dixiepix Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Will try to make long story short. Me previous marriage-1kid. Him still a kid himself...4 yrs younger. 14 years later, we have 4 kids. 3, 5, 8, 17. He has been a functional alcoholic the past 14 year. 14 years ago the company he worked for at the time put him through a "schooling" of how to persuade / manipulate people into your way of thinking. I called it brainwashing school> My life has been hell since. He white lies about everything. He used to hide porn all over. Now you don't even have to prove you're 18 to watch on the internet so he can cover his tracks easily, but has texts to friends suggesting sites and plenty of stuff saved on his cell. Years ago, we talked about it and how it degraded me as a person and as a wife and we agreed to do it together. Now he, again is getting up at 3:30 in the morning to view it on the internet. I know this because he told his friends via text about the sites just a few days ago. And we are not doing it together like we agreed. He lies about where he goes, what he does, etc. stupid stuff. But how can anyone continue to trust a person who lies all the time. If they lie about stupid stuff, they surely lie about the stuff that matters...RIGHT? He is an alcoholic. Functional....works etc. Great job. I used to blame the drinking on job difficulties. But it is much more. I know I can't fix it, but our children are at the ages they notice. He passes out in the floor or in the chair and comes to bed about 2 am. Sometimes he get confused and pees in corners of rooms or on furniture. Darn it, if I know he's had too much, I can't sleep because I have to get out of bed to redirect him to the bathroom. He sometimes gets confused and ends up in one of the kids beds. I am at a loss. Looking for suggestions. I love him but am tired of having an adult child. I need a companion and friend to help me raise these 4 children. I also have to wonder how their lives will be or turn out if I stay? Yes, there is certainly a control issue on his part. I go very few places...who would leave their children for very long with this person? He won't allow me to work because it does not fit into his schedule. So here I am... or where am I? I am a God fearing and God loving woman, who is looking for suggestions. I love my husband and will always love him. But I know he keeps me from being the best mother and Christian I could be. All replies welcome.
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