lsb Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 At this point I do not even know what to do. I dumped him. I didn't talk to him for a month. He called saying he needed the spare key because he was locked out. So we talked. And we started to talk more and more. However, this whole time I could see he was on a dating site. So, I flat out asked him if he was tying to date anyone and he said no. I asked out the dating site and he denied being on there. Now he does not understand why I can't move forward, being friends or working things out. I am really upset about this because he keeps contacting me while still contacting other women (I can see on his facebook).....What should I do?
adamt Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 First of all delete him off facebook and block him too if that will help. Delete all emails, text messages and remove his number and email address and block them if you have to. Any photos you have burn them onto a CD and put it safe out of the way or give it to a friend or family to look after until you are fully over him. Do not contact him, get busy and put yourself first. Look to do things that will help rebuild your confidence and things you enjoy doing. catch up with old friends and start to build a social life without him
wow123 Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 I don't understand. You dumped him and you're mad that he is on dating sites? While you were talking did you tell him you made a mistake and you want to work things out? Unless you told him that he has the right to be on dating sites and doesn't have to tell you. I guess we need more info. as to what you have said to him in the time you have been talking.
Author lsb Posted July 29, 2009 Author Posted July 29, 2009 I guess I am having a hard time knowing whether I made the right decision or not. My family and friends do not really like him. He has a rather bad past in drugs and drinking....but before they even knew about that he seemed kinda clingy, controlling and smothering. I was tolerating it, and I was willing to work on that, but he was on a dating site. And I completely dropped him. This feels like a roller coaster and I just wish it would end. Yet he keeps contacting me and then I miss him when he stops. I absolutely hate this feeling.
mickleb Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 His new addiction is love. If he can't get it from you, he'll get it where he can. I think wow123 has a point - you dumped him - probably because you knew it wouldn't work out. Now it's time to take adamt's advice, if you're brave enough. Good luck. x
LostInLimbo Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 I only had to read the subject line for this, Can't Move On Can't or Won't? LiL
Author lsb Posted July 29, 2009 Author Posted July 29, 2009 Hello. I took adamt's advice. Everything is blocked. I told him it is best we don't talk anymore. I had a panic attack afterwards and started crying.
adamt Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 Well done for doing it. It is hard at first but you will improve once you get through the first couple of weeks. Stay strong and dont go backwards. When i took my ex off my facebook it hit me afterwards. i did it at work and had to hide in the toilet for 5 minutes to compose myself. its it the first stage of admitting it is over. Everytime you get the urge to contact them just phone a friend or relative or come on here and express your thoughts. I'm 2 months down the line and a hell of a lot better now, although i still do have my moments and bad days. Staying NC will help you look back at the relationship and see where it went wrong for both of you and then you can learn form that in your next relationship. Next step is to keep yourself busy doing stuff you enjoy to help take your mind of the other person. I've hammered the gym which helped and build up my confidence as i get in shape. started to read books too.
Author lsb Posted August 9, 2009 Author Posted August 9, 2009 It has been like a week and half now. I was okay but now I keep thinking back on things: mainly what was wrong, if things could have changed, if I should have tried and worked it out. Just things like that.
lokster Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 lsb, i know exactly how you are feeling, but i am a hypocrite and keep in touch with my ex, but it doesnt burn me as much anymore, what could ease the pain, is crying it out and letting the thought burn ur brain till it hurts no more. after that youl come out much stronger
Author lsb Posted August 11, 2009 Author Posted August 11, 2009 Well, right now I am feeling very emotional and I will just write here. Basically I feel guilty. My ex blames the fact that I held in a lot of my feelings about things and that I am quiet. So I guess my head thinks back on - what if I told him certain things that bothered me? Like the smothering, the questions, the seeing him too much, the mis-trust I had of him texting another girl. Would it have really changed anything?
Author lsb Posted August 11, 2009 Author Posted August 11, 2009 I really do not know what my problem is. But I know I have one. I feel obsessed about our break-up. I want to say hi to him just to say hi. It feels wrong that I was with someone so closely and now can't even talk to him. especially since he wants to talk to me.
llala Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 its very hard. The best thing I do is try to end the connection i once had with the person. I realized that moving on isnt about "forgetting" them, or forcing yourself not to love them. But it's basically not caring anymore, and keep going forward. Moving on means that to me.
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