alynne24 Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 Hello everyone....I'm new to this forum. But I need Help! Here's the story: I'm 28 years old. About 10 months ago, I met a wonderful man. His character is everything I've been looking for...Loves God, loves me, very sweet, respectful, stable etc. just to name a few. However, he does have a past. In his past he made mistakes like, had children out of wedlock and cheated on his wife. He is a very very popular person in the small city we live in and so seems like everybody is aware of the mistakes he has made. He has made a 180 degree turn around, has been to counseling and has really committed his life to God at this point. Me being 28 yrs old....I have not made the same mistakes, have no children and have a pretty clean background. I have spent the last 10 months evaluating his character, observing and watching his behavior. I feel as though he may have some scars from the past (made lots of mistakes) but he genuinely has a good heart and in the last 7-9 years has been living right and really trusting God in his life. It's hard for me to think that I will not be his first wife, Or first baby mamma (lol) but I really do love him. And God knows he loves me too. I am still evaluating everything but we have such a great relationship (love, communication, fun, things in common) that it makes me really want to be with him. Also knowing that he really has changed for the better and learned from his mistakes. He wants to move towards marriage. But I can't because of my parents. They HATE him. My family is very controlling and they tell me because of his past, they cannot accept him into our family. I live at home currently which is probably why they are having such a hard time. He is doing many great things for the community now and many people come to me and say great things about him. But there are those who cannot forget the past and some people in the community have come to my parents telling them the worst of his past and even some lies about him. So i suppose they have reason to hate him. They are trying everything to break us up and have threatned to actually hurt him. My mother went to his ex wife and she told my mother some more bad things....and lies. She cleary believes the exwife. So things have gotten so bad, my mother tells me I have to either choose him or them. If I marry him, she wants nothing to do with me. She says that if I loved my parents, I would not shame and embarrass them like this. She says she has cried herself to sleep everynight over this situation. She says she is depressed and it is my fault. She even told me she regrets the day I was born. I feel as though I am an adult and if I decide his past is too much, that should be my decision not theirs. I guess my question is.....should I break up with him because it is causing my family so much heartache?
Thaddeus Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 should I break up with him because it is causing my family so much heartache?Crap no. "Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. [Genesis 2:24]"
bean1 Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 The biggest mistake of a wife #2 is not listening to wife #1. Tread carefully! You will find MANY women who dated divorced men that would attest to this.
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