Confusedalways Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 I'm curious if, on the whole, you all know how many past sexual partners your current partner has had? Do you ask outright? Or is saying 'I'm clean, and that's all you need to know' cut it for some of you? Do you respond honestly when others ask you for your number? I think for me, I am by nature an extremely curious person and legitimately want to know how many people someone I am getting close with has slept with. I always answer honestly when a guy [i'm serious about] asks me for my number... just curious how others out there react. A female friend of mine was telling me today her current boyfriend is under the impression she's slept with 3 people when she's slept with 12, so I wanted to hear others opinions!
Trialbyfire Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 I think it important that people discuss past relationships, like duration, etc. Historical patterning is meaningful. So yes, I asked straight out but not details since what occurs in the bedroom between two people, is their business, and yes, I'm honest with my partners. Anyone else asks, I might or might not tell, since it's none of their business.
SoulSearch_CO Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Yes, I ask. But it's merely because I'm curious, not because I want to judge them. I'm curious to know about people's backgrounds. So I generally ask about everything. And I'm definitely honest. I think your partner has a right to know.
carhill Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 I never have asked, but always encourage disclosure. Women never seem to have any problem telling me all the intimate details of their past, sometimes to my chagrin. And, as I have often shared with my female friend, I have no skeletons in my closet that are upset by rattling, so ask away
boldjack Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Both I and my wife are open books. Anything she needs to know, I will tell her. The same is true for her. That way , no surprises.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Yes. If I begin a relationship with a man, it's because I want a lasting, committed relationship with him. I think it's important to know about his sexual history and stance on sexuality in general, and it's important for him to know about mine. I don't ask for details, but I have exchanged some voluntarily with previous boyfriends, during in-depth conversations about sexuality. This information can give you a lot of insight into your partner's sexuality and be very educational. If I am in love with someone, I find him and his psychology endlessly fascinating and want to know what makes him tick. It has never been a source of jealousy or discomfort -- just education.
Lizzie60 Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 The only question I will allow them to ask or ask myself.. is how many 'serious' relationships they had.. and how long they lasted.. As for the rest, if they had ONS.. or whatever.. is NOT my business.. anyway.. there is nothing we can change about the past.. so deal with it.. I would never ever divulge how many partners I've had.. it's no one's business..
New Again Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 In the past I have always asked (or he asked), and always answered honestly. I never asked my current guy how many women he's slept with. I just never wanted to know, and didn't think I needed to know, and that no good could come from knowing. I believe his number is pretty high. At one point he asked me how many guys I'd been with. To this day I still don't know why I did, but I LIED. I wish I hadn't answered (honestly or otherwise). After I answered, he didn't even give me a chance to ask him (I wouldn't have); he just said he wouldn't tell me, because basically of what I said above: no good could come of it.
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