ryanrabl Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Why do dumpers always break NC,contacting the dumpee telling them how they miss them so badly?If they miss them so much why dont they just get back together with the dumpee?Its like me saying I have a billion dollars,if only i could afford that BMW...
Thomas X Forever Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Lol. Oh, the psychology of a dumper. It's because they miss you as a person. Not a bf/gf. Riddle solved.
lsb Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 They feel bad. They don't want you to feel bad. They miss the routine and just having someone there.
ahotmess Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 They don't ALWAYS contact. It's been almost a month, and still no word from the dumper. Of course he ran off with my best friend who was married so I'm sure the two of them are quiet busy. Everyone tells me it's a blessing that he isn't contacting me, and I'm sure it really is but DAMNIT, I would love to have a word with that man.
lorilynne Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 Such a quandry that most of us have faced at some time. I agree with Thomas, they just miss the routine. Once someone else fills that void, you won't be missed anymore.
joseffrost Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 They do it to seek validation, and just as we, the dumpees will search for any crumb of hope in their words and actions, they will use whatever your reply says to justify their decision. If you're still a jibbering wreck - they made the right decision because you are pathetic, weak and needy. If you've moved on and are happy - then you must not have cared about them in the first place and they probably made the right decision. Love is a tough old game.
moo Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 Pathetic? Weak? Gosh, really harsh words. I don't see anyone struggling to get over a relationship as pathetic. But then, maybe you meant that that is how the dumper sees the dumpee? On that note, you could be right, especially if the dumper is selfish and immature like my ex. I'm thinking he saw me that way too, even though he broke my heart in the cruelest of ways.
joseffrost Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 Pathetic? Weak? Gosh, really harsh words. I don't see anyone struggling to get over a relationship as pathetic. But then, maybe you meant that that is how the dumper sees the dumpee? Exactly. If someone dumps someone, without good reason, then they will inevitably see the negative in the dumpees actions, as a form of self-justification. It allows them to say "I made the right decision". Conversely, the dumpee sees the dumper as being 'the one that got away' and therefore everything is positive in their eyes. We tend to forget their faults and all those things that we won't actually miss about them.
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