wander Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 Hi, my first post, but I really need to get this out and get advice... me and a work mate who ive know for a few months but never been that attracted to her (ive always thought she was cute but wouldnt have said it was anything more) were covering in a different store to what we normally work in, and there was only the 2 of us in all day for a few days and hardly any customers, so we talked loads and laods and get to know each other very well, we have been out a few times abd ive been to hers, and nothing has happened, absoultely nothing but we do like each other, and we have tlked about it loads and about how we get on so well and that we're both sooo confused. we are both in relationships, shes been with her bf like 4 years and ive been with my gf nearly 2 years. ino i love my gf to death and a month ago id have said im certain im going to spend the rest of my life with her. but now iam not so sure. the other day we said we're just goin got be friends because we cant hurt anyone, and then a few minutes later we were talking like we were going to get together. ino i like her and id go for it if i knew it would work, i think thats our biggest fear is that we will go for it and in a few months or even weeks we will realise we have made a big mistake. any advice would be GREATLY appreciated, thanks
Teslacoil Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 Ask yourself this: If you broke up with your girlfriend, but didn't end up with this person, would you be happier? Breaking up with your girlfriend just to be with someone else doesn't make any sense. If you break up with your girlfriend, break up with her because of things the relationship lacks that you need to have. It sounds to me that if a few days of chatting with this girl are making you question your loyalties to your girlfriend, then you and your girlfriend don't have as strong a relationship as you thought. Whatever you do, don't cheat on your girlfriend. Giving up a girlfriend of multiple years because of a small crush on someone else isn't a very smart move, imo.
Author wander Posted July 28, 2009 Author Posted July 28, 2009 yeh, i know what you mean. Thats what we were saying, cuz if someone is happy, then they wouldnt let themselves get close to someone else like that. Its not a decision im going to just rush into, i really dont know what i want, but tbh I think if i was to leave me GF and things didnt work Id feel bad cuz i hurt her for nothing, but in some ways id feel relieved because im thinkin this has happened n how do ino its not going to happen again. If both of us were truly happy with wa we have it wouldnt have happened. we've tlked about it being a crush but im not sure a crush would make us think like this
stace79 Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 How old are you guys? Sounds like maybe you need some more experiences to determine what you really want out of a relationship. I do agree though that if you are considering leaving your R for another R, you should break up with your gf and just be by yourself for awhile. Your gf def deserves better. Nothing personal.
Author wander Posted July 28, 2009 Author Posted July 28, 2009 im 23, and she is nearly 21, and we have both had serious relationships, but we're not at the age were we have had our hearts broken loads and loads of experiences. the thing is though, neither of us are the types to cheat or have one night stands. and the fact we havent done anything about our feelings shows that we care a lot about our partners and also that we dont want to ruin our friendship should we decide to stay friends
Dexter Morgan Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 i think thats our biggest fear is that we will go for it and in a few months or even weeks we will realise we have made a big mistake. well thats your problem. whats the alternative? Settling for the people you are with out of your own selfish sense of security? Your desires for someone else shouldn't be your gf's problem and she shouldn't be held hostage in a relationship with someone that wants to see if the grass is greener elsewhere. again, your fear of it not working out and ruining your current relationship is you and this other girl's problem. I think you should both dump your significant others and take the chance so your SO's can be with other people themselves. Set them free.
Author wander Posted July 29, 2009 Author Posted July 29, 2009 Yeh, tbh id go for it, id take the chance. I can tell she doesnt want to hurt her boyfriend, and Ive told her imo she cant be happy otherwise she wudnt have looked elsewhere but shes jsut so confused over what to do. thing is as well. next week shes going away for 2 weeks on holiday with her family. N i think this'll give her looads of time to think about wah she wants, n with me gone, I can see her coming back n sayin its a crush or sumfin.
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