tojaz Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Well, today is the day. I am officaly a divorced man. I hate how it feels. I just keep picturing her jumping up and down and telling her friends how glad she is to be free. I imagine her throwing her ring into a lake somewhere. laughing at me and asking why she was so foolish to love me in the first place. Shes said that many times. I thought I would be relieved that the fight was over, that the questions would stop when all hope was lost. I thought it would end! It didn't! It comes on stronger and more ferocious with every minute. It isn't sadness or depression so much as it is imense pressure and stress. Theres nothing left but the moving on, at least thats what I keep telling myself. I loved her the best I could, but I was married and commited and she wasn't. Thats about all there really is to say. I got married out of love, she made an investment and now shes cashing out. What a perfect way to end 13 years together. Breaking it all down to dollars and cents boxes and suitcases. Good bye dear wife I guess I just loved you a lot more then you ever loved me. Take my money, take our pictures, take my heart, i won't be needing it for awhile. TOJAZ
lupa Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 I'm so, so sorry, brother. Now you are on the path to healing, as there is no other route out of here. Good luck, and godspeed. We are here when you need us.
hopesndreams Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Sorry Tojaz Keep moving on and have nothing, nothing to do with her from here on out. It's the only way.
CM2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your marriage, I wouldn't wish this that on my worst enemey. But soon you'll heal and you'll be better off without her. I know I will be makin this post very soon....
phineas Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 That was fast. I've had a good 6 months since things went south & to be honest I suspected the last few yrs & maybe that helped me to better prepare. I will be sad for the end of my marriage & planned future. But not the loss of her. So, when would it be appropriate to pawn her ring? Before divorce or after I sign the papers?
CM2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 That was fast. I've had a good 6 months since things went south & to be honest I suspected the last few yrs & maybe that helped me to better prepare. I will be sad for the end of my marriage & planned future. But not the loss of her. So, when would it be appropriate to pawn her ring? Before divorce or after I sign the papers? After you sign the papers, I still have my ring some where I think in my car. The thing is that she's still paying it off (3 1/2 yrs) I brought hers with cash so I was through with it and not stuck with no kind of payments, I may pawn it off or keep it some where with a lot of other old junk my ex girlfriends gave me through the years.....lol sucks for her :laugh::lmao:
phineas Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 After you sign the papers, I still have my ring some where I think in my car. The thing is that she's still paying it off (3 1/2 yrs) I brought hers with cash so I was through with it and not stuck with no kind of payments, I may pawn it off or keep it some where with a lot of other old junk my ex girlfriends gave me through the years.....lol sucks for her :laugh::lmao: To be honest, the credit card I used to buy her ring is part of the banruptsy. I'm just having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that i'm going dead-beat on my bills. then again, if I want to keep my house, without her income it's my only choice. It's also part of the divorce agreement because even though the debt is in my name it's debt WE accrued & my laywer said she will be responcible for half so i'm taking a hit on my credit for her. The laywer said judges note things like that if it gets ugly. According to law, she can't just can't help me rack up 10k in debt for engagement, wedding, honnymoon then commit adultry & walk away leaving me pennyless. Yay me?
Author tojaz Posted July 30, 2009 Author Posted July 30, 2009 That was fast. I've had a good 6 months since things went south & to be honest I suspected the last few yrs & maybe that helped me to better prepare. I will be sad for the end of my marriage & planned future. But not the loss of her. So, when would it be appropriate to pawn her ring? Before divorce or after I sign the papers? Yeah, it was fast as could be. about 3 months from "i'm unhappy to final" never suspected a thing until she dropped the bomb and to this day, couldn't explain her reasons 100%, although i get the jist. While, i'm depressed, I'm strangely relieved as well. The days leading up where terrible, but today wasn't really. I was sad, I cried and thought about her a lot, but the pressure wasn't there. Strange. I'd guess pawn it whenever you like. I wanted her to keep hers (not that she offered it back anyways) I'm going to keep mine too, just can't imagine pawning it or something like that, I'll just stash it away somewhere. Thanks everyone for the kind words, strangely, it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought this day would be, so thats something. TOJAZ
razghoul Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 Tojaz, I am sorry to hear it. I wish there were more success stories. You have been very helpful. Good luck. Raz
dgiirl Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 Tojaz, it hurts at first. But give yourself some time, put in the effort to heal and life will most definitely get better. Trust me on that! You have a golden opportunity to start new. Situations like this do not happen very often in our lives. You have a new chapter in your life. Embrace it! Make this situation the best thing that has ever happened to you by not wasting this opportunity. Make a better life for yourself! Start doing all the things you always wanted to do, especially all the things you couldn't do because you were in a relationship. Then start trying new things, things you never thought you would like, at least once. Be a kid again and explore the world!
Gunny376 Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 "Well I started to cry Then I said "Hey" Crying won't make her come back If it couldn't make her stay Then I said to myself That just how it is & I'm fresh out of tears.... What One woman quits Another's glad to get What One refuses Another can certainly use That's just how it is & I'm fresh out of tears I'm tired of wasting clean water On what's already gone I'm picking myself up and dusting me off & keep on keeping one I am what I am That's all I'll ever be Everybody I meet Is always try to change me But its got to be me To choose the life I live Its a brand new day And a brand new me I'd believe What will be will be I'm a good person With a lot of good love to give I believe What will be will be & I'm fresh out of tears I'm going to throw myself a party & invite all my friends & let all the ladies know I'm out here again I'm fresh out of tears Somebody lied, somebody cried Somebody flirted, and somebody hurt Tears ain't nothing but wasted water A millions dollars worth of tears Ain't worth a quarter I rather be with somebody That I don't want to be with Than to beg some woman That didn't want to be with me I'm fresh out of tears, fresh out of tears I ain't felt this good since my teenage years" Ray Charles
Gunny376 Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 I would recommend the album it takes you from the beginning to the end to post-divorce. The next to last song "Where's The Stairs!" is hysterical! :lmao:
Gunny376 Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 One of my favorite cuts from the album Child Support and Alimony She's eating steak, I'm eating boloney! Child Support, Alimony She's eating steak, I'm eating boloney! After child support and alimony I got just enough left For rent and baloney She got the house & the car & guess what I get Exclusive rights to pay for all that Can someone tell me Where a fella can find A woman who's looking for a man Who's ex-wife is getting every dime! When we got to court The woman started lying Got the judge mad at me He started crying Told my lawyer You shut your mouth! You ought to be ashame of yourself Defending this louse I said your Honor The girl is lying He said ~ Up...Your in contempt of court boy! And that's a fifty dollar fine! Child support and alimony She's eating streak, I'm eating baloney Child support and alimony She's eating steak, I'm eating baloney Man I looked at that woman I couldn't belive that was the same woman That I'd been married to all them years I mean she just kept right on talking She said "Your Honor! He's been ramblin' & a gamblin' and got a woman on the side And I'm just sick of tired of all his jive! Its time for me to make a move!" I had a good lawyer Wasn't a thing he could do I should have used hers Since I paid him too What bothers me most & hurts me within I'm paying for a house Another man is sleeping in I can't see my children Until she says when & that all depends what funky mood she's in He's driving my car Eating my food Loving my woman Even wearing my shoes I got the Rabbit She got the Caddie She's even got my children Callin' him Daddy!
Ariadne Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 Sorry about the divorce tojaz, and cheers to a new beginning.
Ariadne Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 "Well I started to cry Then I said "Hey" Crying won't make her come back... (I just love Gunny's encouragement posts )
Author tojaz Posted July 31, 2009 Author Posted July 31, 2009 Thanks everyone, great stuff Gunny, I'll have to check out the album. TOJAZ
KellyP Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 Listen to them TOJAZ. This is a new beginning for you. You'll see! -------------------LoveYa Kel
Saxis Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 I am not sorry. Congratulations! Think of it like winning the lottery: at first it's just an unbelievable ball of emotions, but... you'll warm up to the idea.
Author tojaz Posted August 6, 2009 Author Posted August 6, 2009 I am not sorry. Congratulations! Think of it like winning the lottery: at first it's just an unbelievable ball of emotions, but... you'll warm up to the idea. I hope your right Saxis, time will tell! Tojaz
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