aeh Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Just curious.... Mine was ..."Very few men didn't notice her when she walked into a room." Obviously, the stuff like him telling her he loved her, that they had sex, etc was unbearable, too, but for some reason, this really got to me....
Reggie Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 My first wife was very cruel. She was drinking heavily and, I think, trying to get me to divorce her by having affairs. I was young and pretty naive about this stuff. It was before the internet and I had very little information on the signs of an affair. My wife was my first partner, and I was pretty naive about women, too. In any case, she had been out many, many nights until the wee hours of the morning. SHe would stumble in drunk, turn on lights and make noise which would wake me up. She decided , one night, that it would be a good idea to describe in detail, the physical attributes of the younger OM, how incredibly fit he was, and how endowed he was. I still cannot fathom the cruelty of that.
Spark1111 Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 HE described her as "wonderful." He thought "about marrying her" at one point. She told him regularly how "wonderful" he was. He demonized me, so he could place the halo on her head. Over time and counseling, he has realized that they were two lonely people who thought no one else wanted them. A real pity party for two. And as the fog lifted, she wasn't so wonderful after all. He had wonderful at home.
bentnotbroken Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 "I "F-ed" her in our home. Still makes my stomach hurt. The home where my kids and our family's pictures are everywhere.
DNU1 Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 It's not what she said to me that hurts the most...it's what she said to OM that hurts the most. Reading e-mails she sent to OM was just heartbreaking. Those were the words she once said to me...the words that should only have been said to me. To know that she could feel that way about another man...just heartbreaking. I won't even go in to how badly I felt for our DDs because of all of this affair stuff.
bentnotbroken Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 It's not what she said to me that hurts the most...it's what she said to OM that hurts the most. Reading e-mails she sent to OM was just heartbreaking. Those were the words she once said to me...the words that should only have been said to me. To know that she could feel that way about another man...just heartbreaking. I won't even go in to how badly I felt for our DDs because of all of this affair stuff. Got tons of those too, it does suck like a black hole.
phineas Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 He was her mirror-image. They thought the same. He said what she was thinking & vice-versa. Then to other's, she demonized me. made me out to be a piece of crap, told OM how much more attractive he was. The real funny part is, compared to me, in the endowment region he didn't quite measure up to me. He also couldn't ring her bell like I did. It's probably why she "cheated" on him with me. Now it's race. To divorce her before her crazy mind decides she wants me again.
bentnotbroken Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 He was her mirror-image. They thought the same. He said what she was thinking & vice-versa. Then to other's, she demonized me. made me out to be a piece of crap, told OM how much more attractive he was. The real funny part is, compared to me, in the endowment region he didn't quite measure up to me. He also couldn't ring her bell like I did. It's probably why she "cheated" on him with me. Now it's race. To divorce her before her crazy mind decides she wants me again. :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:
Spark1111 Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 It's not what she said to me that hurts the most...it's what she said to OM that hurts the most. Reading e-mails she sent to OM was just heartbreaking. Those were the words she once said to me...the words that should only have been said to me. To know that she could feel that way about another man...just heartbreaking. I won't even go in to how badly I felt for our DDs because of all of this affair stuff. So true...((((sigh))) I accidentally intercepted a text on his phone to her that read :"You are the one that I want! I want to reach my financial goals and take care of you and your son forever." To which she replied: "Come back and hold me, hold me forever!" I threw him out two days later and said, "Go get her!" and all the affair love and lust and romance went.......pssst! like air popped from a balloon. The fantasy died, and so did the affair.
jwi71 Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 What my now ex-wife (final court in three, count 'em three weeks!) said that hurt the most? That's easy...calling him by the pet name she had for me...ye-ouch. Now...she's anyone else's problem.
2.50 a gallon Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 There were several, all sexual Two days after I caught her kissing him and she came by to pick up her clothes. "He's been F'n my brains out" That weekend, the conspiritorial OM next door had a BBQ for her, the OM and two of her co-worker OMs. The bedroom wall was not sound proof, so I could her them talking loudly about me for my beneft. I slipped out the back, and walked down to a local bar. I came back several hours later and the party was still going on. From what I could hear she was very drunk. We had a special tune that she liked to dance to and would usually strip for me. The music started and as I was leaving again, I heard the four guys hooting and hollering, I assumed she was putting on a show for them The most hurtful thing she ever said occured a few weeks later, when she started her campaign to win me back. "I love you", "I was only fulfilling a fantasy, I will never do it again", "I made a mistake, I want you back", etc. At that time I had begun to heal and was moving on, and it was back to square one.
silktricks Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Really - nothing. He said that if it hadn't been her, it probably would have been someone else as he was angry with me. She was the initiator, but he was definitely a willing follower
delajoonal Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 "haven't you ever been in love with someone you can't be with?" OMG..i will NEVER forget that moment as long as i live:( p.s. that was about an online EA w/OW..it only lasted 3 weeks...and to this day, he says he has NO clue what made him say that or even think he loved OW...
Snowflower Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Please, don't dwell on what your WS might have said about their AP (and who cares anyway?), it will just hurt worse if you continue to think about it.
Peanut9330 Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Well I think the most hurtful thing I been told was....... "She helped me see a future again" that was messed up you just dont say that kind of stuff.
delajoonal Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 snowflower well, i kinda think that is the point of this question... so we all KNOW we are NOT alone in the A dept... and talking about IT, can actually be good and theraputic...to get IT out... if read most of the repsonses...they/we have all moved on already...so i don't think anyone is sitting here crying over this thread..in fact the complete opposite... like i said, we all in general as humans NEED to know, we are NOT alone in a situation...that is why we share...that is why we come here...to LS.. thanks for reading mpov:)
Snowflower Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 snowflower well, i kinda think that is the point of this question... so we all KNOW we are NOT alone in the A dept... and talking about IT, can actually be good and theraputic...to get IT out... if read most of the repsonses...they/we have all moved on already...so i don't think anyone is sitting here crying over this thread..in fact the complete opposite... like i said, we all in general as humans NEED to know, we are NOT alone in a situation...that is why we share...that is why we come here...to LS.. thanks for reading mpov:) I get it. And it does help to talk about the pain, I know. It's just that this line of questions seems particularly painful. Why rehash it? And FWIW, like SK mentioned, my husband didn't really say anything particular hurtful to me about the OP. She just happened to be in the proverbial right place at the wrong time in his life.
Reggie Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 There were several, all sexual Two days after I caught her kissing him and she came by to pick up her clothes. "He's been F'n my brains out" That weekend, the conspiritorial OM next door had a BBQ for her, the OM and two of her co-worker OMs. The bedroom wall was not sound proof, so I could her them talking loudly about me for my beneft. I slipped out the back, and walked down to a local bar. I came back several hours later and the party was still going on. From what I could hear she was very drunk. We had a special tune that she liked to dance to and would usually strip for me. The music started and as I was leaving again, I heard the four guys hooting and hollering, I assumed she was putting on a show for them The most hurtful thing she ever said occured a few weeks later, when she started her campaign to win me back. "I love you", "I was only fulfilling a fantasy, I will never do it again", "I made a mistake, I want you back", etc. At that time I had begun to heal and was moving on, and it was back to square one. What an ordeal. You have my respect(for what it is worth), for the way you handled this and for your ability to now seeher for waht she is. I don't care about being "in love" or the "fog" deal/ Normal people just do not do this type of thing. In anger, someone may call you a name or something. But, this type of hitting below the belt is brutal. Heck, many of us have broken up with others after realizing we were attracted to someone else. I could not imagine leaving someone with this type of pain on top of the heartbreak. What a monster you were dealing with. Me , too.
Dexter Morgan Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Just curious.... Mine was ..."Very few men didn't notice her when she walked into a room." Obviously, the stuff like him telling her he loved her, that they had sex, etc was unbearable, too, but for some reason, this really got to me.... Oh, she tried to tell me how sweet he was...this and that, even though I knew he beat his last wife, and never supported his own kids. I came back at her with that, laughed in her face and walked off.
seibert253 Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 It's not what she said to me that hurts the most...it's what she said to OM that hurts the most. Reading e-mails she sent to OM was just heartbreaking. Those were the words she once said to me...the words that should only have been said to me. To know that she could feel that way about another man...just heartbreaking. I won't even go in to how badly I felt for our DDs because of all of this affair stuff. Best describes me. Dead on.
phineas Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 Please, don't dwell on what your WS might have said about their AP (and who cares anyway?), it will just hurt worse if you continue to think about it. Actually, i'm not dwelling on what she told OM at all because I know it was all BS to make the OM feel special & to convince him her marriage really was over. The only thing that REALLY bothers me is she made the decision to actually register on an online dating site to meet another man. We were barely married for a yr & a half. 3/4 of our marriage she was cheating on me. That's what angers me.
imani Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 There were several, all sexual Two days after I caught her kissing him and she came by to pick up her clothes. "He's been F'n my brains out" That weekend, the conspiritorial OM next door had a BBQ for her, the OM and two of her co-worker OMs. The bedroom wall was not sound proof, so I could her them talking loudly about me for my beneft. I slipped out the back, and walked down to a local bar. I came back several hours later and the party was still going on. From what I could hear she was very drunk. We had a special tune that she liked to dance to and would usually strip for me. The music started and as I was leaving again, I heard the four guys hooting and hollering, I assumed she was putting on a show for them The most hurtful thing she ever said occured a few weeks later, when she started her campaign to win me back. "I love you", "I was only fulfilling a fantasy, I will never do it again", "I made a mistake, I want you back", etc. At that time I had begun to heal and was moving on, and it was back to square one. Wow! Now she's total C U Next Tuesday! That's some off the wall stuff right there. Why would anyone want to be this cruel when they are the one in the wrong. Its like she wants to rub it in your face. Wait, in fact it is like she took a dirty diaper and rubbed it in your face. That's just mental.
Lizzie60 Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 I only read a few posts.. but what I read was 'shocking' ... so I really hope all of you dropped him/her like a hot potato... Even if I'd get caught cheating.. there is noooo way I would be so hurtful to my partner.. I would keep my mouth shut.. how disgusting.. unless you really really really hurt your SO and you obviously don't care to hurt her/him.
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