Taucher Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 It is 11AM. Today, I have been mostly feeling:- AngrySadHappyShockedDisbeliefCalmSickBoredTenseUpsetDepressedAll this, in about 3 hours! 10 weeks after she left me. Yesterday a new emotion came into my head. Excitement. I was, briefly, excited about meeting someone else, before Sadness kicked in, only to be replaced 2 minutes later by a feeling of Serenity. Why wont my head just keep out of it? I'm exhausted. I'm not usually a very emotional person. But this one person, who doesnt deserve me, is making me feel all this. Anyone else the same? Surely must be most of you? Gah! T
dianna Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 i feel you ..today I woke up in a good mood ..10 sec then ..felt angry,almost crying because i had no message from him. I so hate it when im like that ..my family says to move on to bla bla ..im like " leave me aloneeeee" . Good thing im not suicidal .....but im a emotional rollercoaster.
Sbrizio Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 i am in the same state... - wake up unusually cool and confident, - then 1 hr later memories started and i got down to sadness, - then the ideas of her new BF creeped up and i turned to tense/hangry - then selfconscience of this repeating cycle kicked in and i moved to boredom/depression - and now i think that i've not yet lost hopes completely so i'm foreseeing more additionals ups and downs in the forthcoming moments... I hate this. And, at the same time, i fear the numbness of simple serenity, because it would imply that i forgot what real happiness was like...anyone have the same idea?
vring81 Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 I also have moments of excitement about the future. They are usually short lived but I try to think of it as positive to even have that feeling. June was devastating, July has been horrible, I'm hoping August will just be bad
dianna Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 And now..im feeling like crap...thinking ..where the hell is he? argh !!!!!
broken_promises Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 This is absolutely one of the most frustrating things about the whole breakup process for me. If I could just stay in one phase of grief for a while, then move onto the next, etc. I would feel better. But the rapid changes!!! Ugh! It's like I can't grab hold of anything because, two minutes later, I could be feeling something completely different. For example, right after my ex called and left a message the other day, I felt confident and excited that I had been out doing something fun and not been available to take his call. But that can morph into everything from ANGER at the fact that he waited over a month to call, to thinking about the new life he has now, to all of the callous things he said at the end to SADNESS two seconds later about feeling guilty that I should call back, to wondering if that was really hard for him to call, etc. I just hate how transient these emotions are and how they can give false hope that you are getting better one second (when you are excited for a future plan or something) to devastating when you slip into a depression cycle. 1
Author Taucher Posted July 30, 2009 Author Posted July 30, 2009 i feel you ..today I woke up in a good mood ..10 sec then ..felt angry,almost crying because i had no message from him. I so hate it when im like that ..my family says to move on to bla bla ..im like " leave me aloneeeee" . Good thing im not suicidal .....but im a emotional rollercoaster. dianna isn't it better that you dont hear from him? A text from my ex usually makes me feel a whole lot worse, although I dont know your circumstances. Sbrizio - you are right. It is better to feel something in the short term I think. But I would rather be indifferent to her eventually. This is too much strees to be carrying around forever. vring81 - well put. It seems that we are at the same point, roughtly. I too had a devastating June, and July was pretty sh*tty too. Yes it is positive to be excited about the future, no matter how fleeting the feeling is. 2 months ago I would not have thought that it was possible. T
yharden Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 It is 11AM. Today, I have been mostly feeling:- AngrySadHappyShockedDisbeliefCalmSickBoredTenseUpsetDepressedAll this, in about 3 hours! 10 weeks after she left me. Yesterday a new emotion came into my head. Excitement. I was, briefly, excited about meeting someone else, before Sadness kicked in, only to be replaced 2 minutes later by a feeling of Serenity. Why wont my head just keep out of it? I'm exhausted. I'm not usually a very emotional person. But this one person, who doesnt deserve me, is making me feel all this. Anyone else the same? Surely must be most of you? Gah! T I feel you. I am not an emotional person either, but when I lost the man of my dreams, the man I loved I became this person I did not even recognize. I was such an emotional mess for two months. I could not eat or sleep, or function in any real capacity, and that is so not like me. However, it does get easier so hang in there.
Author Taucher Posted July 30, 2009 Author Posted July 30, 2009 This is absolutely one of the most frustrating things about the whole breakup process for me. If I could just stay in one phase of grief for a while, then move onto the next, etc. I would feel better. But the rapid changes!!! Ugh! It's like I can't grab hold of anything because, two minutes later, I could be feeling something completely different. For example, right after my ex called and left a message the other day, I felt confident and excited that I had been out doing something fun and not been available to take his call. But that can morph into everything from ANGER at the fact that he waited over a month to call, to thinking about the new life he has now, to all of the callous things he said at the end to SADNESS two seconds later about feeling guilty that I should call back, to wondering if that was really hard for him to call, etc. I just hate how transient these emotions are and how they can give false hope that you are getting better one second (when you are excited for a future plan or something) to devastating when you slip into a depression cycle. You have explained it perfectly. However, what also gets me is how sometimes my mood can change for no apparant reason. I can think about her and be ok about it and then 2hours later, it hits me like a massive shock...and thats when I am thinking about something apart from my ex at work or something. Anyone else get mood changes even when they arent directly thinking of their ex? T
dianna Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Taucher - Yeah..its better in a way..but..blah..dunno..it feels wrong in any way ..my story ..you can see it in my post...im so angry that we are in the same class in college ARGH..1 october is gonna be the worst day ever
Soul Bear Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Ok, so just my little bit of advice, but if you are feeling a range of emotions for a few days running, might i suggest you take 2 or 3 days OFF LS. My guess is you are on here A LOT?! This place is GREAT, but take a few days off and do some things for you, trust me, please trust me, it WILL help you 1
annxxdisaster Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 It is 11AM. Today, I have been mostly feeling:- AngrySadHappyShockedDisbeliefCalmSickBoredTenseUpsetDepressed Anyone else the same? Surely must be most of you? I do, but it's called my period.
Road To Joy Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 It is 11AM. Today, I have been mostly feeling:- AngrySadHappyShockedDisbeliefCalmSickBoredTenseUpsetDepressed All this, in about 3 hours! 10 weeks after she left me. Yesterday a new emotion came into my head. Excitement. I was, briefly, excited about meeting someone else, before Sadness kicked in, only to be replaced 2 minutes later by a feeling of Serenity. Why wont my head just keep out of it? I'm exhausted. I'm not usually a very emotional person. But this one person, who doesnt deserve me, is making me feel all this. Anyone else the same? Surely must be most of you? Gah! T Same. Exact. Feelings. Before my ex broke NC, I hadn't had any contact with her in about 4-6 weeks. I started feeling excitement and hope, and that's when she came and broke me down all over again. Back to square one. The most recent 'new' feeling, which I just started experiencing today is DISGUST. I don't know why, either. I just feel disgusted. As when as all the ones you mentioned. You're right -- it IS exhausting. My head hurts so much from thinking/feeling(?) too much. And I've been out all day trying to distract myself. All I want to do right now is hammer my head and go to sleep. I'm not exactly depressed, or suicidal. I don't want to cry right now, either. I'm just really f*cking TIRED. My head won't leave me aloneeee.
Author Taucher Posted July 31, 2009 Author Posted July 31, 2009 Same. Exact. Feelings. Before my ex broke NC, I hadn't had any contact with her in about 4-6 weeks. I started feeling excitement and hope, and that's when she came and broke me down all over again. Back to square one. The most recent 'new' feeling, which I just started experiencing today is DISGUST. I don't know why, either. I just feel disgusted. As when as all the ones you mentioned. You're right -- it IS exhausting. My head hurts so much from thinking/feeling(?) too much. And I've been out all day trying to distract myself. All I want to do right now is hammer my head and go to sleep. I'm not exactly depressed, or suicidal. I don't want to cry right now, either. I'm just really f*cking TIRED. My head won't leave me aloneeee. Exactly! And the funny thing is, I felt disgust (I think - hard to tell with so many emotions) today. Disgusted at her. Like, how DARE she do this? In the way she has done it? Has she got no respect for EITHER of us? Like you, I am not suicidal or depressed, just slightly...manic. But today has mostly been about feeling angry. But feeling angry ALWAYS leads on to feeling guilty and sad. How can I be angry with someone who is, still, a sweet person who is the sexiest woman I have ever met and who I am STILL (why?!) in love with. And then I start pitying her. Ugh. T
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