 5 months post moving out, my MM is still umbilically tied to his W and let me tell you it's not fun to still feel like the OW months after separation. It's almost worse than him going home to his W every night because he knows what life is like without her and still drags his feet in terms of the D and boundaries. Trust me, you don't want this. Let him get divorced first.
MistyK Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 One other thing, I'm guessing you didn't press charges so that MM wouldn't get mad at you. Big Mistake. When it comes down to it, he's already established that he will protect his own hide, and not you. He will not protect you, so you need to protect yourself. And screw him if he doesn't like it. Who would want to be with a man that thinks it's ok for anyone (let alone his W) to assault you? As lame as my MM was about so many things, I KNOW he would have happily watched them arrest his W if she pulled something like that. His W came down to my house and screamed at me from her car in front of my kids, the neighbors, my xH, etc. I called the police, and he supported me. If your MM won't support you or at least understand, then you don't want him anyway. You are the only one looking out for you right now and you have no idea if this woman will come back and do you REAL harm. Watch the news- it happens all the time. PLEASE protect yourself.
fooled once Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Gel - I did inform the police but didn't press any charges because it would of made the situation worse. I will follow them up if I do get any more threats though! We did agree NC on Monday but then I got a phone call at my desk today!! I must admit it was nice to hear him again and he said he was really sorry for how things have turned out...I had so much I wanted to ask and say to him but my mind just went blank. He said we would talk again when the dust has settled...what does this mean??? Does he want to start the A again or genuinely want to have a heart to heart? His W certainly wouldn't be happy as I know she wants me to leave the company... MM is a manager but we work in different departments in seperate buildings so it's very unlikely we will bump into each other. I'll keep that in mind if she does bother me again!! My boss has just came back from holiday but he knows...and is really great about it, I'm not being treated any different like I thought I'd be Thank you for your kind words also...I do believe in fate and I'm really going to try moving on from this...if it's meant to be then maybe we'll be together in 5 years time, who knows lol. Do you want to resume the affair? If not, if he calls you again, HANG UP on him. He is showing you he doesn't believe you and disrespects you by doing exactly what you asked him not to do - contact you. He isn't going to leave his wife. He just wants to know if you are willing to be his little side action. PLEASE dont do this. PLEASE. Do not let him worm his way back into your life. And are you not embarassed that your boss knows that you are having an affair with another married manager???
GreenBamboo Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 I believe MM went back to his son. He doesn't love his W. But he loves his son more than he loves you(understandable, his son is only 1 years old) Do you want to marry him soon? If not, then why do you care if he goes back to W, who he doesn't love at all? Why do you want to break his heart by forcing him to leave his son? I don't object to continue the A. Eventually his W would not be able to endure her H 'side dish' and may want the D herself.
stillafool Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Well this is my first post even though I joined a month ago. I very nearly wrote on this forum about how well my affair was going with my MM and that I knew we would be part of the very small percentage of couples that would make it.... Of course I was wrong. I'm 23 and have been in a few serious relationships before I got involved with MM, he is 43 and has a 1yr old boy with his W. They have been married for 12 years. So anyway...I met him at work and it started with a few flirty emails about 4 months ago. I found him really easy to talk to and in no time we were chatting via emails all day at work and on MSN late at night for hours. We soon were meeting up in quiet rooms at work just for kisses and cuddles...the chemistry was unbelievable, i keep telling myself now that it was just because of the situation and how we both knew it was wrong but it just felt like we were meant to be... A month later we would start meeting up outside of work, sometimes for a few hours, it felt like he made alot of time for me and when we were together I was just on cloud 9, he made me feel so special the way he looked into my eyes and told me he loved me and how he wished it was us together instead. He told me he was unhappy at home and how he was just staying because of his little boy (what a surprise!) We carried on seeing each other about 3 times a week and texting and phoning everyday, talking about our future like where we would live and getting married. 3 months into the affair he said it was too much for him to bear being at home with his W and he told her he wanted a divorce...this didn't go down well with her and she turned nasty telling him that if he leaved he would hardly see his son. This broke his heart but he insisted I was worth it and he would fight to see him more. He even got the estate agents round to put their house on the market but because the house was in joint names they both had to sign...and she didn't want a separation so refused to sign!! His W also got suspicious and knew there was someone else involved, she went through his laptop and found pictures of me (not any rude ones lol) on a social networking site he had visited. She now knew that I worked for the same company and phoned me up through the switchboard demanding to know what was going on with me and her H...I had to deny everything and told her we were just friends which was sooo hard, I wanted to tell her everything! This all happened last week and on Sunday I came home to see her and her sister on my doorstep! I got out my and car and she came over and punched my jaw and started calling me every name under the sun after her sister had calmed her down a bit. She told me she knew I was texting him and demanded to see my phone as she wanted to know what we'd been talking about. I said there was nothing to see and told her to leave my property as she started being very threatening, telling me that if she didn't "kick my head in" then her mother would because she doesnt have a job or anything to lose...she only left me alone because it was time to go home and feed her son... Later on that night MM text me saying he was so sorry that happened and that he had moved out into his parents and that he would fight for his son in the courts to see him...he asked me if I still wanted to be with him and of course I said yes, he made me so happy I couldnt walk away from that even with all the aggro going on. We both took the day off work on Monday and I got a phone call around lunch time from him...he told me we had to end this and have no contact because he could face loosing his son. At that very moment my world came crashing down and my heart felt like it had been stamped on...I was in shock...I never seen this coming and now I'm in pieces. I can't stop crying. I can hardly eat. I can't work. My life feels over right now...It has only been four days but I miss him so much...yesterday a mutual friend at work, who knows everything about our A, told me he was wanting to contact me to tell me how sorry he was and that the thought of loosing his son was just too much but he passed on the message instead because our friend said it was best to have no contact... He has now moved back in with his W and I've been told they are going to make another go of it. Why have I made such a fool of myself? Has everything he told me just lies??? I'm now the one with the "homewrecker" label as it has got out at work. While he has wormed his way back in with her and coming out like he has had a little moment of madness...I'm so hurt right now so any advice would really help me...thanks for reading if you've got this far! Why did you lie to her? Why didn't you just tell her the truth, She's going to find out you were lying and may want to hurt you even more. Did you file charges on her for punching your face? You should have told her the truth. She can't keep him from seeing his son.
Chrome Barracuda Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 This woman does not just get it! Naive as hell and clueless as a bag of shrimp! 5 years we'll talk again?? WTf oh he doesnt love her he just loves the kid. (yeah anything to make you sleep better at night.) oh she attacked me. (where im from people dont attack they assualt and your lucky to still be standing.) the thing is you should not interact anymore with this man and learn from this experience dont feed into it and put on your big girl panties and stop being so naive like you dont know what your doing. You know exactly what your doing. it needs to stop... Didnt her beating you upside your head teach you anything or do you want some more because people dont always listen to restraining orders.
Author KG23 Posted August 1, 2009 Author Posted August 1, 2009 Aww Misty....sorry to hear you feel like the OW even when he's going through the seperation...it won't be forever though. MM did understand and felt awful for what happened when his W attacked me but couldn't be with me for support... I didn't press charges because his W threatened to get her family involved as they had "nothing to lose", I thought it was best at that time to leave the police out of this. Fooled once - I definitely don't want to resume the A... If he wants me the he has to get a D first. I still want him so badly because I really do love him and I can't help feeling that he's trapped in his M because she has threatened MM with never seeing his boy again... I can't wait forever though, I need to get on with my life and put me first for a change...
Author KG23 Posted August 1, 2009 Author Posted August 1, 2009 I believe MM went back to his son. He doesn't love his W. But he loves his son more than he loves you(understandable, his son is only 1 years old) Do you want to marry him soon? If not, then why do you care if he goes back to W, who he doesn't love at all? Why do you want to break his heart by forcing him to leave his son? I don't object to continue the A. Eventually his W would not be able to endure her H 'side dish' and may want the D herself. That's exactly what I believe too... It's just harder to take knowing that he wont be happy with his W. We did talk about marriage alot, I honestly thought we were meant to be! I think for my own sanity I can't resume the affair... I never wanted to be the reason to break up their M and he insisted the whole time we were together that I wasn't. If he wants to leave now, then he will but I don't want to be his OW.
Author KG23 Posted August 1, 2009 Author Posted August 1, 2009 Why did you lie to her? Why didn't you just tell her the truth, She's going to find out you were lying and may want to hurt you even more. Did you file charges on her for punching your face? You should have told her the truth. She can't keep him from seeing his son. Me and MM decided that was all we would admit to... I really did feel like telling her everything though. No it's on record but I didn't press charges...even though she hit me I kind of felt sorry for her! She would of done her best to make sure he seen him as little as possible. I don't have kids myself but I'm guessing that threat to him was just too much.
Author KG23 Posted August 1, 2009 Author Posted August 1, 2009 This woman does not just get it! Naive as hell and clueless as a bag of shrimp! 5 years we'll talk again?? WTf oh he doesnt love her he just loves the kid. (yeah anything to make you sleep better at night.) oh she attacked me. (where im from people dont attack they assualt and your lucky to still be standing.) the thing is you should not interact anymore with this man and learn from this experience dont feed into it and put on your big girl panties and stop being so naive like you dont know what your doing. You know exactly what your doing. it needs to stop... Didnt her beating you upside your head teach you anything or do you want some more because people dont always listen to restraining orders. You're right, I have been naive but I genuinely did believe everything he promised. This is one situation I WILL NOT be getting myself into again and I'm learning from my mistakes. I still love this man and care for him very much... you do stupid things when you're in love but I'm not getting into this mess again.
Spark1111 Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Wow, it is a mess, but you don't sound one bit remorseful for it. Sounds like you are gearing up for blaming him for choices you made on your own. It sucks to be in the position you are in, but its only going to get worst if you don't own your part in it. BTW, the W punched you because you lied to her, not simply because of what you are doing with her H. Its the lying part that pisses the betrayed off more than anything else. You didn't have to lie to her, you chose to lie to her. The best advice I can give is end this completely and move on. Anything less is only going to make things worst for you. (An aside: I find it interesting that he moved in with his parents after the confrontation, but then immediately stated that he had to end the affair. Wonder what his parents must have said to him? Or did he really move in with them? Interesting, however its viewed.) NID: I found this interesting also. Probably another LIE! Most likely, the BW threw him OUT and then informed his parents.
stillafool Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 Me and MM decided that was all we would admit to... I really did feel like telling her everything though. No it's on record but I didn't press charges...even though she hit me I kind of felt sorry for her! She would of done her best to make sure he seen him as little as possible. I don't have kids myself but I'm guessing that threat to him was just too much. I've known women who have told their H's if they didn't stop their "affairs" they would make sure that he doesn't see the kids. Well, when the affairs don't stop, and they h doesn't come around to see the kids, the wife retracts her statment and then complains that he doesn't spend time with the kids. I've even known women who will then send the kids over to the H and his new woman to try to break up the "love nest". So, I doubt if this woman is going to keep him from seeing his son but is threatening him with anything to make him stop seeing you. I don't understand that if he is out of the house and trying to get a divorce why do you have to keep it secret that you two are seeing each other. If I were you I would not have lied to her. He shouldn't ask you to lie about your relationship with him. It seems that he is playing games and you need to ask him to make a choice and stick with it. I'm sorry but his excuse about "I'm staying for the kids" just doesn't cut it. That excuse is so old and moldy.
NoIDidn't Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 I've known women who have told their H's if they didn't stop their "affairs" they would make sure that he doesn't see the kids. Well, when the affairs don't stop, and they h doesn't come around to see the kids, the wife retracts her statment and then complains that he doesn't spend time with the kids. I've even known women who will then send the kids over to the H and his new woman to try to break up the "love nest". So, I doubt if this woman is going to keep him from seeing his son but is threatening him with anything to make him stop seeing you. I can't help but read this as a defense of the deadbeat dad who is too busy with his new woman to even see his children. I agree with what you said, but do you see how the deadbeats that do this are actually contradicting themselves. A cheating man tells his OW that his W won't let him see his children if he continues to cheat. So he continues to cheat and doesn't bother to see his children. But the OW blames the W for HIS actions? It doesn't make any sense to me. Now, the kids are basically telling their mother that they want to see their dad. No unusual if they grew up with him always there and suddenly he's gone. But the OW sees the W trying to get the kids to see their dad as a bad thing, as her trying to break up their "love nest"? It makes absolutely no sense, unless you only take the man's side and can't see that he is basically just abandoning his kids and trying to make it look like his W made him do it.
Montclair0011 Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 You made a big mistake but you are 23 so you deserve some slack. Go NC and forgetabout him. If you can move to a new job/state/country all the better. Learn from your lesson. Someday you will be so glad this did not work out. My biggest advice for the future besides dating unmarried men: date men closer to your own age.
Recommended Posts