brock9911 Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 my moods seem to swing like a pendulum but for the past few weeks, iv noticed more positive feelings in myself. my friends and co-workers all notice it. not as stressed, angry, bitter ect. but does this mean im over my ex or am i fooling myself and its just a stage im at right now. than in a week ill be dwelling on it again. i still think of her all the time, i just havent been letting myself get down on it. i felt like absolute sh*t that i didnt call her on her bday. by y should i, its done. also iv been thinking about how in a few weeks, it would have been our 8th year anniversary so that has been on my mind also. all things i should be letting go of, but at least im not letting them drag me down. oh but one thing that irks the sh*t outa me is she still has a picture of us on her myspace as her default, im still her top friend, and she has her status as in a relationship. urgh. i dont know why but that does put me in a royally f*cking bad mood!
dimsteps Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 You did the right thing not calling on her birthday and don't call on the anniversary either. The positive changes don't exactly mean that you're over your ex, but they mean you're getting over her. You're in the process of it. I know, it's weird, you almost don't want to feel indifferent about your ex, but it's just part of the process. In a week or two it'll feel even better. And so on and so forth. Have you been going out a lot or shutting yourself in? I ask because I think now would be a good time to start going out with friends and trying to have a good time. It will give you that extra push to start moving on for real. Keep concentrating on you. Rebuild yourself or work on areas that you think need improvement, and learn to respect yourself. If there's one thing I see a lot on this forum, it's low self-esteem. When somebody gets dumped, their self-esteem tends to go out the window for a while. It's up to you to take the risks necessary to build it back up and get to that point where you've truly moved on. Good luck.
Author brock9911 Posted July 27, 2009 Author Posted July 27, 2009 i honestly dont think i stopped going out. i started partying like crazy. im starting to tone it down now cuz it was affecting my job. but yeah iv been living up the single life. i guess im insecure, but at the same time confident. i know what im good at and i like the feeling of that, but at the same time, i need reassurance in the things i do. its kinda weird. i also have a lot of friends who refuse to let me shelter myself in my home. they basically drag me out, now im the one dragging them out. in the beginning i would get drunk and angry because of the situation, but now i go out and have fun. meeting up with old friends and making new ones. the process could be harder, but i guess with all the fighting we were doing, its kinda a relief. even if i do miss her
fabulous_chk Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 I'm a lot more social. I am now wild and crazy. People get attracted to me, male and female. It's because I have this "I don't give a f.u.c.k." attitude - I think people pick up on the undercurrents that I basically am in a very explosive mode and they get excited because of it. I radiate tense energy. They wanna watch me. Brock you will still have wtf moments but it won't be as pervasive. Like a little glitch here and there (I still get twinges of pain too, 4+ months after the break-up).
Ruby Slippers Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 I relate on the moodiness. It's a long, arduous, up-and-down process. It's getting better all the time, though. The most significant positive change is that I am much more in control of my peace of mind and what's happening in my life. I don't have to feel bad anymore because he's not there for me, distant, unavailable. Ugh. Being in a relationship with someone who's not all there with you is a very lonely feeling -- to me, it was often lonelier than being single. oh but one thing that irks the sh*t outa me is she still has a picture of us on her myspace as her default, im still her top friend, and she has her status as in a relationship. urgh. i dont know why but that does put me in a royally f*cking bad mood! I know how you feel. He has three sappy pictures of us on his myspace still, and I feel that he has no right to keep those posted anymore. It pisses me off, and I really wish he would take them down. He kept me as his #1 friend, too, but I deleted him as a friend so I no longer appear on his friends list.
lalucci Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 You know what, the if, if, if is killing you and happens to me also. When you have a life project, and when she is on all pages is very difficult to get over. I don’t think is the issue of self confident, respect your self all that is sh@#. One day you will wake up and she not longer will be in your heart, when? when is time..only God will know. If you think you can save the relationship do it..if not you need to grieve that love; but the most important think is that you feel inside that you done everything to save the relationship. Is not easy I am in the same stage as you are, but time will pass and I know it will heal our hearts.
Road To Joy Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 It is completely normal and it gets to a point where you think you're over it, but you're not. I was going through exactly that. I still missed her and felt sad over the situation but I was good with what my life was currently consisting of and I looked forward to the future. She contacted me on my birthday, and me thinking I was recovered at least enough to talk to her, fell into the trap and went straight back to square one. Keep doing what you're doing. There will be down days but it'll become better and better as time goes on. Also one of the BEST things you can do is delete her from social networking sites (MySpace). When my breakup occurred, I deleted my MySpace all together and blocked her MySpace (I knew her URL so I wouldn't go on her MySpace anyways to look at her default and mood).
carhill Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 does anyone notice positive changes since breaking up. Absolutely. I was happy to accept a current power bill of about 500.00 less than this month last year. Sometimes positive things are in the details At 50, TBH, all that relationship angst stuff is in the past for me. Women are interesting distractions but life is too short to dwell on them. Hope everything works out...
georgia girl Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 I think I've become stronger and for some reason, I think that will help make me happier in the end. I know I can handle this. I also know that the next time, I'll be a little more aware of my own needs and my partner's needs, so we hopefully won't get here. I also know, however, that next time, I won't fear the breakup so much that I put up with bullsh*t beforehand. I can get over it. I've already proved that to myself.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 I thought of another huge one. This has come not just from the breakup, but all the reading, conversations, and introspection I have done since then. I think that I will be much better in the future at keeping my goals, friendships, personal projects, business, etc. on the front burner, with just as much importance as my romantic relationship, not letting the relationship detract from any of these. I have gotten better at this as I have matured, and recent experiences and learning have only reinforced just how important it is.
wow123 Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Brock, I saw lots of changes but have regressed since she came back and left again. What town do you live in? We should go out and meet some good girls.
Author brock9911 Posted July 28, 2009 Author Posted July 28, 2009 haha in in west babylon. tuesday night is lifeguard night in babylon village tons of chicks. im meeting girls, im just not that comfortable yet. sh*t still lingers. where u located
wow123 Posted July 28, 2009 Posted July 28, 2009 Close by...went to lifeguard night alot last year...gotta get there this summer.
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