lovebound Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Ok, i met this guy about a year ago when i was still dating my ex-boyfriend. after i broke up with my ex, he chased me for about a year, asking me to join him on parties, activities,etc. although i never always went, he kept trying to ask me out for about a year, we kissed a couple of times, but i never thought much about it cause i did not know much about him and wasnt sure that he was really meaning it, i guess i was more cautious since i broke up with my ex and my ex really hurt me bad, so i had this mistrust of any men. well, he at one time confessed that he had a crush on me but i blew him off. he lost his job, had a bad car accident and he decided to move back with his family in ny, cause he could not afford live in florida anymore. a couple of weeks before he left i guess i started to leave my guard down and we spent every day together,i have to admit that all of the suddent i felt so sad to see him go and realized that he had grown in me. he ended up spending all the time together, but the day came when he had to leave, we slept together during that time and spent time sleeping over. after he left i was very sad, i thought that was the end of it, but we have kept in touch every day for 2 weeks, talk on the phone, text, facebook. we talk about what we do every day, and we have phone sex.turns out that i will be in ny at the end of august, and we decided i will stay with him for four days. he says that he cant wait for me to be there. and he wants me to meet his family. i thought that maybe he just wanted sex, and we talk about being sexual with each other a lot, he loves sex, i love sex. but last nite he said that yes he wanted to have sex with me but that he also wanted while i am in ny to make love to me and me to make love to him. My first thought is that he wanted to make the loving part special. if someone says that to you, under the circumstances described, do u think that he is starting to grow feelings? is you tell someone u want to make love to them, does that mean that he cares for you more than just hooking up? i am surprised that he said that cause he is a very good looking man and has lots of girls after him, and never expected for him to say that. I find myself growing feelings for him. do you think he may be to? i mean, he knows he is going to get sex, why say that? we will see each other again, i travel to ny every two months or so and he is planning to come to florida in two months to move the rest of his stuff. what are your thoughts?
boogieboy Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 Do you really want to get heavily attached to someone you will only see every two months? If hes a good looking guy, theres too much opportunity for him to find another right there in NY. I wouldnt do it. He probably likes you alot which is why he says that, but IMO its not a good idea to keep that going.
lizzy_09 Posted July 27, 2009 Posted July 27, 2009 lovebound, relationships isn't just about sexual compatibility alone. It's also about getting to know, understanding and dealing with each others individual differences. It's about working together as a team. I quiet agree with boogieboy. You have to weigh your options before you really decide to continue with this relationship. Try to consider that you'll only be together for 2 months at each time which means that you don't have that much time to nurture and let this relationship grow. The feeling is there but sometimes the distance creates some hinderance since once your apart, you both rely much only on each other's words on the phone, text messages, e-mail and chat rooms. The temptation is quiet great too. And once he pays less attention, doubts creep up on you and makes you feel insecure. You'd often get suspicious when he's being secretive. All I'm saying is that before you try to invest on this, try to examine yourself, if you think your capable of dealing with a long distance relationships with all its possible outcome, do you think you can be able to manage it? If you say "yes", then go for it. If your having doubts, then don't jump at things your so unsure. But then again, life is a gamble. It still comes down on what your capable of dealing with. Not him, YOU.
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