Mino Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Ugh, I am a mess again... mm is cleaning out the apartment. He wanted me to take all the furniture. I cant bare the thought of taking this stuff, for it will always remind me of him. I ended up saying I will take some of it. He has shown up twice this week, to drop things off. Both times he starts crying. He says he misses me, he does not know if he is doing the right thing going home. He then plays a song for me on his phone and says that shoud have been our wedding song.cried some more. Then he sobs. Is he just out to torture me? He is doing a good job., I have cried all day again. Tomorrow he will drop of the rest of the stuff. I am already dreading it. Not only of the emotional end of the tears, but closing down a condo where we spent 11 months together every night. I knew this day would come, I thought I was prepared, but I feel like I am getting thrown back to square one, my heart feels like its going to explode, I cant find the energy to get out of bed, why is this so f* ing hard...and why is he doing this to me again. 3 times is enough...
Lyssa Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 He's messing with you, Mino and that's not cool. He has decided to move back home so let him do that. He made that choice.
2sunny Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 cut him off! NC! he's manipulating you. he made a decision and now he's just hurting you more, geez, i could just slap him!
OpenBook Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 why is he doing this to me again. 3 times is enough... I think that's the Question of the Year, Mino. What's the point? He's drawing this out way too long, IMO. (Does it really take 3+ visits to drop off stuff to you??) Is he a drama queen or something? Has he always been like this? And what exactly does he expect you to do while he's sitting there sobbing and blubbering and carrying-on?????
GreenEyedLady Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 OMG! You need a man not a baby! I agree with Openbook. He's dragging this out...again...Do you have to be there tomorrow? Why can't he go and leave the key under the mat or something? He made his choice now he can live with it. ((HUGS))
jj33 Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Why are you taking the furniture if you dont want it? Sell it on ebay. Give it to charity or a second hand shop. Not your responsibility to take it. Let him dump it wherever he needs to. And as GEL said he made his choice (3x) hes no longer your problem. Let him cry to his wife.
jj33 Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 And you know what. Its HIS apartment. NOT YOURS. He took out the lease. He ended the lease. Whether he is renting it out to a travelling circus, ending the lease or going bankrupt making the rent payments, none of it is your problem. NC or he will keep tugging at your heart strings.
bentnotbroken Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Send the furniture to a shelter for battered women, they can use it. Change your number, block your email, and stop answering your door. MINO----HELLO, you can stop some of the pain. Why stand there, watch the knife coming and brace for the pain? Get the hell out of the way and let him wallow in his own mess.
MistyK Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Mino, This guy is being so incredibly selfish it is unbelieveable. It seems clear that he's unwilling to live with the decision he made and STILL wants it both ways. After all he's put you through, it is unconscionable that he's doing this to you. If nothing else, it should be extremely clear at this point that you'll never be able to trust his intentions or feel safe with him because he wants both, no compromise. It would appear from your other posts that his W is willing to look the other way, so unfortunately it has to be you to set him straight. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. ((((Mino))))
PhoenixRise Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Do you think after all his time with you he doesn't know how to pull at your heartstrings? This is manipulation designed to keep you emotionally emeshed with him while he goes home to his wife. Is he expecting you to comfort him while he cries about the decision he consciously made that hurt YOU so badly? Make him stop with this slow trickle of dropping things off. Do not watch him cry. Do not listen to any more songs. If you don't want the furniture, if you think it will hurt you to see it or use it, then don't keep it. Give it away. Sell it. I am sorry that you are hurting and I hope things get better for you soon.
donnamaybe Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 I agree with all the rest. He is just trying to get you dangling back on that same old string again. Tell him to f off!
2sure Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Drama Queen. I didnt know men could be this dramatic. His theatrics are approaching feminine. I mean, I like sensitive guys but this is not attractive. The sooner you completely extricate yourself physically from him , the sooner your heart will move on as well. I can tell you that there will come a day, when you look back on him and say YUCK. I know, I know, but its true.
whichwayisup Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Get a friend to be there when he shows up, that way you don't have to see or talk to him again. He's TOTALLY trying to manipulate you! Pulling on your heart strings, crying, trying to make you feel sorry for him...F**K that. HE isn't respecting YOUR wishes for NC. HE isn't caring what this is doing to you. Once again, it's ALL about him and his feelings, his needs. GEL is right, he is baby and you need a man.
me003 Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Mino.. either leave the keys under the mat, or if you MUST be there take a guy/girl from work (or anywhere )and have them be there. Then donate the stuff he leaves... it will do another family extremely happy and it will make you happy to know that someone will enjoy the furniture that would have made you so unhappy to see everyday. good luck
tami-chan Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Why are you taking the furniture if you dont want it? Sell it on ebay. Give it to charity or a second hand shop. Not your responsibility to take it. Let him dump it wherever he needs to. And as GEL said he made his choice (3x) hes no longer your problem. Let him cry to his wife. I agree with you JJ. Do not take the furniture. Tell him to dispose of it as he see fit, so he does not have to come by your place....call and tell him no more dropping by or you will call the police. Mino, do not lose yourself in despair. Have a good cry, then get up, get dressed and do something for you or for someone who needs your help. BTW, a beautiful, gold Roman-sandal inspired stilleto is waiting to be picked up by you in your favorite shoe store.....c'mon, Mino!!!!!!
jj33 Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Exactly Tami. I cant imagine anything sadder (well its up there anyway) than having the furniture that he you were supposed to use together in his new apartment in your home dropped off by a crying man. That is the last thing you need. As Bent said let him give it to a women's shelter. He doesnt get to cry to you anymore. If he has things on his mind he cant say to his wife he can go to IC. No longer your problem.
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