Tony T Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Interesting article in Newsweek about two men, two women and their kids living together, playing sexual musical chairs, but not calling it polygamy. It's apparently the "new thing." Though it's not for me, seems people are just getting sexually bored...but the idea sounds stinky to me. You can read more about it here: http://www.newsweek.com/id/209164 Not for the other man/woman category...it's not that sort of thing at all. We'll have to make a new category on LoveShack for the problems it will create...haha!
sxyNYCcpl Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 FWIW, Tristan Taormino (famous for books on polygamy and other sexual topics) is a friend of mine and she gave this article a thumbs up. I haven't yet read it, but poly, like swinging or any other alternative lifestyle is probably bigger than you think... Wouldn't surprise me one bit to learn that some of the regulars are in poly relationships of one form or another.
BadKittyNo Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 " I haven't yet read it, but poly, like swinging or any other alternative lifestyle is probably bigger than you think... " Absolutely. Just because you don't hear about it doesn't mean it isn't going on. All of the long-term stable and happy poly families I have personally met tend to be discreet about it. They're all low-drama individuals in low-drama relationships and just have no desire to deal with other peoples' negativity and ugliness, so they keep the particulars of their relationships on a "need to know" basis. You'd be surprised at how many "housemates" are actually involved in a group relationship. Or how many "friends" who visit often are actually more than friends. If any of my neighbors have a clue that our "friend" who has been spending a lot of time at the house for the past few years is really my other significant other, they haven't worked up the guts to actually ask us about it. And if they did, I'd lie and throw down the shocked and appalled "how could you even think that?" card. The three of us are extremely low-drama individuals and we just flat out do not want or need other peoples' crap over how we choose to live our life. We're happy, our life is good, we just want to go about our business of living it without any trouble from anybody else. If my other significant other moves in with us someday, then as far as the rest of the world is concerned, he is a housemate and that's all they need to know. I'd guess for every poly family that is "out" there are at least a few who aren't.
Trialbyfire Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Interesting article in Newsweek about two men, two women and their kids living together, playing sexual musical chairs, but not calling it polygamy. It's apparently the "new thing." Though it's not for me, seems people are just getting sexually bored...but the idea sounds stinky to me. You can read more about it here: http://www.newsweek.com/id/209164 The one thing that immediately comes to mind, are jurisdictions where people become common-law, solely by clocked off time cohabitating. Not for the other man/woman category...it's not that sort of thing at all. We'll have to make a new category on LoveShack for the problems it will create...haha! The Group relationship forum: Got too much on your plate or in your bed, discuss your problems in this forum.
sxyNYCcpl Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 If any of my neighbors have a clue that our "friend" who has been spending a lot of time at the house for the past few years is really my other significant other, they haven't worked up the guts to actually ask us about it. And if they did, I'd lie and throw down the shocked and appalled "how could you even think that?" card. We're not poly, we're just swingers, though I suppose I have no philosophical objection should a swing-friend (or couple) morph into poly of some kind or another. OTOH, we are pretty open about it, most friends and neighbors know, some family members are kept in the dark but not all, and we don't go out of our way in our professional lives to broadcast it, but we don't hide it either. We have NEVER had a single bad experience when breaking the news to someone, usually it is followed by utter fascination and 120 questions. Never been asked directly in person, but if I were, I would tell the truth unless A: I thought my job was potentially at stake, B: a few specific individuals would get a lie (such as my MOM lol), or C: if I don't know you or don't like you, you'd get MYOB. I was directly asked by one guy via email, curious because my facebook party pics are a bit "racy" and when told the truth he replied something along the lines of "You guys rock!"
BadKittyNo Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 " We have NEVER had a single bad experience when breaking the news to someone, usually it is followed by utter fascination and 120 questions. " I wish that were the case. We live in the "Bible Belt", so that pretty much explains it all. The first person I told was a good friend of over ten years and she was SO angry and lashed out at me really viciously and tried to shame and bully me into ending the relationship. That shook me up so badly that I have really not felt safe telling many other people, so only a few good friends and close family members know. My husband works for a very conservative employer (who is very vocal about his Christian family values) and we live in a "right to work" state so the boss would be completely within his legal rights to fire my husband over it because it goes against his personal beliefs and morals. Nobody at or related to his job can know that my O.S.O is anything but a good friend. Right now, we just need the income and medical coverage more than we need to be "out". As far as neighbors? Same thing. It may be a good sized suburban town but there is still not a diversity-tolerant kind of vibe here and you never know who might take their disapproval too far and do something scary to us or our house or cars. We're not planning on staying here forever, but for now, it is what it is.
sxyNYCcpl Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 The first person I told was a good friend of over ten years and she was SO angry and lashed out at me really viciously and tried to shame and bully me into ending the relationship. If anyone ever reacted in that way, I'd be ending a relationship all right. The one with them. I genuinely feel for you living in an environment like that. If I did, I'd be looking to get out as quickly as humanly possible. In the meantime, though, I might just be so public and blatant that I'd cause a real stir. Or maybe just to spite everyone, I'd cause a stir and then NOT move lol.
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