My boyfriend's sister hates me and his friends dislike me...how will this work?

[StrawberrySwirl]

I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and it's becoming a very serious relationship.

 

He has three younger sisters, the eldest of whom has decided she hates me for no reason. I've been kind to her from day one, but she's the type of person who will hold absolutely anything against another person and is very vengeful and mean as a result. (She actually commanded the dog she was watching for a week to "attack" me when I was got onto the main floor of their house and had a very excited and "I'm-going-to-win-you-b*tch" look in her eyes...very evil).

 

A few weeks ago, when I calmly asked her why she doesn't like me, she started assuming things about me that are not true, judged me, and went as far as insulting my family (who she has never met and knows nothing about). Mind you, she doesn't know much about me either - all her accusations were lies about me, and yet, truths about herself. My guess is that she's angry with herself and is projecting her image on me. It's easier to hate someone else than to hate oneself, right? Either way, it really hurt my feelings as it felt like a personal attack.

 

When she asked me what I have done for her brother up until this point, I told her. None of the things I've done cost a lot of money, but she herself has openly claimed she likes men with money. She comfortably used over $2000 of her last boyfriend's money for a vacation and accepted a $1000 TV (they were together for a few months, they were just friends before that). When I told her about the gifts for her brother, she sarcastically said, "Oh yeah, it's the thought that counts, right?" I responded by letting her know that I don't care for money the way she does. She stopped yelling for a few seconds and then went on and on about other things.

 

In addition, two of his close friends don't like me. One of them tried to convince my boyfriend that I was cheating on him early in our relationship, and now he just doesn't like me for no reason. Another one of his friends is being just as juvenile by saying that my boyfriend has been spending too much time with me (I saw him three evenings a week for two months, before that I was seeing him once a week for almost a whole year). His friends are used to dropping by whenever they want and expecting him to be available, so I suppose they're not used to sharing. His friends also live the partying lifestyles and are not in serious relationships...it doesn't seem like they really care about being in them either.

 

A major case of juveniles?? His family (mother, other two sisters, uncle, aunt, cousins, etc.) all really like me aside from these cases. Any advice? how can a relationship work if there's so much drama from one end? My family and friends like my boyfriend and have no issues. I'm very family-oriented and I'm very easy to get along with. I can't even remember the last time I had issues getting along with others around me.

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, this has been making me worry and stressing me out lately...Please help or give any feedback you can!! Thank you!

[Adunaphel]

Ouch, what a sister-from-hell.

The good news is that you will get the chance to know a lot about your bf in relatively little time.

What are his reactions?

If he is enabling this behaviour from his sister, or even minimizing it, I'd suggest that you run away as fast as possible.

In my opinion friends and relatives (expecially relatives you are not dependent upon) will mistreat your partners only as long as you allow them to.

[StrawberrySwirl]

My boyfriend doesn't support her behavior, he was really upset about it as well. She does suffer from bipolar, but when I asked him whether this was coming from the disorder or from her, he told me that even he and his family members don't know sometimes because she's just naturally quite vicious when she wants to be. He keeps telling me to be the bigger person, which I am, but a part of me really wants to tell her off if she ever decides to say anything to me again. When I saw her a week after the incident, she just stared at me like she wanted to kill me...same goes for a month ago when I brought her tim bits and wished her a happy birthday.

 

Ugh, how do I deal with her?? How can the relationship work with his friends? I like his friends at the exception of the two mentionned (for obvious reasons).