Aerorobyn Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Last time I was here was in March/April for the ending of a two year relationship. I got over that one, he and I are on speaking terms (ONLY as friends), and I met someone new. I met this new guy back in May. We became an official couple during the first week of June. It was so...great. He wanted to spend every single day with me. He would send me text messages or call me, asking if I wanted to go do something before/after he got off of work, each and every day. He drove me to Kansas and Oklahoma to meet his parents/family, and told his dad that he thought I was "the one" for him. He told me he loved me, and began talking about marrying me about 2-3 weeks into the relationship. Friday evening, he asks me to bring him dinner to his job, so I did. I was going to drop it off and be on my way, but he invited me in to eat with him--so I went in. After we ate, he said he just had to wait for one plane to come in, and that I could stay there with him or go hang out with my friends if I wanted to (however, when he told me to go hang out with my friends, he kind of threw it back at me like, "go have fun...while I'm stuck here by my lonesome self being bored..."). Anyways, I decided to stay since he said it didn't matter which I did. When his plane came in, I told him I'd head home and see him in a bit--he told me I could stay if I wanted to, and see what they did. I stayed. A superior officer then comes in and explains to him that he's not allowed to have guests there at that time. We leave, and he tells me, "I'm VERY frustrated with you right now. I got in trouble at work, and it's because you didn't take the hint and leave when I told you to" --I stood up to him and told him that he gave me NO hint to leave, and told me to stay if I wanted to numerous times, so he was just as much at fault. But I did apologize for getting him in trouble. So after work, he asks me if I want to go back to his place to stay the night and have fun. I say--"Maybe we should take tonight off and do it another time. I don't want you getting anymore upset than you are." He told me, "I'm inviting you. I'm upset now, but it wont last long. I'm fine with it." So I went. When we get back to his place, he's ignoring me. Tells me he just needs some space for a bit. I go into the other room and play with the dog and stuff for an hour. After an hour, I still hadn't heard from him, so I went in there and asked if we could talk. He said he didn't want to, he needed space. I told him that I had given him time to clear his mind without me around, and asked him what about what I would like--to talk, and know what's going on. He didn't like that. He left the house for a bit. Came back, ignored me the rest of Friday night. Even ignored me Saturday morning. Then dropped me off at home on Saturday afternoon, saying he loved me and would talk to me later. 11:30 that night, I still hadn't heard from him. My best friend told me to send him a text just asking what we were, so I'd know. He calls me after I send the text. The conversation was basically: Him: "So...what do you think?" Me: "About?" Him: "About us" Me: "I want you to be happy. I've been saying that all along. If I'm not what makes you happy now, I'd like you to go find someone who makes you happy" Him: "I think you're right" Me: "So, you think we should breakup then" Him: "I think its for the best. I do love you a lot and care for you, but...its the right place at the wrong time. You don't seem to have any clue as to how a serious relationship should work" I just don't understand how this happened. He loved me and wanted me--wanted to marry me--until I stood up to him. He continuously kept blaming me for things, and I stood up and told him not everything was my fault. Why didn't I see this coming though? He has bad relationship history. He was with one girl for a year, proposed to her, and then dumped her two months before the wedding. Another girl, he was with for five months--he supposedly loved her, but then dumped her too. He put all of the blame off on these girls saying they did things wrong, but now I wonder, did they? I don't know their sides of the story. I mean, hell, he's putting all the blame on ME right now, and nothing is on him. He told me everyday throughout our nearly two months together that he would NEVER give me a reason to doubt him. He would stand by me through thick and thin, good times and bad times. I once mentioned that maybe we should lessen up on the "future" talk and just take the relationship for what it is for a bit longer. He replied with, "I don't see a point to. I've never been so sure of anything in my life--that you're the one I want. I want to spend forever with you, and grow old with you" --He even took me to look at engagement rings. I doubted for a long time, but then gradually (about a week ago) began to believe, "Okay...maybe he is being serious" I just don't get what happened. He was so sure about me--and then after one argument, poof. He's gone. I miss him something terrible. We were only together about two months, but I honestly felt more intense feelings for him than anyone else. I was hoping SO bad that this would work out, that he was being sincere about his feelings for me. Why did he go? He told me he wanted to be with me...even through the bad times... Is there any hope for us? Should I even want to be with a man like that, or am I better off without? My family and friends seem to think I'm better off without. Maybe...but...I miss him. I haven't heard from him since the breakup Saturday night.
anne1707 Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 To be honest, it sounds like you are better off without him. I would also suspect that the intensity of feelings you say you had for him may possibly be because you were on the rebound from your earlier relationship (I remember your posts from then). However I think you should take a positive stance on this. In March you really sounded as if you though you would never meet anybody again or care for anybody again. Well you did meet someone. OK maybe not "The One" but you had some fun and felt good again. Get out, enjoy being single and when you are not looking for someone, they will find you
northstar1 Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 The pattern shown by him is likely indicative of how it would have played out. Sounds like he jumps right in quickly and then self destructs it. Whatever reason for this, it's not healthy and his behaviour towards you is rather telling. It sucks, but best to figure this out now, than down the road.
adamt Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 and told his dad that he thought I was "the one" for him. He told me he loved me, and began talking about marrying me about 2-3 weeks into the relationship. Thats a warning sign for me, I would never talk about marrying someone after 2-3 weeks. Wouldn't that scare most people off? I think you are best out of it.
Excellent Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 My ex was exactly like that. Makes you feel like you are the one, even says you are the one. Just goes mental with affection on you for a few months, and then suddenly, like someone hitting a switch, they get distant in the matter of a few days/weeks, and suddenly it's over. Leaving you crushed, and with the big "?" smacked on your forehead. Is my and your ex chasers? Bipolar? Whatever the term is, the pattern is the same. Lots of love for a short time, end it, then start over with someone new. They will probably never will be able to be in a long lasting relationship, unless they get dumped or they get some prof. help.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 How very odd. This guy seems to represent two big disorders, on first notice. And a third, too. I'm telling you this so you can get a grasp on it all. Histrionic Personality Disorder Bipolar 1 or 2 and Dependent Personality Disorder. Also VERY MUCH SO sounds as if he has "Nice guy syndrome". (Don't be fooled by the title. They are quite the opposite on the inside) Listen -- you should know way better than to stick around with someone who is talking marriage and love after a few weeks. Love takes a lot longer to build than many people think. A lot of people love the idea of love, and thus, think they're in love. In reality, it takes many months in my opinion. This guy is going to destroy many lives. You miss who you THOUGHT he was. In reality, you dodged a bullet. I am a bit worried however that you would accept someone who is saying they love/want to marry you/you're the one after so short a time. I want to bet a good amount of money that when he told his dad "she's the one" he didn't seem too impressed or enthused. He's heard that before. Alas, he MAY act surprised/impressed if he himself is the cause for his sons problems.
DustySaltus Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 2-3 weeks..huuugggggeeeeee red flag ESPECIALLY if he was ENGAGED once before...
boogieboy Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 "I'm VERY frustrated with you right now. I got in trouble at work, and it's because you didn't take the hint and leave when I told you to" When you called him out on this he decides to bail? Nothing to save here, he's a little touched in the head. he probably didnt expect that you would do this, and if he cant take it, screw 'im. You dont need that in your life.
Author Aerorobyn Posted July 27, 2009 Author Posted July 27, 2009 How very odd. This guy seems to represent two big disorders, on first notice. And a third, too. I'm telling you this so you can get a grasp on it all. Histrionic Personality Disorder Bipolar 1 or 2 and Dependent Personality Disorder. Also VERY MUCH SO sounds as if he has "Nice guy syndrome". (Don't be fooled by the title. They are quite the opposite on the inside) Listen -- you should know way better than to stick around with someone who is talking marriage and love after a few weeks. Love takes a lot longer to build than many people think. A lot of people love the idea of love, and thus, think they're in love. In reality, it takes many months in my opinion. This guy is going to destroy many lives. You miss who you THOUGHT he was. In reality, you dodged a bullet. I am a bit worried however that you would accept someone who is saying they love/want to marry you/you're the one after so short a time. I want to bet a good amount of money that when he told his dad "she's the one" he didn't seem too impressed or enthused. He's heard that before. Alas, he MAY act surprised/impressed if he himself is the cause for his sons problems. If I remember correctly, he mentioned something about Bipolar running in his family. He never mentioned that he had it though. Personally, I didn't really like the idea of talking about marriage that soon. That's why I told him a few times that we should cut out the talk for a while, and just take the relationship as it is. But he apparently did not need to cut it out, because he was 100% sure that I was the girl for him. I was always a bit weary about him knowing he wanted to spend his whole life with me that soon. And when I'd bring up something about it, he would get really pissed and say something like, "See there you go again. You're always questioning how I feel about you. If I say I want to marry you, I want to marry you. I hate when people question me." So a few times, I decided to take it for what it is. He told me he would marry me RIGHT that second. So I replied back with, "Alright, sweetie. You know I need NOTHING fancy if you're the guy I'm spending my life with. Lets go down to the Justice of the Peace right now, and get married. I'll even pay the $150." --And he never went for it. He blew it off. And I did this scenario a few times. That's how, I guess, I knew he wasn't really that serious about it. But I was hoping, maybe.
Author Aerorobyn Posted July 27, 2009 Author Posted July 27, 2009 To be honest, it sounds like you are better off without him. I would also suspect that the intensity of feelings you say you had for him may possibly be because you were on the rebound from your earlier relationship (I remember your posts from then). However I think you should take a positive stance on this. In March you really sounded as if you though you would never meet anybody again or care for anybody again. Well you did meet someone. OK maybe not "The One" but you had some fun and felt good again. Get out, enjoy being single and when you are not looking for someone, they will find you I didn't think I'd ever meet anybody again, but I did. Didn't work out too well, looks like. This definitely wasn't a rebound. I got over my ex. Though I loved him, I finally realized that we were better off going our separate ways. We are still friends though. And see, I wasn't even looking for this guy. He DID find me. I thought I was lucky to have been given a second chance at "love" so soon. I guess I was mistaken. Many things have picked up since March. I've been spending much more time with two of my best friends, their significant others, and children. My best friend is expecting her second child in February, so I go over to her house a bit each day to talk with her and help out. I was having a great time. And when this guy came along, I thought it was all so much better...
Author Aerorobyn Posted July 27, 2009 Author Posted July 27, 2009 When you called him out on this he decides to bail? Nothing to save here, he's a little touched in the head. he probably didnt expect that you would do this, and if he cant take it, screw 'im. You dont need that in your life. I stood up to him a couple of times, when he tried putting full blame on me for something I KNEW wasn't totally my fault. I don't think he likes women standing up to him... He has told me stories of girls in previous relationships. One girl (his 5 month girlfriend) questioned him about some "talk" he was giving to a friend on AIM, about her, and he got really mad and told her to pack her stuff and get out--that she shouldn't have been looking at his AIM convo, nor should he have to answer any questions because she was being so nosey. (Yeah, they were living together, after 5 months together...sooner than that, actually...)
Thomas X Forever Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Histrionic P.D., Bipolar 1, the end. The symptoms include: Exhibitionist behavior.Constant seeking of reassurance or approval.Excessive dramatics with exaggerated displays of emotions.Excessive sensitivity to criticism or disapproval.Inappropriately seductive appearance or behavior.Excessive concern with physical appearance.A need to be the center of attention (self-centeredness).Low tolerance for frustration or delayed gratification.Rapidly shifting emotional states that may appear superficial or exaggerated to others.Tendency to believe that relationships are more intimate than they actually are.Making rash decisions.[5]
hoping2heal Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Him: "So...what do you think?" Me: "About?" Him: "About us" Me: "I want you to be happy. I've been saying that all along. If I'm not what makes you happy now, I'd like you to go find someone who makes you happy" Him: "I think you're right" Me: "So, you think we should breakup then" Him: "I think its for the best. I do love you a lot and care for you, but...its the right place at the wrong time. You don't seem to have any clue as to how a serious relationship should work" I just don't understand how this happened. He loved me and wanted me--wanted to marry me--until I stood up to him. He continuously kept blaming me for things, and I stood up and told him not everything was my fault. No, HE doesn't seem to have any clue as to how a serious relationship should work. If standing up to your partner and not accepting unfair share of blame is going to cause you to leave them, by all means DO IT. I remember I was once very hurt over a guy I'd been talking with because he called me "harpy" why? Because like you, I'd stand up to his BS and his BS was big. I remember one time he told me and insisted on SHOWING me the photo of a girl he was planning to take out and have sex with, in fact he insisted I be on the phone so he could hear my reaction. He called me harpy for calling out what a bunch of BS that was. The sad thing is at the time I BELIEVED him..it was like "oh I'm sorry I won't talk like that, I won't be that way." UGH. Talk about me being a doormat. That was several years ago and I know better now. Why didn't I see this coming though? He has bad relationship history. He was with one girl for a year, proposed to her, and then dumped her two months before the wedding. Another girl, he was with for five months--he supposedly loved her, but then dumped her too. He put all of the blame off on these girls saying they did things wrong, but now I wonder, did they? I don't know their sides of the story. I mean, hell, he's putting all the blame on ME right now, and nothing is on him. They may of done things wrong, but I guarantee you they didn't do EVERYTHING wrong and left him 100 percent innocent. Yes, it seems like now he's repeating that behavior for you. How convinient for him. He told me everyday throughout our nearly two months together that he would NEVER give me a reason to doubt him. He would stand by me through thick and thin, good times and bad times. I once mentioned that maybe we should lessen up on the "future" talk and just take the relationship for what it is for a bit longer. He replied with, "I don't see a point to. I've never been so sure of anything in my life--that you're the one I want. I want to spend forever with you, and grow old with you" --He even took me to look at engagement rings. Words honey, all words. Nothing more than words. His words say he's so sure of you, he wants to spend forever, he's never been so sure, wants to be there through thick and thin..and yet you two have barely even gotten into what's "thick" and he dumps you. This was all words, and he didn't mean any of it. You are not what you say, you are what you do. If you want to know if you can believe someone's word, you just make sure that their actions line up with what that word is. I doubted for a long time, but then gradually (about a week ago) began to believe, "Okay...maybe he is being serious" I just don't get what happened. He was so sure about me--and then after one argument, poof. He's gone. What happened? He lied every word of what he said to you, and now his real truth and his real intentions are being exposed. That's all, it's got nothing to do with you really, he was just lying his ass off to you and now the truth is surfacing. I miss him something terrible. We were only together about two months, but I honestly felt more intense feelings for him than anyone else. I was hoping SO bad that this would work out, that he was being sincere about his feelings for me. Why did he go? He told me he wanted to be with me...even through the bad times... Is there any hope for us? Should I even want to be with a man like that, or am I better off without? My family and friends seem to think I'm better off without. Maybe...but...I miss him. I haven't heard from him since the breakup Saturday night. Again, he left after telling you he wanted to be with you even through the bad times, because he lied. He wasn't sincere, he didn't mean what he said. If he did, he'd still be here. You two were together for two months, you don't even know as a couple yet the meaning of bad times, and he's split. Should you want to be with a man like that? IMHO No, I think you would be much better off with a man who means what he says. Go NC with this jerk and stay that way.
utterer of lies Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Histrionic P.D., Bipolar 1, the end. The symptoms include: Exhibitionist behavior.Constant seeking of reassurance or approval.Excessive dramatics with exaggerated displays of emotions.Excessive sensitivity to criticism or disapproval.Inappropriately seductive appearance or behavior.Excessive concern with physical appearance.A need to be the center of attention (self-centeredness).Low tolerance for frustration or delayed gratification.Rapidly shifting emotional states that may appear superficial or exaggerated to others.Tendency to believe that relationships are more intimate than they actually are.Making rash decisions.[5] Pop-psychology. Is there anything better than a remote diagnosis based upon a few lines of 'hearsay'?
northstar1 Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Histrionic P.D., Bipolar 1, the end. The symptoms include: Exhibitionist behavior.Constant seeking of reassurance or approval.Excessive dramatics with exaggerated displays of emotions.Excessive sensitivity to criticism or disapproval.Inappropriately seductive appearance or behavior.Excessive concern with physical appearance.A need to be the center of attention (self-centeredness).Low tolerance for frustration or delayed gratification.Rapidly shifting emotional states that may appear superficial or exaggerated to others.Tendency to believe that relationships are more intimate than they actually are.Making rash decisions.[5] Possibly, but Bipolar disorder is not easy to diagnose, pariticularly from the little bit of info we have on the guy. Either way, he's thrown up enough flags that mood disorder or not, she can run far away.
hoping2heal Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Possibly, but Bipolar disorder is not easy to diagnose, pariticularly from the little bit of info we have on the guy. Either way, he's thrown up enough flags that mood disorder or not, she can run far away. Exactly, the biggest problem with this guy is he is all words and doesn't mean any of them. Personality disorder or not, you can't get far on words with no meaning. Actually, I'd say he has bigger chances of having narcisstic personality disorder, based on what I've read.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 I'd disagree. She hasn't stated how he only brags about himself, talks about himself, cares about himself, boasts, etc. From his history listed, he has Histrionic PD. He has qualified multiple times for many of those symptoms. Disorders aren't categorized by simple symptoms, but rather by how often they are experienced. And he has shown through multiple episodes, both in this and past relationships, that he does indeed have them.
hoping2heal Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 I'd disagree. She hasn't stated how he only brags about himself, talks about himself, cares about himself, boasts, etc. From his history listed, he has Histrionic PD. He has qualified multiple times for many of those symptoms. Disorders aren't categorized by simple symptoms, but rather by how often they are experienced. And he has shown through multiple episodes, both in this and past relationships, that he does indeed have them. I agree with the histronic part, As for the NPD, because he dumped her for disagreeing with him- NPD people love having people that validate their illusions of greatness about themself, when a person becomes a threat to providing that or becomes a threat in exposing a weakness, it is typical for those with NPD to move on to the next, they cannot handle having anyone in their life that might reflect imperfection on them. Because he used such strong words to describe a false emotion, shows he has difficulty actually connecting and sincerely bonding with others. Another common trait of NPD, If you notice, she has mentioned that through his eyes, all of his past relationships failed because of mistakes on his partners behalf; another trait of NPD. NPD goes far beyond one bragging and talking themselves up.
northstar1 Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Or he's just a selfish guy who ulimately has committment issues. It's way too easy to assign a personality disorder to people based on behaviour that doesn't align with our perception of 'normal.' And we certainly don't have enough info (let alone a complete physical/psychological profile) to tell if he has HPD, NPD or any of the other disorders in the DSM IV.
hoping2heal Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Or he's just a selfish guy who ulimately has committment issues. It's way too easy to assign a personality disorder to people based on behaviour that doesn't align with our perception of 'normal.' And we certainly don't have enough info (let alone a complete physical/psychological profile) to tell if he has HPD, NPD or any of the other disorders in the DSM IV. I agree, I was throwing it out there along with the spirit of things Since we were diagnosing people on the contents of one person's side of the story only and based on a few brief examples
Author Aerorobyn Posted July 27, 2009 Author Posted July 27, 2009 I don't know if he has any disorders, nor am I capable of defining one if he does have it. I know he can NEVER say "sorry" to a woman--or anyone, for that matter. When something goes wrong, it IS always the other persons fault. I saw that with the way he acted towards me, some of his friends, some of his family, and some of his co-workers. When somebody would try to talk to him about something, he would--99% of the time--change the subject to one of his two interests: Cars or Airplanes. And he'd go on about those for hours, not even mentioning what the other person brought up. I'm not working. For one, I can't find a job; two, I'm a full time student. He told me that it was fine, that my job was to finish school, and his job was to support "us". He knows I have no money. The day before the breakup, he made a comment stating that he was kind of tired of always having to pick me up to go on dates, pay for me, etc. He wanted me to pay and drive a bit. I'd gladly, but...he knew when we got together that I didn't have sufficient funds to do that, and he said it was OK then. He always wanted me to spend the night at his place. Even when I told him I couldn't because my family wanted me to stay home that night, he'd get a little pissy...that I was abandoning him and not trusting him, and instead wanting my family more than him. When we first started dating, he mentioned taking me for a little picnic on the cockpit of the plane he works on. It never happened. A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that I'd like to do that, because he asked me what I wanted to do that day. So I told him--how about that picnic. He said, "Sounds fun. But I do that stuff when I want to, not because somebody is expecting me to." He always bragged about his position at work. He's in the military (Navy). His rank is E-5. He would always talk about, "Yeah, all the guys I work with are much below me. They're all E-2's or E-3's, so I'm really lucky to be the superior over all of them. I think I pretty much have all the stuff down, and these guys need someone like me around telling them how things work there."
hoping2heal Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 I don't know if he has any disorders, nor am I capable of defining one if he does have it. I know he can NEVER say "sorry" to a woman--or anyone, for that matter. When something goes wrong, it IS always the other persons fault. I saw that with the way he acted towards me, some of his friends, some of his family, and some of his co-workers. When somebody would try to talk to him about something, he would--99% of the time--change the subject to one of his two interests: Cars or Airplanes. And he'd go on about those for hours, not even mentioning what the other person brought up. I'm not working. For one, I can't find a job; two, I'm a full time student. He told me that it was fine, that my job was to finish school, and his job was to support "us". He knows I have no money. The day before the breakup, he made a comment stating that he was kind of tired of always having to pick me up to go on dates, pay for me, etc. He wanted me to pay and drive a bit. I'd gladly, but...he knew when we got together that I didn't have sufficient funds to do that, and he said it was OK then. He always wanted me to spend the night at his place. Even when I told him I couldn't because my family wanted me to stay home that night, he'd get a little pissy...that I was abandoning him and not trusting him, and instead wanting my family more than him. When we first started dating, he mentioned taking me for a little picnic on the cockpit of the plane he works on. It never happened. A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that I'd like to do that, because he asked me what I wanted to do that day. So I told him--how about that picnic. He said, "Sounds fun. But I do that stuff when I want to, not because somebody is expecting me to." He always bragged about his position at work. He's in the military (Navy). His rank is E-5. He would always talk about, "Yeah, all the guys I work with are much below me. They're all E-2's or E-3's, so I'm really lucky to be the superior over all of them. I think I pretty much have all the stuff down, and these guys need someone like me around telling them how things work there." Sorry OP, I doubt all these swirls about a personality disorder or not are not helpful to you. Anyhow, personality disorder or not, I hope you realise that for whichever reason, this man is not capable of treating you right, being sincere or genuine with you, and is not going to provide a secure and safe happy relationship environment for you. You are so much better off than being with someone who will erode your self esteem and self worth like a long term relationship with this guy will. Ok hun?
Author Aerorobyn Posted July 27, 2009 Author Posted July 27, 2009 Sorry OP, I doubt all these swirls about a personality disorder or not are not helpful to you. Anyhow, personality disorder or not, I hope you realise that for whichever reason, this man is not capable of treating you right, being sincere or genuine with you, and is not going to provide a secure and safe happy relationship environment for you. You are so much better off than being with someone who will erode your self esteem and self worth like a long term relationship with this guy will. Ok hun? Thanks... Deep down, I can see he's no good for me. He doesn't want me, nor did he ever love me. But a part of me still wants him and everything we did together... I also remember me mentioning that I wanted to join the military (I've been thinking about it since I was 15), and he said that we probably wouldn't work if I did, because he did NOT want to be with a woman in the military. So...he wasn't really accepting of my dreams/goals there. I thought that's what love was...accepting the other person, and allowing them to follow their dreams/goals/heart. I'm lucky this was only two months. But gosh, I do miss him. I miss our daily talks and how he'd always tell me he "loved" me.
hoping2heal Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Thanks... Deep down, I can see he's no good for me. He doesn't want me, nor did he ever love me. But a part of me still wants him and everything we did together... I also remember me mentioning that I wanted to join the military (I've been thinking about it since I was 15), and he said that we probably wouldn't work if I did, because he did NOT want to be with a woman in the military. So...he wasn't really accepting of my dreams/goals there. I thought that's what love was...accepting the other person, and allowing them to follow their dreams/goals/heart. I'm lucky this was only two months. But gosh, I do miss him. I miss our daily talks and how he'd always tell me he "loved" me. Sweetheart, he might of said "I love you" in words, but unfortunately his actions during your time together spoke nothing of the sort. Everything was on his schedule, on his convinience. That's not loving another person, you made a lot of sacrifices and arrangements for him because he refused to compromise, again that is not love. The words of love have very little meaning without action behind them. One day you will meet a man who doesn't just tell you he loves you, but he actually SHOWS it. He compromises with you, he listens to your concerns, he lets you be mad at him (as long as it's valid) and doesn't end things over it. He treats not only you but others with respect and decency. That is the kind of connection you need to look out for, that's the right kind of love. Just make sure you're not blinded by some jerk like this guy when a good guy like that comes along You settled for the words, even though the actions were never really there. I understand what that's like, I have been there. I've made those mistakes, countless times. Don't worry about him, guys like him are everywhere, dime a dozen. It's no loss to you, you might think it is, but a man who tells aw oman he loves her and doesn't show it, is no real friend to a woman's heart. Best of luck.
Author Aerorobyn Posted July 27, 2009 Author Posted July 27, 2009 Well, thank you again... I'm better off without him, true. I still miss him though. But sheesh...it's like I have everything to look forward to in life--great friends and family, doing well in school, etc. And I'm happy with all of that, but.... I really would like that special someone to share it with, you know? I'm not talking getting married or having kids right now. Just...that guy, who is my best friend, as well as my lover. Maybe I'm one of the unlucky few who wont get that out of life though.
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