boldjack Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 Did it ever occur to you BH, that not all people are interested in anything long term? That "mating", isn't the only reason that men and women interact. You are always talking about more, can't you approach an attractive man , without sizing him up as a potential mate? My wife is beautiful, charming, intelligent, sexy and loving, but this doesn't mean that I can't appreciate another woman's beauty, or enjoy her company.
utterer of lies Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 I guess if flirtation doesn't have the potential to go anywhere' date=' I'm not too interested, and I can't relate to anyone who uses it as a means of self-validation.[/quote'] You seem like a fun person who knows how to enjoy life.
utterer of lies Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 I dont agree...I have no problem with women coming up to me, and I could take them seriously and keep a balance going. I never felt forced. if a woman approached me that I didnt find attractive, i just turned her down, no big deal. Quoted for truth. All those people who insist on 'fixed rules' for flirting and dating just need some structure to overcome their insecurities.
utterer of lies Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 Did it ever occur to you BH, that not all people are interested in anything long term? That "mating", isn't the only reason that men and women interact. You are always talking about more, can't you approach an attractive man , without sizing him up as a potential mate? Some people are just sexually and emotionally repressed and close-minded. Each to his own.
fabulous_chk Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 I'd say, "I wanna eff you six ways to Sunday.":laugh::laugh: Kidding! I'm a natural flirt, and my friends complain. I'll flirt with anyone. But if it's somebody really important to me, I freeze. Can't do anything. It takes me 30 minutes to respond to a text because my brain cannot conjure any words. I have to have shots of Patron in my system to face my guy. I'm a disaster when it comes to the one I really like. But if it's just some random guy I can easily engage their attention.
Jimmy's_Brother Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 You seem like a fun person who knows how to enjoy life. I actually am, but since your posts are so consistently dripping with sarcasm/nastiness, I have no clue if you're being sincere. In any case, I think this is a great thread.
utterer of lies Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 Ermmm...yeah that's it, because I don't have the need to pick up lonely married dudes at at hotel bar by sending them drinks like some desperate "professional" looking to get some action, that makes me closed-midned and repressed. OP here are my suggestions: Last night I'm at a concert three songs into the show a cute guy walks in and sits at the empty seat next to mine. I am enjoying myself I am chatting up with my friends, then the band plays one song I abosolutely love of course the crowd is losing it, I get up and start to dance in doing so I accidently brush up the guy's leg with my purse so I look at him flash him a smile and say "sorry" coyly and tell him "I just love this song I can't sit this one out" and smile again. What does he do? he gets up and tells me "I know, this one is a good one, I think I'll stand up for this one too" next thing you know we are singing and enjoying the concert he starts to chat me up after that. I am seeing someone now so of course I am not going to make more of this. We are all drinking and tells me he is running back down to get a drink offers me if he can get me one, I let him no my friends just did a round and I already have one thank you. If I were single that was a closed deal. I wasn't so it lead nowhere but that's how you flirt. Eye contact is key, eye contact and smile. That works everywhere you go with guys. You can't be shy about that or else forget it! I started a thread about something that happened to me a few months ago as I was walking home from meeting up with some friends. I don't remember the thread title but I met a guy on the street (this happend a lot to me that I meet guys in not obvious places) all I did was eye contact and smile that's it. If I notice a guy really checking me out and I am into what I see I check him out right back. I'll dig up the name of the thread and link it here. Last year I am on vacation on a trip after a break-up to recharge alone, I am walking down a main strip of a shopping area where all the tourists go shopping at night, I am on this trip by myself. As I am going in and out of stores I walk out of one of the stores and I see this really cute guy looking at me I totally hold my gaze, I start to walk towards his general way he is still looking at me I look away and then just as I am getting really close to passing him I shoot him a quick look, he smiles and calls out "hello speak english?," and starts to walk with me. I smile back and stop and tell him "yes". We start to talk he asks me where I'm from what I am doing later that night I tell him I am tired too much sun that day just relaxing back at the hotel he invites me out to some party that night I tell him no not that night, he asks me out for the following night I tell him sure (I figure I am all alone might as well make plans to meet people) he gets my number at the hotel calls me the next day we make plans and totally go out the following night. We end up hanging out practically the entire week. He had been to this place before so he shows me awesome locations then went with a group of his friends (male and female) to a boat party (a friend of his is a local and has a boat) had the best time. Oh I'm sorry. Reading this I realize you understood what I was referring to, and that I completely misjudged you. You are nothing short of awesome. I shall live a happier life now that you have enlightened me. Thank you.
boldjack Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 BH, Do you ALWAYS make this many assumptions about people? You "assume", that I "hang out", at hotel bars, when I stated very clearly, that I went in for a nightcap. You "assume", that I am looking for attractive women, when i am in the bar. You "assume', that flirtation=invitation to sex. Your whole argument is based on assumptions, and your own apparent lack of trust. My wife knows about this woman, because I told her. I usually relate most everything that happens on my trips, to her, as she does to me. I don't know about your relationship, but mine is a very open, trusting one. BTW, my wife loves it that other women find me attractive. She says that it shows, what good taste she has.:D:D
Athena Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 I echoed this method from a guy I met once who I really found attractive and in a backhanded complimentary way was trying to get me interested in him by playing this silly game. he said "I really like your perfume, my mum has the same one!" I was like....OMG, how embarrassing! So I made more of an effort to appear cute to him. Which is what he wanted!! haha...he told me about it later for some reason though a magician should never reveal his tricks... So yeah, this is literally for the thrill of dating, not meeting someone who means something - you don't play games when you want to meet someone special. It's silly and exciting and there's something quite pumped about the feeling of being "on a roll" and this is only a small part. I can impart more wisdom if my strange methods aren't shot down XD His 'technique' comes straight out of "The Game -- penetrating the secret society of pickup artists" by Neil Strauss
Athena Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 A smile can melt men like butter. Especially men like boldjack.:laugh: Heh heh... and a sexy walk, and a sexy look their way! Funny how guys react... they freeze in place literally stop in their tracks, stop eating, working out, driving, cycling, steering and LOOK... the bold ones will go "Mm mm mmm -- What a Fine Looking Woman!" The young'uns will whoop and go "dayuumm" (or say "Sexy!") ---> just smile and wave boys (this quote from the penguins on Madagascar). It's all good. Here's my advice. If you're a woman, never EVER make the first move. NEVER. No exceptions. I agree -- that's why the woman just needs to Show herself --with a walk, a look -- it's enough if you know how
Athena Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 It's all in how you look. There is a vast difference between staring, peeking and looking. Staring is when you look at a Lady's breasts or ass and nothing more. Like she is a walking pair of boobs . Peeking is glancing, then averting eye contact, like a perv. Looking, is more like "experiencing". A sexy, attractive Lady is a work of art. BTW, Ruby, I'm betting that you are a masterpiece.:D :D Ahhhh BoldJack! no wonder I find you so attractive! You certainly know how to appreciate a woman (even though you are faithful to Wifey)
Trialbyfire Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 His 'technique' comes straight out of "The Game -- penetrating the secret society of pickup artists" by Neil Strauss I would have asked him if he's drawn to his mother. Flirting is less what you say, than how it's said.
Athena Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 I would have asked him if he's drawn to his mother. LOL! Brilliant!!!!
Lucky_One Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 I travel alone a lot for work. I sit in a lot of hotel bars/restaurants. Sometimes I just read my book or my paper, and sometimes I chat with strangers if I am feeling in that mood. I would certainly send a man a drink, and it doesn't mean I want a random hook-up. I have also been sent drinks, and I have both had dinner with the man who sent them or simply smiled and nodded my thanks across the room. I have never been termed desperate, and my long-term BF has no issues with my seeking dinner companionship or accepting/sending drinks. Back to the OP. If you are at Panera or Starbucks, you can always do the 'adjust the strap on your t-strap pump' thing, where you have to bend sideways, and you look up, partially bent, and say "I'm so sorry - help please?" while you put your hand lightly on his arm while you adjust your ankle strap. You can get a dog, and train it to bark at a certain phrase. While walking the dog, get it to bark when you are close to a man (or man/dog combo) that you think is interesting, and then you can blush and apologize for your dog barking and making all that racket. Then start talking breeds or training or puppy-making. Go to home improvement stores with a project in mind, like refinishing your grandmother's sideboard or replacing your bathroom sink. Ask men in the aisle for advice. If you are really shy, start asking older men for help - they LOVE helping a young woman out and old guys are usually great flirters for practicing purposes (you young minx, you). Compliment him on his shirt or tie when you walk by, and try to glance at his butt. Blush if he catches you looking. Ask a guy in a parking lot for help loading anything big or heavy - they like to show off their strength and also be helpful. If you are leaving a restaurant or store or somewhere like that after dark - ask someone to walk you to your car because you are frightened. Approach a man shyly, tell him that you started out to your car but someone yelled at you on the street and scared you, and ask him if he would walk you to your car. On an airplane, ask for help with a crossword clue. Only a man knows who won the XXVII Super Bowl off-hand (Dallas, btw). Or ask for help getting your carry-on stowed in the overhead. Or ask him if he noticed any blankets in the bins. Ask about his iPhone. An unusual signet ring. His brand of sunglasses. What brand of golf ball should you buy your dad for his birthday.
caramel c Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 I haven't read any posts here besides the original one. With that being said, I really don't ever think about how to flirt. I think it just comes naturally. It's really not necessary to think about it or put together some kind of plan. When a guy shows interest, and I am interested as well, it just kind of flows. Some kind of humorous conversation will be in the works usually along with some fun facial expressions. I find it hard to even describe. Flirting doesn't have to be over analyzed, in my opinion.
caramel c Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Here's my advice. If you're a woman, never EVER make the first move. NEVER. No exceptions. There are three major reasons why. First, men always know what they want. They don't need - nor do they want - anyone forcing it on them. And if you approach them, you are forcing it on them. Second, men are relatively simple creatures. They will take you at face value. If you approach them first, they will instantly start expecting you to do all the initiating, all the work in a relationship (if one develops). Third, men always want what they can't have. If you approach them, they instantly get the impression that you want them, and the challenge is gone. They believe in the Universal Law Of Supply And Return: the rarer it is and the harder to obtain, the more valuable it is. The best strategy for a woman is twofold: 1) look FABULOUS, as previously mentioned by another poster; and 2) look generally relaxed, positive, open and approachable in your body language and facial expression - i.e., smile a lot! A smile can melt men like butter. Especially men like boldjack.:laugh: You know, I have to add my own two cents on this. It really ISN'T necessary to approach a man, to make any first moves, or be the first one to show interest. I don't remember one time in my entire life I've ever done that and I meet lots of men that were genuinely interested in me. It's raining men!! Ladies, its very simple. All you have to do is show up and look good.
Curious-One Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Ermmm...yeah that's it, because I don't have the need to pick up lonely married dudes at at hotel bar by sending them drinks like some desperate "professional" looking to get some action, that makes me closed-midned and repressed. OP here are my suggestions: Last night I'm at a concert three songs into the show a cute guy walks in and sits at the empty seat next to mine. I am enjoying myself I am chatting up with my friends, then the band plays one song I abosolutely love of course the crowd is losing it, I get up and start to dance in doing so I accidently brush up the guy's leg with my purse so I look at him flash him a smile and say "sorry" coyly and tell him "I just love this song I can't sit this one out" and smile again. What does he do? he gets up and tells me "I know, this one is a good one, I think I'll stand up for this one too" next thing you know we are singing and enjoying the concert he starts to chat me up after that. I am seeing someone now so of course I am not going to make more of this. We are all drinking and tells me he is running back down to get a drink offers me if he can get me one, I let him no my friends just did a round and I already have one thank you. If I were single that was a closed deal. I wasn't so it lead nowhere but that's how you flirt. This is one thing i cant stand about some girls. I am not trying to bash you but IMO thats so not cool. First you are disrespecting your boyfriend (the person you are seeing ) and second you are giving that poor guy false hope just so that you can stroke your ego. I wonder how your boyfriend would feel if he knew that you were at a concert flirting with other guys. This is why so many guys out there have hard time approaching women because women will give out all the right signs but when you actually master up the curage and ask for their number they will give out the line i have a bf or i dont give out my number. Those girls are called attention whores because they flirt with guys so that guys can hit on them and they can feel like they still got it or they still look good. Also this is the whole reason why the OP is having hard time flirting because guys have come to understand that just because a girl smiles at you and looks at you doesnt mean you are good to approach. That guy did everything right and couldnt get you even though you flirted. So lets say that the OP sees that same guy and is interested in him. She looks at him and smiles might even go by and brush up against him and say sorry. Goes back to her seat and the guy is thinking this girl is interested in me i should go approach her. However, he will probobly start remembering how the last time this girl did all this stuff and told him that she had a bf or rejected him. That could possibly prevent him from approaching the OP and now the OP will be back here saying that eye contact and smiling doesnt work. Last point i want to make is that your statement about girl going up to a guy and striking up a conversation is a turnoff and should not be done. That is so not true because ive had this same thing happen to me at university. I was sitting in the back and talking to this realy cute girl pretty much trying to get with her. After about 2 weeks of classes this random girl cames and sat next to me and just started talking to me like she knew me. I have never even noticed this girl in class before and the first thing i do when i go in the class is find girls i think are attractive and make a plan on how i will start talking to them. Anyway she Offered me some of her candy and offered me graphing paper when the instructor started draving a graph (it was economics class). She told me she hates sitting in the back but someone took her seat in the front. I looked at front of the class and there was atleast 3-4 seats available in the front row where she could have sat. I imiddiatly knew she liked me and gave her a chance. Anyway even though she was not the cutest girl in the class i started liking her and started ignoring the good looking girl that sat next to me. I liked how she was very confident and went after what she wanted. Furthermore she gave herself a big chance becaise of she didnt come talk to me i would not have noticed her truly based on her looks.
boldjack Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Thank you, Athena, I have always both desired and admired the Ladies. My fidelity to my wife, does not mean that I cannot appreciate a fine, classy woman, very much like yourself.
PrincessOfDarkness Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Thank you, Athena, I have always both desired and admired the Ladies. My fidelity to my wife, does not mean that I cannot appreciate a fine, classy woman, very much like yourself. I didn't read the whole thread but I am curious. Say what if a very attractive women that you are flirting with is sexually bold if you will and basically jumps on you? Would you TRULY be able to say no especially after you have had a few drinks? Most men can't do this so that's why they don't put themselves willingly in those situations if they intend on staying faithful. In my experience, all man that do this do it for external validation and ego boosting purposes only. There really is a very fine line between "appreciating other females" and cheating. In that respect, I have never met a married men that I couldn't seduce if I was aggressive enough. It was always a matter of how far I was willing to take it.
Lucky_One Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 In that respect, I have never met a married men that I couldn't seduce if I was aggressive enough. It was always a matter of how far I was willing to take it. I've never tried. Life isn't a contest to see who is the most f*ckable.
boldjack Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Princess, I have slept with and cheated on, many women. I know myself better than anyone, and I have come to the conclusion that my wife is the most beautiful, charming, talented and intelligent woman on earth.
PrincessOfDarkness Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Princess, I have slept with and cheated on, many women. I know myself better than anyone, and I have come to the conclusion that my wife is the most beautiful, charming, talented and intelligent woman on earth. I don't think you would leave your wife or even have an affair, I am just saying that it's very easy to "slip" and have some sort of one night stand. I don't think that men can truly control themselves that way.
boldjack Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Well, I don't mean to boast, but I have been "hit on", by several women, since I've been married and haven't even thought of it. I am mature enough to realize that my dick belongs to me , not the other way round.
Lucky_One Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Wow, Princess, you don't hang out with many upstanding men, do you? Or have a very high opinion of men in general. I'm with Boldjack. I'm not ruled by my p*ssy; I don't run around in a haze of lust because I see someone attractive that has a great mind and sense of humor. I have seen some guys like that (and some women, too), but thankfully, in my world, they are few and far between.
BenThereDunThat Posted August 1, 2009 Posted August 1, 2009 Princess, I have slept with and cheated on, many women. I know myself better than anyone, and I have come to the conclusion that my wife is the most beautiful, charming, talented and intelligent woman on earth. That's just one of the things that makes you such a sexy beast.
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