Jilly Bean Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 OK ... I am just trying to work this out! Oui~ You'll do OK, SO. It's not easy, particularly since you're so out of the loop. But, as some gentle advice, you have to be mindful that a stranger (which she is) isn't entitled to, nor worthy, of your private thoughts and feelings. Just because clearly has major boundary issues, doesn't mean you need to follow suit.
Citizen Drawn Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 You're right about the nice guy thing, but the funny thing is she's the needy and desperate one, bloody hell! I'm not sure I'd even give her a polite response. Most I would muster is: "Yeah, er, couldn't be bothered to read all that. Anyway, Saturday's off."
Citizen Drawn Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 YOU'RE AWESOME!! I love your style!! :love: You too
Thaddeus Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 Wholly Cheeses, I step away for one night to have a bbq with my friends and everything in this thread has gone to blazes. StartingOver101, go out with her anyway. Look, you've got to eat regardless, and you would like an evening's entertainment. Nothing at all wrong with that. You're not marrying this woman, it's just a date. Just don't go into the date with any expectations about anything. Go out, have a nice meal, enjoy yourself, have fun. If you and she don't 'click', no big deal. Consider it a dry practice run for something more serious in the future with someone else. By the way, I received a fair amount of criticism in my "list of qualities destined to drive a woman away." Did you notice that all the criticisms came from women? Completely unsurprising. I hesitated to mention this before, but since they opened this can of worms by criticizing my list, I guess turnabout is fair play. Here's the thing: Taking dating advice about women from women is a fool's errand. There's a world of difference between what they say they respond to, and what they actually do respond to. Sure, each woman is different and there are some things that one woman will respond to that other women won't. Fair enough. But the point of the list is to be a leader. Do what you want to do because you want to do it, not because you're trying to curry favor from someone. Women - men, too - respect that. And it's respect that will get you the farthest. Being "likable" but not respected is a one-way ticket to the friend-zone and, once there, you're incarcerated for life. (For instance, when you start going on and on and on about your feelings, the woman may find that likable, but won't respect it. She may think, "My, what a sensitive man! I like that! He'd be a good friend! But NO WAY IN HELL would I sleep with him!") Consider it as an equation, where "like" is whether that person likes you, "respect" is whether that person respects you, and the sum will be whether you've got a chance at getting to know the other party on deeper, more meaningful level:Like + respect = very good chance Respect + no like = possible chance Like + no respect = no chance No like + no respect = no chance Capisce? So go out with her (and pay for everything... you can only start suggesting she pays after a few dates). Have fun. Strengthen your new-found 'respect' muscles. Enjoy yourself, without any expectations from her. I'm heading out of town for a couple of days but I expect a full report on my desk as soon as I return. (j/k)
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