loveslife Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 So the relationship doesn't make you feel good about yourself. It makes you feel nervous and paranoid. If you want to figure out how to stop feeling that way then figure out why you feel that way to begin with.
Author tenderheart8610 Posted August 2, 2009 Author Posted August 2, 2009 So the relationship doesn't make you feel good about yourself. It makes you feel nervous and paranoid. If you want to figure out how to stop feeling that way then figure out why you feel that way to begin with. No no, he does make me feel good about myself, when we are together. But then when we are apart I just get nervous because I usually don't know when I am going to see him again. And until I know exactly when I am going to see him again, I am paranoid that I will say or do something to scare him away from me, even though I know in the back of my mind it would take something huge for me to scare him away. I honestly think it stems from the fact that I just like him a large amount. He makes me feel special, and is really the first guy to do so. So maybe I am so paranoid because I am afraid of losing something SO great?
loveslife Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 No no, he does make me feel good about myself, when we are together. But then when we are apart I just get nervous because I usually don't know when I am going to see him again. And until I know exactly when I am going to see him again, I am paranoid that I will say or do something to scare him away from me, even though I know in the back of my mind it would take something huge for me to scare him away. I honestly think it stems from the fact that I just like him a large amount. He makes me feel special, and is really the first guy to do so. So maybe I am so paranoid because I am afraid of losing something SO great? I'm not really sure what to say at this point. I'm kind of frustrated. Do I need to shake you? How can you insist you feel good about the relationship when you're so consumed with doubt and paranoia. If your relationship made you feel good it would make you feel good even when you were apart. What you say is very telling. Look at what I highlighted above. If you need his attention to make you feel special then there is really something wrong. You should know that you are special to him and to the world even when he's not there to point it out to you. I hate to say it but I'm certain he's picked up on his power over you. If you want to stop feeling so paranoid all the time when you're apart then work on yourself. I don't really have anything else to say. Good luck.
Author tenderheart8610 Posted August 2, 2009 Author Posted August 2, 2009 I'm not really sure what to say at this point. I'm kind of frustrated. Do I need to shake you? How can you insist you feel good about the relationship when you're so consumed with doubt and paranoia. If your relationship made you feel good it would make you feel good even when you were apart. What you say is very telling. Look at what I highlighted above. If you need his attention to make you feel special then there is really something wrong. You should know that you are special to him and to the world even when he's not there to point it out to you. I hate to say it but I'm certain he's picked up on his power over you. If you want to stop feeling so paranoid all the time when you're apart then work on yourself. I don't really have anything else to say. Good luck. I appreciate your honesty, and I agree with you. I am kind of all over the place. He probably does know he has this power over me, and that's why I want to try and equal things out. And from some of the things he has said, I know that he thinks I am special even when we are not together. I think it's just because I grew up dealing with so much rejection (in many facets of life), that I am just used to that and may be scared of letting anyone break through that barrier. I did not mean to upset you, loveslife. I am just trying to get as much wisdom as possible from different points of view. You are very wise, and thank you again for talking to me. If you don't continue to do so, I understand.
loveslife Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 I appreciate your honesty, and I agree with you. I am kind of all over the place. He probably does know he has this power over me, and that's why I want to try and equal things out. And from some of the things he has said, I know that he thinks I am special even when we are not together. I think it's just because I grew up dealing with so much rejection (in many facets of life), that I am just used to that and may be scared of letting anyone break through that barrier. I did not mean to upset you, loveslife. I am just trying to get as much wisdom as possible from different points of view. You are very wise, and thank you again for talking to me. If you don't continue to do so, I understand. No, No tenderheart, I'm not going to stop talking to you. I just felt that the points I was trying to make were not getting through. I know how you feel about growing up with rejection. I grew up around people who alternated between loving me to pieces and villifying me. It was horrible and taught me that love led to rejection. I did not realize all of this until recently. That type of behavior growing up can cause someone to lose their sense of self and sense of esteem. It's not your fault. What I would recommend for you is to TRY and focus on improving yourself. This is not saying you are bad. We are all broken in one way or another. But after a string of bad decisions with relationships I realize that I need to become a healthier person in order to make better choices. That's all I was trying to get at. Hope that makes some sense. Your struggles are not about HIM.
Author tenderheart8610 Posted August 2, 2009 Author Posted August 2, 2009 No, No tenderheart, I'm not going to stop talking to you. I just felt that the points I was trying to make were not getting through. I know how you feel about growing up with rejection. I grew up around people who alternated between loving me to pieces and villifying me. It was horrible and taught me that love led to rejection. I did not realize all of this until recently. That type of behavior growing up can cause someone to lose their sense of self and sense of esteem. It's not your fault. What I would recommend for you is to TRY and focus on improving yourself. This is not saying you are bad. We are all broken in one way or another. But after a string of bad decisions with relationships I realize that I need to become a healthier person in order to make better choices. That's all I was trying to get at. Hope that makes some sense. Your struggles are not about HIM. I know I NEED to improve myself...for ME, and no one else. However, doing so will hopefully lead to better relationship with my guy...And I do honestly think that the longer I am with him, the less I will think that he is going anywhere, and the doubt and paranoia will subside...because it is still new, and in that stage of "ok well it's been a month and we are still seeing each other, how much longer could this last?"...I guess, like I said, it just stems back to my past...and that is something I can't change, so I need to power through and figure out how to make things better for me.
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