MichiganMan222 Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 I went on our computer (my gf and I share one at home) and went to log into gmail. Apparently she didn't log off as it went straight to her account. Second email was an unopened email from her last ex. I didn't open it, but did see the subject line that said 'hey', and in gmail, you can see the first few words which read 'how have you been'. So its not like they've been talking awhile. This was obviously him reaching out to her after some time. Anyway, I logged off her account and continued to mine. We have been extremely open to each other about this stuff, especially from my side as I had 3 exs contacting me shortly after we got together. One stopped contacting, one I removed from FB because it understandably bothered my gf we were 'friends' and the other was my most serious relationship, but she only contacted me 2 or 3 times about meanial stuff like leftover property, etc. We both vowed after this to be open about this stuff so it doesn't appear secretive. And this isn't the first time. Early on, he contacted her and she said its not a good idea to talk; I'm taken. Anyway, I'm dying to see if she tells me about it. LOL Anyone having their SO's ex's popping in after almost a year to check up on their past? How did you SO react when (if) you showed any discomfort about it? Were they understanding or defensive? My GF hasn't seen this yet obviously.
doublescorpio Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 Even though you weren't deliberately trying to snoop, you still accidentally invaded her privacy. I think that snooping often does more harm than good, because we have the tendency to blow small things out of proportion. Since you are honest together this far, I would tell her that you saw it and it is no big deal- you trust her etc. Waiting for her to 'fess up' would be a sure way to get yourself agitated. It really doesn't sound like what happened is a big deal to me. Sometimes people, esp. exes get really curious about how others' lives are going. Sometimes they don't mean anything by it except to 'check up' on people. I would give her all the benefit of the doubt here and unless you had other warning signs recently, put it aside.
Author MichiganMan222 Posted July 29, 2009 Author Posted July 29, 2009 Yeah, I actually felt terrible about seeing it and I'm most certainly giving her the benefit of the doubt. Otherwise, I may have taken the opportunity to see if there was anything else interesting in the Inbox...or Sent and Deleted folders. But I close it off. I thought about telling her what happened, but I worry she'll take exception to it thinking I may have been actually checking on her. Since the email seemed so benign and unprovoked, I'm just going to forget about it. But I have to admit, if she doesn't say anything to me about it, I will be concerned with that and probably start to wonder what was said back. I don't know how I'll feel. I have absolutely ZERO reason to suspect anything whatsoever and I'm not going to start now. But it will be nice if she mentions it to me LOL. As I mentioned before, we were both cheated on and we talked about our lingering insecurities. Early on, we decided to always be open about everything and never put each other in the position to worry unnecessarily. So far she hasn't said anything, but we haven't been online much except at work and she is not allowed Internet access at work.
Author MichiganMan222 Posted August 2, 2009 Author Posted August 2, 2009 She did! Moments after she would've seen it for the first time, she actually forwarded it and her reply to me (we were both at our workplaces) with the title "Look who emailed". The thread lasted 4 or 5 more exchanges each and she forwarded me the messages each time throughout making editorial comments along the way. He did ask if 'she was married yet' and she responded no, but hopefully soon. haha It was nice to see all that. After reading this forum for long enough, one gets the impression that no one can be trusted.
reservoirdog1 Posted August 2, 2009 Posted August 2, 2009 Sounds like you've got a good girl there! You both conducted yourself well. Good stuff.
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