SoulSearch_CO Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 In light of the ever-present "is this a FWB...can it become more" threads, I had a couple questions for the GUYS. Since male brains work differently than female brains, especially when it comes to sex. 1. If you see a woman as a FWB or ONS, is it EVER possible to change your view after having had NSA sex with her that you'd rather have a LTR with her? 2. If yes to previous question, give me a stat about HOW likely this is to happen. (like a percentage, or one in a billion, etc) 3. If you are in a FWB situation with a girl and you decide that you want her as your girlfriend, would you likely TELL her, or drop little hints (like letting her use your toothbrush, introducing her to friends, etc...seems some girls think these are "hints")? Would love to hear answers on this. I already have opinions about this, but I'm open to being wrong. I just wish more girls would pay attention to what a guy says instead of looking for little hints that he's madly in love with her.
Jimmy's_Brother Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 1. If you see a woman as a FWB or ONS, is it EVER possible to change your view after having had NSA sex with her that you'd rather have a LTR with her? Yes. But I'm a big sensitive softie type. 2. If yes to previous question, give me a stat about HOW likely this is to happen. (like a percentage, or one in a billion, etc) 10%. 3. If you are in a FWB situation with a girl and you decide that you want her as your girlfriend, would you likely TELL her, or drop little hints (like letting her use your toothbrush, introducing her to friends, etc...seems some girls think these are "hints")? I don't even know if people "tell" each other, "I want you as my GF," anymore. I would prob. give her gifts and the like. Gotta be honest, from the subtext it sounds like you're in a FWB situation where you want to be the girlfriend.
carhill Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 IME, about the same likelihood as getting out of a woman's friendzone, which is essentially the corollary
Author SoulSearch_CO Posted July 30, 2009 Author Posted July 30, 2009 I don't even know if people "tell" each other' date=' "I want you as my GF," anymore. I would prob. give her gifts and the like. [/quote'] So you would go the "hinting" route rather than being straight-up and saying something like, "I'm falling in love with you." Gotta be honest' date=' from the subtext it sounds like you're in a FWB situation where you want to be the girlfriend.[/quote'] Negative. Gag. Been in FWBs before and I know they never go anywhere. I'm crystal clear on that. Read my response in the most recent FWB threads. I'm wishing more girls would pay attention because I think it sucks to have to learn that lesson. But really, I guess it's more powerful to learn it firsthand. I just want them to go into these kinds of things armed with knowledge. FYI, actually just recently broke up with my BF and not interested in guys at all right now. No, that doesn't mean I'm experimenting. LOL I just want to be alone for awhile.
Author SoulSearch_CO Posted July 30, 2009 Author Posted July 30, 2009 IME, about the same likelihood as getting out of a woman's friendzone, which is essentially the corollary LMAO - ****ing brilliant. I never thought of it that way.
carhill Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Have a more relaxed perspective about dating and to believe what a man says when he says he's 'too busy' for a relationship. Very few men are too busy to get their noodle conveniently wet, which is what FWB is all about. Like I was telling Soul_Search, it's an essential need for a man, much like emotional validation is for a woman. A friendzoned man's tamponesque receptacle is much like a woman's vagina, hence the relative terminology
stargirl1984 Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Thread jack above if there ever was one........... Sorry. Jeez. I only said that because this thread was started after the OP had responded to my FWB thread. So I just wanted to clarify. I wasn't trying to be rude to anyone OR jack the thread.
Author SoulSearch_CO Posted July 30, 2009 Author Posted July 30, 2009 Sorry. Jeez. I only said that because this thread was started after the OP had responded to my FWB thread. So I just wanted to clarify. I wasn't trying to be rude to anyone OR jack the thread. LOL...SG - The reason I started the thread is because there ARE so many "is this a FWB" threads. Not merely yours. Whatever circumstances are special to yours, that's fine. But I just think girls need to understand when a guy says "FWB" and you would be open to an actual relationship, you need to run. That was my point in posting this. I see WAY too many "yeah but"s in those threads when you try to tell the girl what's going on. Why doesn't anybody want to listen to the guy? I don't get it. But I do respectfully request that further reference to YOUR situation be posted in YOUR thread. This is getting off track. I have a specific purpose for this thread, as stated in the OP. This thread was not TARGETED to you. There are MANY women that ask your same question.
sumdude Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Since I'm sort of in my first FWB situation so I'll comment on it. I think it's one of the rare reversed FWB as far as the genders in a way. She initiated it. She seems to think I want more and says she's worried about hurting my feelings. I sort of want more but also know she's not a great long term match for me. So yeah I want more but not necessarily with her. It's kind of a strange convenience thing that sometimes I'm comfortable with and sometimes I'm not. Sometimes I wonder if she's actually more into me than she let's on, is testing me and projecting her anxieties on me... but mind reading is usually futile LOL
boogieboy Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 1. If you see a woman as a FWB or ONS, is it EVER possible to change your view after having had NSA sex with her that you'd rather have a LTR with her? 2. If yes to previous question, give me a stat about HOW likely this is to happen. (like a percentage, or one in a billion, etc) 3. If you are in a FWB situation with a girl and you decide that you want her as your girlfriend, would you likely TELL her, or drop little hints (like letting her use your toothbrush, introducing her to friends, etc...seems some girls think these are "hints")? 1.) No. If the guy is in control of the situation,and he sees her as a ONS or FWB, then he never took her seriously in the first place, so he would never want to be with her seriously. 3.) if I was in an FWB situation, and it was by her choice, I would ride it out until she decided if she wanted to take it further. Usually an FWB situation by a woman is sensitive, and if I play my hand too soon, it will turn her off.
joseffrost Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 1.) No. If the guy is in control of the situation,and he sees her as a ONS or FWB, then he never took her seriously in the first place, so he would never want to be with her seriously. Not so. I met my ex on a night out and she went from being an ONS to FWB to us spending 2 years together as a couple, and I was in control... in those days anyway.
boogieboy Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Not so. I met my ex on a night out and she went from being an ONS to FWB to us spending 2 years together as a couple, and I was in control... in those days anyway. You might want to elaborate on that for SoulSearch, what was the situation, how did you finally figure out to date her seriously, etc...
joseffrost Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 You might want to elaborate on that for SoulSearch, what was the situation, how did you finally figure out to date her seriously, etc... At the time I was doing well with the women - I'm not saying that to brag, it was just a fruitful time for me. I was shallow, disloyal and a complete player, but the combination of a. needing to give up that lifestyle, and b. spending more time with her and realising that I had deeper feelings for her, made me see her as more than just a FWB. I admit that our situation was a big fat exception to the rule, and completely relied on me changing my ways and her always wanting more in the first place but initially settling for less. But it shows that it, like most things, is possible.
gopher Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 I've tried doing FWB with an ex, didn't work for me, because she started wanting to get back together...
samspade Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 In light of the ever-present "is this a FWB...can it become more" threads, I had a couple questions for the GUYS. Since male brains work differently than female brains, especially when it comes to sex. 1. If you see a woman as a FWB or ONS, is it EVER possible to change your view after having had NSA sex with her that you'd rather have a LTR with her? 2. If yes to previous question, give me a stat about HOW likely this is to happen. (like a percentage, or one in a billion, etc) 3. If you are in a FWB situation with a girl and you decide that you want her as your girlfriend, would you likely TELL her, or drop little hints (like letting her use your toothbrush, introducing her to friends, etc...seems some girls think these are "hints")? Would love to hear answers on this. I already have opinions about this, but I'm open to being wrong. I just wish more girls would pay attention to what a guy says instead of looking for little hints that he's madly in love with her. I'd probably let her chase me (in that fashion). However, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. My $.02
lovers69 Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Maybe i'll change my view. But normally, first impression lasts. But I won't give hints like letting her use my tootbrush.lol
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