ekt21 Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 So I was wondering how do you know when you are over your ex? do you just know by yourself? I cant seem to see if i am totally over him yet. I got dumped around 2 months ago and i havent talked to him since! out of sight out of mind!
vring81 Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 Someone once told me you know you are over your ex if you can imagine them sleeping with someone else and not want to die over it.
2sure Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 There comes a specific tangible moment in time when you know you are over your ex. Its when you suddenly slap your forehead and shout : WTF was I thinking?!
on edge Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 There comes a specific tangible moment in time when you know you are over your ex. Its when you suddenly slap your forehead and shout : WTF was I thinking?!
brock9911 Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 you know when your no longer constantly thinking about them. and when you do, you dont have love, animosity, hatred, or any kind of feelings towards them. there just another person to you
Author ekt21 Posted July 29, 2009 Author Posted July 29, 2009 thank you for all the information really helps. all i know it that time does heal evenually! and i cant wait for that day im no longer finding myself thinking bout the ex!
Scooter25 Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 For me, I was hanging out with my friends a lot and one day just realized. I think it came around the last time she sent me a text (which I never responded to) and thought; wow I don't even want to read it, I wish she would leave me alone, I'm out having fun right now with my friends. Honestly, you know your over your ex when your not comparing them to someone new you meet, your not looking at e-mails, your phone, or anything else to see if they contact you. It's hard to expalin but literally one day it clicked for me personally. Don't get me wrong still think about all the amazing times we had, because they were fun and also I gained a lot of insight for the future.
yharden Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 I wish I knew the answer to that one. I had moved on, and had not been thinking about my ex for about 2 months now, but for some reason this past week, I cannot stop thinking about him. He got engaged to another woman after only knowing her for four weeks, and it totally crushed me, but I thought I was over him. I was even dating someone else, and then out of the blue, I am thinking about him again so if anyone can help me figure out what is wrong with me I would greatly appreciate it.
LakesideDream Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 I've posted this a few times, and here is how it went for me after a 25 year marriage. At first I woke up in the morning, thinking "I hate the bitch"... and it colored my whole day. I realized in a couple of weeks that it had to stop. I decided to allow myself 30 minutes of "pity party" each morning. After the half hour I would go on with my day. As time went on, I lowered the time I allowed myself. 15 minutes, 5 minutes, 1 minute. The one minute went on for a long time, over a year. Then like magic, after 2.5 years "my minute" wasn't worth the effort. I was done with the whole thing. Sounds like a long time eh? I look at it differently. I see it as the process taking about 10% of the time we were actually married. Not so bad at all.
ssj4trunks09 Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 I would think you just know. It just happens. Me for example, I know I'm not over her because I would talk to some other girl and I wouldn't feel right. I still compare her to my ex. I still think about my ex. I felt uncomfortable. In a case where I did know I was over her was when I didn't think of her anymore and she was just another person. Another person I don't talk to anymore who is living their life.
Author ekt21 Posted July 30, 2009 Author Posted July 30, 2009 The thing is I dont really know how it is to actually say "yes im over the ex" because he was my first "real" relationship. It was my freshman year of college, we were together for that entire year and he dumps me in july over a txt message. I just want to be over with him already, yet he still haunts my mind every single day!
georgia girl Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 My opinion is that you're over them when you've had enough of them. When you don't feel anything - anger, love, disappointment, rejection - just fatigue. Just the, "Really? I have to deal with you?" feeling in your gut. I don't want to think about my ex anymore and I certainly want to start dating again. I can declare this chapter in my life closed. In fact, I probably won't post a whole lot more here on Loveshack, but I promise to come back and share my wisdom (or if I just realize I'm too cocky and not really over him) My advice, however, is this: exes are not insurmountable obstacles on our road to happiness. They're more like the roadkill along the way. After awhile, you stop feeling bad about them on the side of the road and they smell so bad, you really can't hang around any longer! (And I actually think well of my ex... imagine if I didn't????)
wow123 Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 When you can see them with their new S/O in person or in a picture and not care.
Trialbyfire Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 When you can see them with their new S/O in person or in a picture and not care.When you're with someone else and can double-date with your ex and his date, and only wish them happiness.
alphamale Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 When you're with someone else and can double-date with your ex and his date, and only wish them happiness. why the HELL would one ever want to see their ex again? wtf?!? just for TBF --> ()
smookie Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 There comes a specific tangible moment in time when you know you are over your ex. Its when you suddenly slap your forehead and shout : WTF was I thinking?! LOL I have done that so many times !!! Truly it is the best one ever!! Thanks
fabulous_chk Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 When you can see them with their new S/O in person or in a picture and not care. Then I'm not over him yet. I get angry whenever I see a pretty young Latina. lol.
Soul Bear Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 how do you know your over your ex? - you dont post in coping anymore....and only come to LS a few times a year as you will probably be in another R and have no time for LS
Trialbyfire Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 why the HELL would one ever want to see their ex again? wtf?!?Because I'm one of those strange people who believe in opposite gender friendships. Also, I tend to like my exes and if they treat me right as a friend, are fine to be friends with them. Not everyone feels the same way, which is fine too.
northstar1 Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 how do you know your over your ex? - you dont post in coping anymore....and only come to LS a few times a year as you will probably be in another R and have no time for LS Funny enough, I got over my ex months ago and I still check on LS every day and try and post when I can. This site was a lifesaver during my lowest points last year, and I still find I like to keep up with some of the people and try and help others navigate the choppy waters.
Trialbyfire Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 Funny enough, I got over my ex months ago and I still check on LS every day and try and post when I can. This site was a lifesaver during my lowest points last year, and I still find I like to keep up with some of the people and try and help others navigate the choppy waters.I have to admit that it bothers me when people get help/support on LS and never bother to give back that help/support.
northstar1 Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 I have to admit that it bothers me when people get help/support on LS and never bother to give back that help/support. I agree. I remember back when I first joined, I doubted some of the advice (ie. NC works, second chances rarely work etc), and really didn't believe that I'd get over her. She was 'the one'. Now I see how silly that thought was. Like most, I figured my 'case' was different and made up excuses why it could work again, or why breaking NC just that one time was a good idea to get "closure". Now I see that most the advice I received from the regulars (those who healed years ago) was pretty much spot on. This place, for the most part, is a useful tool.
Jimmy's_Brother Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 As you mentioned, you have a new girl, and I suspect that that it the main reason you're "over" her, northstar1. Most of us don't really heal until given the love and respect of another, which revitalizes our self-worth. Not all of us are so lucky
Trialbyfire Posted July 31, 2009 Posted July 31, 2009 I agree. I remember back when I first joined, I doubted some of the advice (ie. NC works, second chances rarely work etc), and really didn't believe that I'd get over her. She was 'the one'. Now I see how silly that thought was. Like most, I figured my 'case' was different and made up excuses why it could work again, or why breaking NC just that one time was a good idea to get "closure". Now I see that most the advice I received from the regulars (those who healed years ago) was pretty much spot on. This place, for the most part, is a useful tool.Without LS, I wouldn't have found out about NPD and made my ex-H, go to therapy. He's still in therapy, two years later but the improvements in him, have been well worth it. That's why we're friends, since he's still got some really redeeming qualities. While he'll never be "cured" of his disorder, he puts a lot of effort into rerouting his thought processes. I'm really impressed with his efforts but would never consider getting back with him, especially since I moved on, a long time ago, and have someone who's a much better fit, who, if all continues going this way, is my life-partner.
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