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He's coming over to drop off my stuff. This is horrible.


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Posted

Hi everyone.

 

I've been here since Sunday. I've posted the story (no-one replied!) I've spoken with friends and family and I've read a hell of lot of posts and advice about how you cope.

 

I know that things were obviously not as good as I thought they were, or he wouldn't have left. We were as in love as ever, one minute and he was gone the next. I know that people don't leave the one they love. He told me he knew he loved me because he said my happiness was more important than his own. That was then - a month later, he needs to end it. None of it makes sense.

 

Logically, I know all of this. I've even been able to give other people advice. Good advice! Rationally, when I talk it over with others, I know it's damaged now, regardless of how I react to it. I know I've got no option but to accept it BUT..

 

Sunday night I asked him to give me some time. I wanted time to take it all in. I was going to call in a couple of days. Instead, he called me. I answered. He wants to drop my stuff off. I wished he might have missed me and might tell me he was an idiot but, no. I think he just wants it all done and dusted as soon as possible.

 

It hurts so much.

 

I would really appreciate any advice. Thank you for reading this.

Posted

ah I know how you feel..he came to drop me the things and he was so ok..so happy..and I was a complete wreck..I want to hate him so bad but instead im crying ..even now ..

 

hugs

Posted

mickle, hang in there. I would recommend having a friend there when he gets there to drop your things.

 

If this guy moves on so quickly hes not worth it, I know that doesnt help, but hang in there.

  • Author
Posted

Thank you dianna. How DARE they be so ok???!!! Actually, he went to drama school when he was younger and I think the whole relationship was just an act, and that he's woken up to that. He was doing a lot of pretending in his life and now the curtain's dropped.

 

Hugs to you, too. I know you're going through something very similar. x

 

New life. Bit difficult to get a friend over for noon tomorrow but I have arranged to visit a friend straight after. I have boxed up his stuff (and am cleaning my flat to within an inch of it's life!) And will look very hot (in an effortless way!) I will keep it as short as possible. I think I might write him a letter to say everything I need to, that way I can put the record straight in a mature way and don't have to risk talking about difficult things and breaking down. I don't want to get upset. If it happens, it does but I'll just give him the box and the letter and ask him if he's got anything to add and then close the door and go and see my mate. That's the plan.

 

I will probably end up wailing all day and night, and after he's gone though. :(

Posted

Mickleb if I could give any advice, it would be : feel sad. Yes that's right, feel sad, feel horrible, cry 20 times a day if you have it in you. Because coming to terms with that emotion of sadness, hopelessness, anger is what will help pull you through it. It will let you heal. Too many times I see people looking for a way to stop hurting 3 weeks, a month after their break up etc.. That isn't logical. Losing someone we love is a very painful, and traumatic even experience. There is no quick and easy fix, there just isn't and there never will be. BUT we certainly can make things easier on ourselves in the long run, if we just embrace the hurt and heartache we feel. If we allow the pain to run it's course, it will leave much quicker than stuffing down our feelings or trying to use someone else as a rebound.

 

So let it out girl, feel as sad, as mad, and as bad as you want too. It's part of the healing.

Posted

Hi Mickleb,

 

I'm sorry you are hurting. I'm sorry you got no replies to your previous posts. I must say that at least he talked to you first, instead of disappering and completely ignoring you. Still, I know it must be very, very painful, esp. since he seems okay. I with you on "oh dare he be okay." I know the feeling, it sucks.

 

One day in the far future, he will be just a faint memory. You may not even remember his name, but for now, it stinks and unfortunately you have to suffer through it because it takes time to heal. Hopefully after you get your stuff back and write your letter, you can begin the healing process.

Posted

good, you have a plan... Look at it this way, I had an ex that was went to my house in front of my family screaming she wanted everything she gave me (including a puppy) and her stuff.

 

Keep the cool, i know its easier to say it but when he gets there it gets tough. Sodo it quick.. Youll be fine, keep posting here let us know what happend.

  • Author
Posted
Mickleb if I could give any advice, it would be : feel sad. Yes that's right, feel sad, feel horrible, cry 20 times a day if you have it in you. Because coming to terms with that emotion of sadness, hopelessness, anger is what will help pull you through it. It will let you heal. Too many times I see people looking for a way to stop hurting 3 weeks, a month after their break up etc.. That isn't logical. Losing someone we love is a very painful, and traumatic even experience. There is no quick and easy fix, there just isn't and there never will be. BUT we certainly can make things easier on ourselves in the long run, if we just embrace the hurt and heartache we feel. If we allow the pain to run it's course, it will leave much quicker than stuffing down our feelings or trying to use someone else as a rebound.

 

So let it out girl, feel as sad, as mad, and as bad as you want too. It's part of the healing.

 

This just kills me. You're right. :(

Posted
This just kills me. You're right. :(

 

It's hard to tell now, but you're going to be okay. :o

  • Author
Posted

Thank you everyone. x

 

I'm still as confused as hell about what I'm supposed to say and do. I'll try to put it down in writing now. Even that feels too much like facing up to the truth of it being over, though.

 

He was, by far, the best guy I have ever been lucky enough to meet. A real gent. He's suffering from some kind of crisis of confidence, as far as I can tell. He hasn't done anything wrong, as such. He just isn't coping. Says he can't look me in the eye.

 

I've got to let him get on with it. Don't have any other option. The hardest thing is knowing he feels so bad and not being able to care for him.

 

This is not fair.

Posted

Don't feel too sorry for him, he almost definitely has another girl ready.

Posted

hey sorry I just noticed you had a problem of your own. It does sound like its out of your control though. Its going to hurt like hell but I know you will pull through. Whatever his reason for leaving isnt a problem because the fact still remains, hes leaving. You didnt want this but theres nothing you can do about it. Just remember theres people everywhere going through something and a hell of alot worse. We just have to be strong. The pain wont last forever and you know that:) Take care - Jay

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