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I backed off, but how can i stop thinking about him???


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Posted

Some more details about this are my boyfriend has been making me less and less of a priority. He was basically calling all the shots when we got together. I didnt like this, it bothered me so much, but i love him and i never said a word. But lately, i know that this isnt fair. I know i should have been more direct 5 months ago, but i guess i was hoping as he got to know me, we would see each other more. I set up most the dates, he did initiate some contact, but it wasnt 50/50. Last month, i thought things were getting better. He would text me at night and asked if i was thinking about him. So, i have backed off. He called me Sunday, he text me Monday, nothing last night. In the past, he would have text me and ask how my day was. Which makes me think that maybe Monday he was just bored. I dont think its right for me to be pursuing him, enough is enough. From what i know, if a man is truly interested, he will get in contact with you and see whats up if he hasnt heard from you.

 

I have been going through all the emotions last night. I just saw him last week, and he was saying all these things to me and i thought we were becoming closer. But then maybe it was just a smokescreen because if we were he would want to see me more often, and its been a week now. I cant stand it, looking at my phone, thinking of him non-stop...what can i do?

 

And another thing, the last guy i dated in January wont stop texting me,(he did the same thing this guy is doing) and i am clearly not interested. Why on earth do guys come running after the fact??? ugh! so frustrated!

Posted

Guys feel most comfortable when they are pursuing something. It is something we know how to do. It's something we are raised to do. What we don't know is how to nurture a relationship. It is a skill we (hopefully) learn over time. As boys, we are not trained to nurture relationships. We are only trained on how to get into relationships.

 

The actions of your man speak volumes. He is telling you what he wants through his actions.

 

Do you still really want to be with this guy? Or do you want to be with someone who treats you like you deserve to be treated?

Posted

Go out. Leave the phone at home. Preferably go out with friends. Go to a club. Do some dancing. IF (big if) he does message you while you're gone, it'll still be there when you get home. It's not going to magically vanish. But at least if you're not there when it rolls in, you won't respond right away. Go do ANYTHING out of the house, leaving the phone at home. See a movie, go to a bookstore, ANYTHING.

 

It eventually gets easier. Trust me.

Posted

Yeah and try telling the guy you dont want to text you to "stop contacting me, im not interested". Dont lead him on by not telling him to stop.

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